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  • crypticalmystic
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    Looking for Community,Kindess, and Love
    It's been a while since I have involved myself in any type of Grateful Dead forum. A visit from a friend and a weekend of GD DVD's inspired an overwhelming urge to reconnect. I was a newbie, I started touring in 1990 and saw The Boy's off and on until Jerry's passing. I tried to hang on for Further, The Other Ones, and The Dead but as we all know....times have changed. Although I picked up from my days with the Dead an amazing path of discovery...I also picked up drug addiction. I tried to start a family, tried to make it in babylon, but I picked up opiates (pharmies) and I fell...and fell hard. Even though it is difficult...it is all part of the path...and I am better off for it. I am clean..I am sober...and I am now a Wharf Rat...never woulda thunk it! Watching those videos inspired me. I miss all of you. I... love...all of you, and I need to reconnect with my family. Sitting in this boring old town of 16000 people I realize how few of us there really are, although then I thought we were going to take over the world :). It's kinda sad that we have to rely on a cybercommunity but beggers can't be choosers. I know it's still out there...but it's alot tougher than any time in history (just ask the old schoolers what they thought of us newbies). But I absorbed something, and I live with it everyday. I wish to make some new friends here, and in particular those who understand the ramifications and consequences of drug addiction. Along with the drug addiction, I have had a string of unhealthy relationships. And I don't mean to debase this forum as simply a place to "hook up", but I am looking for that sunshine daydream that contains all of the light that the Grateful Dead personified. Drug addiction and unhealthy thinking has jaded my perception of the American woman, and I had a flash that If anyone had the kind of understanding, compassion, and light that I needed it would be a wharf rat that could restore my faith in a female. I'm a 36 year old male with a passion for philosophy and esoteric religion (throw in some conspiracy theory) who is seeking a Sugar Mag ,preferably an old schooler who saw the boys in the seventies or eighties, that would like to be my friend and/or promulagate a relationship. I also look forward to making some friends here along the way. With all Love, Light, and Laughter................Crypticalmystic
  • TennesseeTed
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    Greetings
    Checking in as I'm new to this site. I saw 13 shows back in 86-88. I got sober in 89. 20 years later, I'm on board for the DC and Charlottesville shows in April! How do I find you guys at the shows? Much love, Ted
  • mona
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    2 balloons
    thanx dancer. i havent thought of that song in years. saw jerrry joseph here in portland yrs ago.theres another song that hits close too. need to get that CD again. talk about a god shot!
  • spindancer
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    two balloons
    I find the conversation here inspiring. As one who lost some friends along the way, and knowing many on this forum had their own brushes, I thought I would post the lyrics to a favorite Jerry Joseph tune - a kind of reminder and tribute to our journey: I got two balloons - a red one and a white one well, I found them underneath somebody's tongue Two balloons - a means to find my courage well, it's easier and cleaner than a gun I lie to you - and everybody else I know I'm embarrassed to acknowledge I am well And I fear the truth - and lie at every meeting it's important to impress you with the chill - with the chill If I could give you any gift I'd give you strength and comfort in your eyes But I left my higher power and I did not have the nerve to say goodbye - say goodbye If I could fly I'd make like a coyote well, I'd try to shake the shame like it's a trap Afraid to die - while killing myself slowly it means paying less attention to the map - to the map Girl, I'd love to tell you something but I haven't got the words you wanna hear so I sit here with my balloons - a painless way to kill a couple years - a couple years And I will try to cool my head and calm my heart Well, I know that it will kill me but I hope that I can own it in the end til then I'll be proud and happy to consider my balloons my only friends - only friends I got two balloons - a red one and a white one well, I found them underneath somebody's tongue Two balloons - a means to find my courage cuz it's easier and cleaner than a gun I got two balloons... -Jerry Joseph on "Love and Happiness" (lyrics might be a little off, but close - this is the way I play it these days, anyway)
  • matty75hartford
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    anyone sober for hartford in april?
    Started touring in '88 had good times, been sober since 12/26/07 i needed that miracle! now with tour coming I'm really afraid, want to go soooo bad but can't jeapordize my second chance at life- matty
  • dancingblondiebear
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    springtour
    hi yallis anyone going to be manning table? if you're interested in a glitter supply, let me know. peace, blondie
  • mona
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    wharfrat in portland
    newbie to net and having hard time contacting info on web site. anybody could PM me info for NW rats, newsletter chats, online of f2 meetings would be great! see u at shoreline!
