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  • OceanSage
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    Sober
    I remember drinking bag wine on the haight with Feather and thinking, "life is good". Love that sister. But life changes and you change with it. I went out to Ohio looking for love and good times. Found both..... Did the marijuana maintenance program.... But hey that was for religious purposes, right? I used to come on Dead net in the nineties frying my ass off looking for a chat buddy. I realize now that no one can really have a conversation when they're that high. But even though I really enjoyed the company of the Ohio family, I realized that there was something missing.... It took a return to California to come to terms with my addiction. I was back on dope in no time and I developed schizophrenia just all of a sudden one day. I had been "taking a break" from the dope and it had been a while since I had used when the schizophrenia came on. Scared the holy livin hell out of me. Took three years to be diagnosed. During which time I was sober, well most of the time. I was sober for four years and then one day I guess I just decided to have a drink. No real pearls of wisdom coming from my direction, just think things are gonna work out. I can't get all caught up in the dope this time. No Meth, crack, coke, heroin.... just booze and weed right? Now I'm back in school. Been back in school since last year. Been drinking again for about three months. I'm hanging on to my future by the skin of my teeth. What I really want to do is go on tour. Maybe tour will make it all clear again. Maybe I'll run into some kind Warfrats and I'll put the booze behind me. I feel alone a lot. Not like I felt when I was a teenager and I was exploring the coast. When I was young and influencial and I loved the music and the music loved me back. But just alone. Not many people my age at the school I'm going to and even though there are heads here I'm just not reaching out. Maybe I'll meet up with some kind kids on tour next year, or the year after, or...... when I have time. maybe I'll stop then. Well a toast to the love of the dead and the love we share there. Peace to Feather, Star and all the other Haight street kids over the years... may we be immortal. Forever as one. One people, One Heart, One Destiny. One LoveZelda
  • sixstringsmoreorLesh
    Joined:
    '88-'91
    tj crowley got sober in '88. joined the 'yellow ballon' tribe spring tour '88 what do ya need? tom
  • duckidaho
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    wharf rats from '88-91?
    Any wharf rats on here from tours 1988-1991, or from the sober newsletter "Grateful We're not Dead" that existed before that?
  • sixstringsmoreorLesh
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    ooppps!!
    tj crowley i do not agree w/ the wharf-rat sticker 'save your face' and have voiced my opinion for many years. when my clinets complete Tx, i supply them w/ a choice of NA/AA sticker but cut out the extra section of white suppling only the skeleton and diamond/triangle. it's not 'save your face' but save your ass!! i've spent many a year trying to look/sound and pretend all is well when my ass was falling off. so....it's not save my face but my arse and as always 'any A to save my A' beside..it looks better on the back on vehicles w/o extra white area of sticker
  • sixstringsmoreorLesh
    Joined:
    enjoying the ride
    tj crowley only suggesstion i did not take was to 'give up the dead' when i got sober'clean 'wharfrat' just formed and was glad that there was/is an outlet while attending GD shows (other than exiting the show-which is also good advice) pass it on it
  • spindancer
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    RIP Pablo
    Just a bump to y'all for getting and staying clean. I posted a "looking for" rant on the Dead forum awhile back because I hadn't heard from a friend. The forum moderator must have deleted it for being marginally inappropriate. Turns out the buddy I was looking for was found in his apartment surrounded by empty vodka bottles. Such a sweet, intelligent, funny, tormented soul. Last I spoke with him on the phone he claimed to be sober, but he either was pulling my leg or it didn't last long. Damn. Remember folks, if you're slipping and you're feeling alone, somebody out there loves you. If you don't feel like you can talk with your regular friends or family about it, post on this forum, call a hotline, or something, anything, to stay alive. You've got family right here. You've got family out there. "Ten years ago I walked this street, my dreams were riding tall Tonight I would be thankful, Lord, for any dream at all Some folks would be happy just to have one dream come true But everything you gather is just more that you can lose..." RIP Pablo. "May you build a ladder to the stars and climb on every rung." You'll be with me in Denver in May. Oh, the countless paths we've walked, the countless shows we've ventured... the places and spaces... the beaches and woodlands... never more will those huge toes wiggle in the muds of glee...
  • Jimmy C.
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    waynesworld517
    San Fernando Valley here.......Drop me a line........meet at the Forum......We shall surely meet as we trudge this road of happy destiny.......May God bless and keep you until then. :o) Broken heart don't feel so bad......You ain't got half of what you thought you had.
