Grateful Dead

Welcome & Have a good time PEACE

welcome, Stephanie!Hope you like it here. Enjoy! Peace,Gigi

And Hozomeen, glad you made it to us.

Hey Stuman, all....thanks for the welcome..just call me Stephanie : )Sugaree is one of my favorite songs though!

the welcome mat is out for you ! welcome aboard sunshine-sugaree... glad to have you here,,... lots of folks to talk with,, just don`t let the chat room get you freaked out,, it is a very very strange place .. Peace ...

The first song I heard by the Dead was Casey Jones-I was 12. I saw my first show when I was 16 in 1986. I was hooked. For the next six or so years, I went on many tours. I still lived in Virginia but I would take off for weeks or months at a time and saw alot of shows. I had so much fun... Now, Im a mom of three, 11, 7, and 2, and I attend college online-IT major. I live in the Blue Ridge Mountains inVa.... Somewhere I have a photo album I managed to hang onto for the last twenty years...there are a few pictures from some shows in there..I'll post something when I find it again. Looking forward to chatting about some fun memories....

***you’ve got a lot of nerve to say you are my friend******while I was down you just stood there grinin*** I’m talking about me. If everyone could just join me in a surrealistic moment…I’m talking about me and me…I was down and I just stood there grinin…it’s a strange and terrible thing to be both I annexed Africa, a vast wasteland, a desert nobody cares about where I could do my thing…it’s the only thing I really do…really I guess in some stupid overanalyzed way, it gets exhausting especially when all I want to do is live my life, but my family is important and this is a puzzle I have to solve…so Bamski found me, and he pounced; the thing about it is, he was right, I was rambling, rambling about what to do next, what to do now with my life, because that is the only way I can communicate. I know eyes are rolling, but its true, it’s a real problem for me, and the truth of the matter is that I am a Dead Head…Pure and simple…but what Bamski was doing was only protecting what he loved, what was his…who was I? who was this new guy? This king of Africa? I’ve been a Dead Head for a long long time, but online? Hozomeen? Then there were all the great Heads that came to my rescue, those wonderful souls I have always flocked to, the ones I have always had a need to be around. You guys gave me some great insight into what has been going on with me my whole life. And it’s no coincidence that I am a Dead Head really. I went to see the captain…strangest I could find…I am looking for work right now. Until recently I was a sailor. My wife’s breast cancer last year wiped us out. We have a two year old. She can’t pick him up more than a couple times a day now. As a result, I can no longer sail. No matter, we moved to North Carolina three years ago so I could go to school and change careers. I have known something about myself. I have known that I needed a major change. I needed…needed…change in my life in order to live happily, correctly, without stress or worry or whatever you call it…that incredible bodily pain, bleeding stomach ulcers at 22, drug addiction, credit card debt, alcoholism, verbal abuse, falling out with friends, fights fights fights…I have been seeing this doctor, some kind of head doctor, uhmmm, I don’t know, anyway, he has been calling me ADHD and OCD for quite some time now, which has been very very good, but not all the questions have been answered, not really; which is not the point here, the point here is that I think I have found an answer, a condition called Asperger’s. It’s a form of autism. Lately I have been trying to find a job, any job, and it has been a major problem, confusing, not like before, but see now I am out of my comfort zone like never before…I have had bouts with these feelings in the past, but I have also been able to overcome them in some way or another; this time, this time I have hit a road block, and this time I can’t just hit the road. The main problem with my doctor is, he likes me, he likes who I am…this positive highly motivated guy, real go getter, goal oriented with confidence in himself…the fact is, though I may be all those things, I am hindered in a very real and specific way. He looks at me and says the same thing everyone has always said, “your fine, one of the best people I’ve every met.” That still doesn’t mean I’m not afraid. That still won’t reduce me, five foot ten, hundred eighty or so, state champ wrestler, sailor of the open seas, down to a teary pile of useless shit at the mere thought of going out and doing certain things…I can’t do them…they have to be done in certain ways or with certain devices or not at all…until now I have gone to great lengths to prove that I am some big tough guy…now I know what I am and I know what I’m not…and what I am is what I choose to be…what people see is a mask that my mind chooses because I can’t help it, it runs what amounts to a series of computer programs, and when it gets tripped up, like input it doesn’t recognize, you know, like when you say something to someone who is autistic, that wrong thing that sets them off, or when you type something wrong into your Apple IIe, you get the big fat Error message, and that is what you get with me too, in the flesh that is; on dead.net you get what is inside, cause for me, the possibly autistic me, this is my talent, this is what I do, I’ve been writing in notebooks and crap since I was I don’t know what… Marjie, my wife, and I had spent half our relationship by email until recently. We got engaged over an army telephone while I was in Kuwait after two months worth of emails. I sailed about 120 days at a shot and emailed her every day. I was infamous in the fleet. The email bandit or some shit. They kept up cause it was expensive. Inmarsat. Had I been an at home boyfriend, odds are she would have never gotten to know me. She sometimes asks me to write to her when I am at home; she sometimes says she misses me… it is no coincidence that I am a Dead Head. People like me have an aversion to getting picked on…they don’t know it is happening, and so they are prone to having it happen to them, I know I am, have been, was, and still are; he he he (sorry, I also like to crack myself up), the point is, it is kind of like an allergy to meanness; my sister’s husband has three brothers and it seems like they communicate with punches and insults…to me it is just crazy, I don’t understand it in the least, it almost hurts, it hurts to be over there, them all running around like dogs, dogs also all running around, children also all running around, and me…quiet, standing, drinking water mostly, sitting there in my head…so this allergy to meanness has drawn me to you, this crowd of zen, this crowd of people who are nice to one another as a rule and because you want to and not because your told… thank you everybody…thank you for being there…for being my family…for being zen…for continuing to be zen… thank you for the vast wasteland that is Africa…if there is anyone out there who needs to spill out some ramblings of there own, I also read read read and would be happy to read read read it…

its all lyric manIt took me this long to find this intro thingy, but hey everyone and hugs. i'm still just me lol Born in the bay area, have lived/traveled most of the continental US, someday will play golf in Ireland and guitar on the coast of Spain. Listened to the dead all my life and finally got on the bus in 84. The offspring (aka son-drumpup/the usual topic of my conversation if not music) is now experiencing his second year of college and doing quite well *proud mama smile* He's the self-proclaimed next Kevin Smith...although he looks more like Jay... and yes...i'm still an Oakland fan no matter what Shell game of coaches Al throws at me. I've ended up staying here in VB that i had just moved to when i started posting, have a kool new place three blocks from the ocean. its sweet. The golf playing architect (realtors lovers?:) and i finally figured out we really are meant to be together...as Jerry said 'there's nothing like a near death experience to change your outlook'. Its been quite a year but I just felt the need to say so many of ya'll have always been on my heart, always. peace Keep on rockin in the free world

Stu say`s thank you Marye !! I`ll be sure to post more !! sometimes the words just flow from my head, it is kinda strange sometimes,,..thanx again ! and thank everyone for the positive feedback !!! Love you all !!! Peace !!!! ............

go for it! http://www.dead.net/forum/poets-corner