  • mona
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    freinds of the wharf rats
    m.barcadero that is one of the funniest stories ive heard in a long time! my first show me and ex tripping around and saw a big circle at the concert. dude stood up and said hi my name is.... and i havent done..........for 6 mo. we looked at each other and exclaimed dead AA??? of corse now i know all about. :)
  • hippiechickmom
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    hey guys!!!
    Well, I did my second lead last night...it was grate!!! Looking soooo forward to April. Anywayz, grate to meet u 2 UL, I think I fixed my pm, will u try again 2 c if it works...Peace, love, n sobriety!!! ttyl-gratefully-hcm
  • uncle lefty
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    Acoustic and HCM
    Hey acoustic ,Awesome, If you do the PHISH thing ,look for the PHELLOWSHIP! Widespread-GATEWAY, MOE -Happy Hour Heroes, Disco Biscuts-Digital Buddas, Yonder-Velcro Kangaroos.Many of us out there with a common goal -To attend shows Clean and sober and provide traction in a slippery environment, ONE SHOW AT TIME! HCM ,it was grate to meet you and yours last night!Your PM SAYS NOT ACCEPTING PM so I couldn' t respond there to yours.Peace, Love and Recovery lefty
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Welcome, Wharf-Rats.
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For those of you who have the full-legth vid of Alpine, '89 ...3rd show -- I'm the guy with the faded bells, perma-fried hairdo and the long-sleeved blue and white striped mork-from-ork shirt who didn't realize what a sun ticket was and wandered back to his perch just out of the rain. Had been jamming the Dream song by Ministry. Blue's for Al Lah. Iechyd da, wasalaam. C*
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14 years 8 months
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in and out of opiate addiction for 20 years, doc put me on Suboxone and my life is changing.Starting to feel good in my own skin and rack up some clean time (4 months) going to meetings and changing those people places and things! Looking for any Oklahoma heads that are serious about staying clean and swapping bootlegs....
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I used to see the meetings going during intermission, and it always brought a sense of normalcy and purpose beyond what I would see away from the stage. I loved the music, but didnt care that much,was rather terrified really of the drug-alchohol inspired serenity that I was witnessing,. Wasn't sure I fit in, but seeing you guys always reminded me that the dead were about the music and not just a party- the community was much more than far away eyes and tantric twirling, By my 20th show I stopped hanging in the lots and went straight to the line. I think you guys helped me see that, so thanks!
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15 years 2 months
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My sweetie Greg and I are flying up tomorrow from Long Beach for this show [a birthday present for Greg]. Forgive me if I start to sound geeky, please. I went to my first show last May in LA and I was in an ethereal bliss for weeks. The Wharf Rats meeting at the break was amazing, happy, joyous, and free. We were talking this morning and were wondering about giving service to help set up the WR table or any other way we could be maximally useful to HP and our fellow WRs. If someone knows who we might contact, could you please e-mail me at nmccarthymd@earthlink.net ? I'm already levitating from excitement and I'm still at work. Cheers, Nancy 9/24/2002 me 10/31/01 Greg "Today we're going to teach poodles to fly."-Raul Hernandez, UHF
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15 years 6 months
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Hey Where you guys at in Los Angeles...Is Chef Larry around ? I emailed him, he never responded to me... Peace, Love & Blessings Tangled Up In Blue...Sharona
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16 years 5 months
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all is well i will be 6 months clean and sober on the 2nd in like 2 days minis one slip of pot one month ago relized i didnt like it anymore and went on with my life keep in touch family one love!!!Teddy Dave Says!!!