  • waynesworld517
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    happy 23
    congrats that is awesome! I am down here in so. cal if anyone knows any rats out here in my neck of the woods please let me know. I would like to meet up with some like minded people! Still hoping I get a chance to catch a show this year. We will see. Anyway hello to all and keep in touch.
  • batcavejoe
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    Congrats GR8FLPT!!!!
    One show at a time!!!!
  • GR8FLPT
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    You got that right!!!
    "One day at a time.............In a row" "No matter where you go, there you are..." Buckaroo Bonzai
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17 years 1 month
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Welcome, Wharf-Rats.
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14 years 4 months
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For those of you who have the full-legth vid of Alpine, '89 ...3rd show -- I'm the guy with the faded bells, perma-fried hairdo and the long-sleeved blue and white striped mork-from-ork shirt who didn't realize what a sun ticket was and wandered back to his perch just out of the rain. Had been jamming the Dream song by Ministry. Blue's for Al Lah. Iechyd da, wasalaam. C*
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14 years 8 months
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in and out of opiate addiction for 20 years, doc put me on Suboxone and my life is changing.Starting to feel good in my own skin and rack up some clean time (4 months) going to meetings and changing those people places and things! Looking for any Oklahoma heads that are serious about staying clean and swapping bootlegs....
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14 years 4 months
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I used to see the meetings going during intermission, and it always brought a sense of normalcy and purpose beyond what I would see away from the stage. I loved the music, but didnt care that much,was rather terrified really of the drug-alchohol inspired serenity that I was witnessing,. Wasn't sure I fit in, but seeing you guys always reminded me that the dead were about the music and not just a party- the community was much more than far away eyes and tantric twirling, By my 20th show I stopped hanging in the lots and went straight to the line. I think you guys helped me see that, so thanks!
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15 years 2 months
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My sweetie Greg and I are flying up tomorrow from Long Beach for this show [a birthday present for Greg]. Forgive me if I start to sound geeky, please. I went to my first show last May in LA and I was in an ethereal bliss for weeks. The Wharf Rats meeting at the break was amazing, happy, joyous, and free. We were talking this morning and were wondering about giving service to help set up the WR table or any other way we could be maximally useful to HP and our fellow WRs. If someone knows who we might contact, could you please e-mail me at nmccarthymd@earthlink.net ? I'm already levitating from excitement and I'm still at work. Cheers, Nancy 9/24/2002 me 10/31/01 Greg "Today we're going to teach poodles to fly."-Raul Hernandez, UHF
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15 years 6 months
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Hey Where you guys at in Los Angeles...Is Chef Larry around ? I emailed him, he never responded to me... Peace, Love & Blessings Tangled Up In Blue...Sharona
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16 years 5 months
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all is well i will be 6 months clean and sober on the 2nd in like 2 days minis one slip of pot one month ago relized i didnt like it anymore and went on with my life keep in touch family one love!!!Teddy Dave Says!!!
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15 years 8 months
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just thought i would chime in.... My name is Patrick and I am an alcoholic and addict. I have been clean and sober since May 20th 2007 with the help of the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps, and my higher power who i call God. I'm an definitely not a first-niter to this. I have been struggling to stay clean and sober for close to 20 years now. I have been to numerous rehabilitation centers, detoxes and programs in the hopes to get help. They never failed me for they all gave me the tools and the resources to help me, BUT either i wasn't ready, wasn't willing to put the needed effort into MY OWN recovery or i was doing it for the wrong reason or for someone else (mostly pressures from my family) My addictions have taken me to many dark places in my life; selling my plasma (blood) for alcohol, homelessness (pushing my entire belongings in a baby-cart until the wheels fell of at the bottom Haight street) stealing from my family, lying so much that I actually started to believe my own pathetic lies. I literally lost my identity. My family didn't even know me anymore. I was just a shell of a person that I used to be. Alcohol and drugs were no longer a form of recreation for me anymore like they used to be in my early youthful days growing up in the parking lots at the shows, but it was a slow form of suicide. Today i live my life one day at a time. I put the principles of the 12 steps into ACTION today. I have a sponsor, a home group I attend regularly. I have a wonderful life now, a loving wife and step kids, and two cats and a dog. I lost my job last year, and now i have an even better job helping people who are mostly terminally ill with cancer. here is the link to a temp wharfrat meeting room: http://www.everywherechat.com/chatnow.php?defaultRoom=The_Wharfrat_Meet…