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15 years 8 months
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just thought i would chime in.... My name is Patrick and I am an alcoholic and addict. I have been clean and sober since May 20th 2007 with the help of the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps, and my higher power who i call God. I'm an definitely not a first-niter to this. I have been struggling to stay clean and sober for close to 20 years now. I have been to numerous rehabilitation centers, detoxes and programs in the hopes to get help. They never failed me for they all gave me the tools and the resources to help me, BUT either i wasn't ready, wasn't willing to put the needed effort into MY OWN recovery or i was doing it for the wrong reason or for someone else (mostly pressures from my family) My addictions have taken me to many dark places in my life; selling my plasma (blood) for alcohol, homelessness (pushing my entire belongings in a baby-cart until the wheels fell of at the bottom Haight street) stealing from my family, lying so much that I actually started to believe my own pathetic lies. I literally lost my identity. My family didn't even know me anymore. I was just a shell of a person that I used to be. Alcohol and drugs were no longer a form of recreation for me anymore like they used to be in my early youthful days growing up in the parking lots at the shows, but it was a slow form of suicide. Today i live my life one day at a time. I put the principles of the 12 steps into ACTION today. I have a sponsor, a home group I attend regularly. I have a wonderful life now, a loving wife and step kids, and two cats and a dog. I lost my job last year, and now i have an even better job helping people who are mostly terminally ill with cancer. here is the link to a temp wharfrat meeting room: http://www.everywherechat.com/chatnow.php?defaultRoom=The_Wharfrat_Meet…
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I'm not an alcoholic or recovering drug addict, but I want to honor all Wharf Rats or anyone struggling to live a healthier life. I've done my share of recreational drugs, and had to tear myself away a couple of times from unhealthy scenes and friends, so I understand how hard it must be to attend shows. I do have a beer or two at a show, and will smoke a little, so I'm not saying it's all bad, just when done so much your brain can't hear the layers of meaning in the music's lyrics. I feel our community and family centered around the GD and now Furthur, is at a crossroads. I see four generations at shows, each with a slightly different tradition and idea of what it's all about. From the first generation onward it was accepted and understood that drug use was a part of the scene. My personal understanding is that drug use as it pertains to the Dead's music had a personally transformative and transcending nature. I'm not seeing much of that idea to the forefront anymore, hopefully it's still there but overwhelmed by the hard partyers. Too much I see young folks getting wasted almost as a prerequisite to enjoying the show, or thinking themselves as part of the community. Too much do I see gratuitous drinking of alcohol (a depressant) and incessant smoking of pot (one hit should get you that good mental high). I don't think it's good for anyone to drink, smoke and take drugs like I see at shows, and it's definitely not good for the continuation of our community. Maybe these same folks are drinking and smoking a lot all the time. Whatever the case may be, I'd like to just say that I wish there was an official recognition of the Wharf Rats within us, and that there was a movement of moderation at shows. Phil does his donor rap, and we all love that. What if at every show someone plugged moderation? Just something like "hey, you don't don't have to get wasted to be with us". And if not that, how about a booth, or wharf rat t-shirts to help balance the message of drugs. After all, who would deny that drugs took Jerry down. Wouldn't that be message enough?
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"Who would deny that drugs took Jerry down. Wouldn't that be message enough?" Brent and Pigpen and Keith too. I support all Wharf Rats, especially the ones who appreciate how much more they can hear and remember of the music. There are a lot of people who went to spectacular shows but can't remember a thing. Hang in there, you'll sweat it out.
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Just checking in with y'all. I'm going to the show in ME. and I'm looking forward to meeting everyone I can. Ya just never know what kind of fun, your gonna have :) peace people and smile :)
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15 years 8 months
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be kind to your mind_bill grahm -
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Hi Gang - I am a "seasoned" woman attending the 3 RR shows, solo, travelling from AZ (by way of SB and LA, where I am meeting up with friends). Wondered if there are any women wharfrats with some sobriety out there who might be interested in sharing rented accomodation (motel, etc) in Colorado (non-smoking is critical!)? Could share driving in the area, catch some meetings, whatever? Always nice to save money! If interested, please send a private message - I am hoping to book something soon! Thanks! - Kym
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Havent checked in in a while...went to Further on July 2 in Columbus-awesome!!!Hope everyone out there is happy, sober, and happy to be sober!!! Love n Light-hcm
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Thought you might enjoy this speaker mtg/dance: Event: Grateful (we aren't) Dead - The Hippie Experience Date: Sat. July 31st Details: Speaker 8:00 (Roy B.) Dance 9:15-Midnight Costume Contest 50/50 Raffle Location: First United Methodist Church 15 East 1st Avenue (1st Ave and Center) Downtown Mesa Contact info: Roy D 480-773-5543
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13 years 10 months
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hey now. hope you're all enjoying a great summer tour. i know i have been. it could be a lot better, though...which is why i need someone to talk to. i was in program and a w.w. for about 10 years (that was 21 years ago). moved away and when i came back i thought i was fine. started seeing shows again with my best bud for 20+ years. it started to become really clear that we were headed down a dangerous road last year. but it has become intolerable as of last night at the nokia show. we went to dinner first and had a few beers. then at the show a few more, a puff or two, and we were set. then my friend tried to coerce me in to taking a sip of whiskey. i said no way but he kept insisting, and it wasn't a joke or at all funny. it bothered me a lot that he would not stop, to the point where he just carried too far, and then some. it became a power of the wills, but i won this one. i do not want to go down that road again... i may not have been the worst drunk or pothead in the world, but my history shows that i can easily get carried away (at one point i.v. + pills + booze). i was sad to see my friend (who i met in program) so wasted, and myself on the verge. if any kind sister out there is willing to be of support, it would be gratefully accepted. thanks so much.
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you are right, of course. and i have the fortitude and capacity to display these innate strengths. i know that i need to take care of myself first, and by doing so be a power of example. i have made some deep inquiry into the situation and at this point have decided that i do not wish to participate in the current behavior cycle. live the Truth, and only Truth will manifest. Namaste
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16 years 10 months
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Still struggling to stay clean. Coming up on six months again. Played at a jam session tonight. I play the harmonica, it was awesome, we had so much fun. Being clean feels good most days but sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing for the right reasons. I wonder if I latched on to recovery because I had a hard time connecting with new people when I got back up here to Seattle, and the people that I know are clean have always treated me with love and kindness. I guess that's a good enough reason in the begining. To say nothing of the unmanagability of my life when I use. But anyway, I'm going to start doing sweats and hopefuly the spirit will heal me. I know that it is a process, but I would like to feel the rewards sooner rather than later. Working on my character defects presently and believe me, looking honestly at myself isn't easy. There is a pattern and a cycle of self sabatoge that manifests as character defects. We'll see. Maybe when I'm entirely ready to have the spirit remove my defects of character and I work honestly and diligently on them, each day, I will be blessed with some relief from the torment they have on my life. Maybe.Zelda
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Six months is a long time stay strong i lived that cycle for years recovery then always found an excuse too relapse.Dont talk yourself into it.Stay strong sage. Peace and love too you.
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Controlled sweats and gentle herbs to leech toxins from vital organs as well as regular routine of yoga to also squeeze the toxins out is great recipe. You have to want it. Best wishes!
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15 years 3 months
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The Grateful Dead and The Deadheads saved my life with music,brotherhood and peace at a bad time in my life and I have never forgotten that. Man Iam sure glad they found me ! I once had two good eyes and still could not see ! I have been clean and sobber for over two years now and count myself as a wharf rat. Seen alot of shows and still catching them when I can. A great blessing in my life has been my sugar magnolia and she blessed me with twin girls. They are now three years old now and love music also. My wife let me name one of the girls and I gave her the name Cassidy and her sister's name is Sophia. Peace to All !
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13 years 10 months
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Good for you man!!! much love to you and your family Peace!!!!!! What you are is what your meant to be.
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13 years 10 months
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I dont really have a problem staying clean its been 16 years now relapse is not an option.I struggle with myself, my feelings think its a self worth thing constantly questioning myself and my actions. Cant get used to this 9 till 5 conformed lifestyle maybe thats what it is who knows.Guess what im saying is its a constant struggle this recovery thing it just gets easier as time moves on much love all what a long strange trip its been.
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15 years 3 months
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Hello and much love to all of those living their lives unaltered by chemicals! If you're like me, this way of life isn't "natural" (pun intended) and it requires a LOT of diligence and effort. Keep at it, the rewards are beyond measure. I was seven years sober before I caught on to what the Dead are/were about. Leave the chemicals behind. This music is really about transcending this mortal coil for those few precious moments to catch a glimpse of the spirit that exists inside us all. This may sound "mushy" to some, but isn't THAT the reason we used chemicals in the first place?? "Once in a while you get shone the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right."
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15 years 3 months
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Hello everyone :). My names Bree and I was just wondering if anyone knows if there is any Wharf Rat meetings in Michigan or a website I can get a list of meetings at? It would be much appreciated thanks! Take it Easy
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13 years 10 months
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Im in the uk so cant help with the meetings thing sorry,i been clean 17 years so if ya wanna talk,or ican help with anything let me know.Peace sister!!!!!
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15 years 3 months
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My name's Tony and I'm wondering if there's any wharfrat meetings in San Diego, CA. I go to lots of regular meetings, I'm just curious about how many wharfrats are in the area. Sorry Bree, I've never been east of Wyoming myself. Just remember, you never have to drink or use again! "once in a while you get shone the Light in the strangest of places if you look at it right."