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15 years 5 months
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I'm not an alcoholic or recovering drug addict, but I want to honor all Wharf Rats or anyone struggling to live a healthier life. I've done my share of recreational drugs, and had to tear myself away a couple of times from unhealthy scenes and friends, so I understand how hard it must be to attend shows. I do have a beer or two at a show, and will smoke a little, so I'm not saying it's all bad, just when done so much your brain can't hear the layers of meaning in the music's lyrics. I feel our community and family centered around the GD and now Furthur, is at a crossroads. I see four generations at shows, each with a slightly different tradition and idea of what it's all about. From the first generation onward it was accepted and understood that drug use was a part of the scene. My personal understanding is that drug use as it pertains to the Dead's music had a personally transformative and transcending nature. I'm not seeing much of that idea to the forefront anymore, hopefully it's still there but overwhelmed by the hard partyers. Too much I see young folks getting wasted almost as a prerequisite to enjoying the show, or thinking themselves as part of the community. Too much do I see gratuitous drinking of alcohol (a depressant) and incessant smoking of pot (one hit should get you that good mental high). I don't think it's good for anyone to drink, smoke and take drugs like I see at shows, and it's definitely not good for the continuation of our community. Maybe these same folks are drinking and smoking a lot all the time. Whatever the case may be, I'd like to just say that I wish there was an official recognition of the Wharf Rats within us, and that there was a movement of moderation at shows. Phil does his donor rap, and we all love that. What if at every show someone plugged moderation? Just something like "hey, you don't don't have to get wasted to be with us". And if not that, how about a booth, or wharf rat t-shirts to help balance the message of drugs. After all, who would deny that drugs took Jerry down. Wouldn't that be message enough?
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"Who would deny that drugs took Jerry down. Wouldn't that be message enough?" Brent and Pigpen and Keith too. I support all Wharf Rats, especially the ones who appreciate how much more they can hear and remember of the music. There are a lot of people who went to spectacular shows but can't remember a thing. Hang in there, you'll sweat it out.
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14 years
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Just checking in with y'all. I'm going to the show in ME. and I'm looking forward to meeting everyone I can. Ya just never know what kind of fun, your gonna have :) peace people and smile :)
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15 years 9 months
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be kind to your mind_bill grahm -
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16 years
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Hi Gang - I am a "seasoned" woman attending the 3 RR shows, solo, travelling from AZ (by way of SB and LA, where I am meeting up with friends). Wondered if there are any women wharfrats with some sobriety out there who might be interested in sharing rented accomodation (motel, etc) in Colorado (non-smoking is critical!)? Could share driving in the area, catch some meetings, whatever? Always nice to save money! If interested, please send a private message - I am hoping to book something soon! Thanks! - Kym
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15 years 8 months
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Havent checked in in a while...went to Further on July 2 in Columbus-awesome!!!Hope everyone out there is happy, sober, and happy to be sober!!! Love n Light-hcm
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16 years
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Thought you might enjoy this speaker mtg/dance: Event: Grateful (we aren't) Dead - The Hippie Experience Date: Sat. July 31st Details: Speaker 8:00 (Roy B.) Dance 9:15-Midnight Costume Contest 50/50 Raffle Location: First United Methodist Church 15 East 1st Avenue (1st Ave and Center) Downtown Mesa Contact info: Roy D 480-773-5543
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13 years 11 months
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hey now. hope you're all enjoying a great summer tour. i know i have been. it could be a lot better, though...which is why i need someone to talk to. i was in program and a w.w. for about 10 years (that was 21 years ago). moved away and when i came back i thought i was fine. started seeing shows again with my best bud for 20+ years. it started to become really clear that we were headed down a dangerous road last year. but it has become intolerable as of last night at the nokia show. we went to dinner first and had a few beers. then at the show a few more, a puff or two, and we were set. then my friend tried to coerce me in to taking a sip of whiskey. i said no way but he kept insisting, and it wasn't a joke or at all funny. it bothered me a lot that he would not stop, to the point where he just carried too far, and then some. it became a power of the wills, but i won this one. i do not want to go down that road again... i may not have been the worst drunk or pothead in the world, but my history shows that i can easily get carried away (at one point i.v. + pills + booze). i was sad to see my friend (who i met in program) so wasted, and myself on the verge. if any kind sister out there is willing to be of support, it would be gratefully accepted. thanks so much.
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13 years 11 months
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you are right, of course. and i have the fortitude and capacity to display these innate strengths. i know that i need to take care of myself first, and by doing so be a power of example. i have made some deep inquiry into the situation and at this point have decided that i do not wish to participate in the current behavior cycle. live the Truth, and only Truth will manifest. Namaste
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16 years 10 months
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Still struggling to stay clean. Coming up on six months again. Played at a jam session tonight. I play the harmonica, it was awesome, we had so much fun. Being clean feels good most days but sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing for the right reasons. I wonder if I latched on to recovery because I had a hard time connecting with new people when I got back up here to Seattle, and the people that I know are clean have always treated me with love and kindness. I guess that's a good enough reason in the begining. To say nothing of the unmanagability of my life when I use. But anyway, I'm going to start doing sweats and hopefuly the spirit will heal me. I know that it is a process, but I would like to feel the rewards sooner rather than later. Working on my character defects presently and believe me, looking honestly at myself isn't easy. There is a pattern and a cycle of self sabatoge that manifests as character defects. We'll see. Maybe when I'm entirely ready to have the spirit remove my defects of character and I work honestly and diligently on them, each day, I will be blessed with some relief from the torment they have on my life. Maybe.Zelda
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13 years 10 months
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Six months is a long time stay strong i lived that cycle for years recovery then always found an excuse too relapse.Dont talk yourself into it.Stay strong sage. Peace and love too you.
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Controlled sweats and gentle herbs to leech toxins from vital organs as well as regular routine of yoga to also squeeze the toxins out is great recipe. You have to want it. Best wishes!
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15 years 3 months
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The Grateful Dead and The Deadheads saved my life with music,brotherhood and peace at a bad time in my life and I have never forgotten that. Man Iam sure glad they found me ! I once had two good eyes and still could not see ! I have been clean and sobber for over two years now and count myself as a wharf rat. Seen alot of shows and still catching them when I can. A great blessing in my life has been my sugar magnolia and she blessed me with twin girls. They are now three years old now and love music also. My wife let me name one of the girls and I gave her the name Cassidy and her sister's name is Sophia. Peace to All !
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13 years 10 months
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Good for you man!!! much love to you and your family Peace!!!!!! What you are is what your meant to be.
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13 years 10 months
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I dont really have a problem staying clean its been 16 years now relapse is not an option.I struggle with myself, my feelings think its a self worth thing constantly questioning myself and my actions. Cant get used to this 9 till 5 conformed lifestyle maybe thats what it is who knows.Guess what im saying is its a constant struggle this recovery thing it just gets easier as time moves on much love all what a long strange trip its been.
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15 years 3 months
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Hello and much love to all of those living their lives unaltered by chemicals! If you're like me, this way of life isn't "natural" (pun intended) and it requires a LOT of diligence and effort. Keep at it, the rewards are beyond measure. I was seven years sober before I caught on to what the Dead are/were about. Leave the chemicals behind. This music is really about transcending this mortal coil for those few precious moments to catch a glimpse of the spirit that exists inside us all. This may sound "mushy" to some, but isn't THAT the reason we used chemicals in the first place?? "Once in a while you get shone the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right."
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15 years 3 months
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Hello everyone :). My names Bree and I was just wondering if anyone knows if there is any Wharf Rat meetings in Michigan or a website I can get a list of meetings at? It would be much appreciated thanks! Take it Easy
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13 years 10 months
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Im in the uk so cant help with the meetings thing sorry,i been clean 17 years so if ya wanna talk,or ican help with anything let me know.Peace sister!!!!!
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15 years 3 months
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My name's Tony and I'm wondering if there's any wharfrat meetings in San Diego, CA. I go to lots of regular meetings, I'm just curious about how many wharfrats are in the area. Sorry Bree, I've never been east of Wyoming myself. Just remember, you never have to drink or use again! "once in a while you get shone the Light in the strangest of places if you look at it right."
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15 years 3 months
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Just wondering if anyone's out there. Especially in San Diego. Again, much love to all those living their lives unaltered. Sobriety is not for the timid. How's that song go? "I need a miracle every day!" Well, each one of us IS a miracle every day we wake up SOBER. I know I am. PEACE!
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13 years 7 months
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Hiya folks!I just found this board-been doin the 30 days of the dead downloads WOO HOO! Yep-Clean is a tough road-but a worthy one...been at it for 18 1/2 years...clean date 5/15/92. Been to 99 shows, 33 loaded, 66 unloaded... So...with regard to San Diego Wharf Rats...we used to have a "WHARF RAT" specific meeting (all "A"s welcome) at the end of Felspar on da beach at the fire ring on Friday nights at midnight...but it's been a long while since I have been there... Um... Not sure it's good to post an e-mail addy in a public forum, but PM me and we can chat... Peace! Gr8ful_Dave
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13 years 7 months
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Been clean on and off since March 2003. Many relapses, I love being clean but when life starts getting good I tend to screw it up. I was very active in AA and just recently NA I love both programs but after some clean time I stop going and it doesn't take much to start up again. Been using little over a week now, stopped going to work, lying to everyone, isolating myself. You know the story. Today has been my "ween down" day. About out of everything. Have Detoxed several times using several methods. I'm ready to clean up again plan is day 1 tomorrow. Thank you deadheads that got clean before me. You have always been very supportive, hope to see you soon. Trey
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16 years 2 months
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Hey all. Been a while since I've hung out here. Lots of changes in my life these days, but still clean, just for today. I just moved to SF, and looking for local Wharf Rats. Anybody out there? Just thought I would throw out a line and see what comes back.
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15 years 3 months
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Hey tea2trey, hang in there, Dude. you've heard all this before, and some may find it boring, but go to meetings! Do the Steps! get a sponsor! I found for myself that I need to do these things if I want to stay sober, or clean, whatever. Staying clean/sober is as hard for me as getting clean/sober, I put down the chemicals and booze and I'm still JUST AS CRAZY. I have a few years now and it does get better! You have to work at it every day, though. We forget how bad it was and start thinking it's a good idea to "pick up" again. ((WRONG ANSWER)) It always gets worse. Peace and love to all who choose to live life unaltered. "Once in a while you get shone the light- In the strangest of places if you look at it right."
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15 years 8 months
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I just created a brand new Java Based Chat Room where concert-goers who have chosen to live drug and alcohol free can hang out...plan online meetings and talk about the tunes that touched our lives. Our primary purpose is to make ourselves available to anyone who feels we may have something they want. We offer support, strength, fellowship and hope. We are a group of friends sharing a common bond, providing support, information and some traction in an otherwise slippery environment. I hope to see you all there!! here is the link to the room: (Just copy and paste this into your java-enabled browser) http://host7.parachat.com/hosted/index.html?site=30201&room=The_Wharfra… "Once in a while you get shown the LIGHT, in the strangest of places, if you look at it right." - Robert Hunter One Day at a Time wharfratpat
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15 years 8 months
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Well, I will have 3 years here on March 13!!!! yay! We are expecting a baby in August and I am struggling with Grateful Dead/hippie boy names. I love Althea or Berkeley for a girl....as for boys, I do not want Dupree, Franklin, Ashbury, Jack, Jed, Jerry, Phil, Bob, Bill, Mickey, Samson, Reuben, Quinn, John, Stephen, Casey, Lesh....any ideas? I think August is too girly for real life....HELP!!!
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16 years 11 months
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You didn't nix Hunter in your list. But August is not a girly name at all: (from the Oxford dictionary) # [adjective] of or befitting a lord; "heir to a lordly fortune"; "of august lineage" Synonyms: grand, lordly # [adjective] profoundly honored; "revered holy men" Synonyms: revered, venerable ********************************** I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Wilde
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13 years 5 months
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today starts my 4th month without a beer or anything else alcoholic. Got a ways to go to match my record of 3 years, 8 months, and 10 days, but it's a start. And I thank the good Lord everyday.God bless the fans.
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13 years 3 months
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Wow!I was just kicking in 1995 when I found out about the Wharf rats. One of the new comers in my homegroup was a Deadhead, and he explained the concept to me. So far, I've been clean and sober for 15 years. I still play music. If you are in Houston, come meet me at Last Concert Cafe, for a Sunday Jam Only a few other musicians have given me guff for NOT using, but I know I sound better and enjoy it more when I'm clean. I'm not troubled by what I miss by being clean, I'm more troubled by what others miss by being messed up.
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13 years 3 months
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Hey friends - just putting some feelers out there if anyone knows about a Wharf Rat meet up scene for the Furthur shows this Spring/Summer?? I plan to hit Pittsburgh on the 30th and All Good in July. It would be great to connect with others and help to carry the message to those that might be suffering. If nothing is planned for All Good then lets pull something together?! It only takes two of us for a meeting! take it slow.
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15 years 3 months
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working on 10 days here, not doing very good tonight
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13 years 4 months
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Wharf Rat 12-28-82 Didn't check here for a while, so this may be old news. In SF check out Wharf Rats AA meeting Thursday nights. Good people and tons of sobriety. Active community/fellowship life. Was there in January. It MUST have been the Roses Bear xiv
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16 years 10 months
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I finally put together a year!!! I'm lovin' it!! Zelda
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14 years 1 month
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10 yrs today I didn't forget H-Bday...... Miracles Eternal, Shea ~When I had no wings to fly..... You, flew to me....
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13 years
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Wanted to check in, say hello and introduce my self...my name is Tim D. i'm a wharfrat from Indianapolis.