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15 years 3 months
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Just wondering if anyone's out there. Especially in San Diego. Again, much love to all those living their lives unaltered. Sobriety is not for the timid. How's that song go? "I need a miracle every day!" Well, each one of us IS a miracle every day we wake up SOBER. I know I am. PEACE!
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13 years 7 months
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Hiya folks!I just found this board-been doin the 30 days of the dead downloads WOO HOO! Yep-Clean is a tough road-but a worthy one...been at it for 18 1/2 years...clean date 5/15/92. Been to 99 shows, 33 loaded, 66 unloaded... So...with regard to San Diego Wharf Rats...we used to have a "WHARF RAT" specific meeting (all "A"s welcome) at the end of Felspar on da beach at the fire ring on Friday nights at midnight...but it's been a long while since I have been there... Um... Not sure it's good to post an e-mail addy in a public forum, but PM me and we can chat... Peace! Gr8ful_Dave
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13 years 7 months
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Been clean on and off since March 2003. Many relapses, I love being clean but when life starts getting good I tend to screw it up. I was very active in AA and just recently NA I love both programs but after some clean time I stop going and it doesn't take much to start up again. Been using little over a week now, stopped going to work, lying to everyone, isolating myself. You know the story. Today has been my "ween down" day. About out of everything. Have Detoxed several times using several methods. I'm ready to clean up again plan is day 1 tomorrow. Thank you deadheads that got clean before me. You have always been very supportive, hope to see you soon. Trey
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16 years 1 month
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Hey all. Been a while since I've hung out here. Lots of changes in my life these days, but still clean, just for today. I just moved to SF, and looking for local Wharf Rats. Anybody out there? Just thought I would throw out a line and see what comes back.
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15 years 3 months
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Hey tea2trey, hang in there, Dude. you've heard all this before, and some may find it boring, but go to meetings! Do the Steps! get a sponsor! I found for myself that I need to do these things if I want to stay sober, or clean, whatever. Staying clean/sober is as hard for me as getting clean/sober, I put down the chemicals and booze and I'm still JUST AS CRAZY. I have a few years now and it does get better! You have to work at it every day, though. We forget how bad it was and start thinking it's a good idea to "pick up" again. ((WRONG ANSWER)) It always gets worse. Peace and love to all who choose to live life unaltered. "Once in a while you get shone the light- In the strangest of places if you look at it right."
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15 years 8 months
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I just created a brand new Java Based Chat Room where concert-goers who have chosen to live drug and alcohol free can hang out...plan online meetings and talk about the tunes that touched our lives. Our primary purpose is to make ourselves available to anyone who feels we may have something they want. We offer support, strength, fellowship and hope. We are a group of friends sharing a common bond, providing support, information and some traction in an otherwise slippery environment. I hope to see you all there!! here is the link to the room: (Just copy and paste this into your java-enabled browser) http://host7.parachat.com/hosted/index.html?site=30201&room=The_Wharfra… "Once in a while you get shown the LIGHT, in the strangest of places, if you look at it right." - Robert Hunter One Day at a Time wharfratpat
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15 years 8 months
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Well, I will have 3 years here on March 13!!!! yay! We are expecting a baby in August and I am struggling with Grateful Dead/hippie boy names. I love Althea or Berkeley for a girl....as for boys, I do not want Dupree, Franklin, Ashbury, Jack, Jed, Jerry, Phil, Bob, Bill, Mickey, Samson, Reuben, Quinn, John, Stephen, Casey, Lesh....any ideas? I think August is too girly for real life....HELP!!!
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16 years 11 months
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You didn't nix Hunter in your list. But August is not a girly name at all: (from the Oxford dictionary) # [adjective] of or befitting a lord; "heir to a lordly fortune"; "of august lineage" Synonyms: grand, lordly # [adjective] profoundly honored; "revered holy men" Synonyms: revered, venerable ********************************** I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Wilde
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13 years 5 months
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today starts my 4th month without a beer or anything else alcoholic. Got a ways to go to match my record of 3 years, 8 months, and 10 days, but it's a start. And I thank the good Lord everyday.God bless the fans.
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13 years 3 months
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Wow!I was just kicking in 1995 when I found out about the Wharf rats. One of the new comers in my homegroup was a Deadhead, and he explained the concept to me. So far, I've been clean and sober for 15 years. I still play music. If you are in Houston, come meet me at Last Concert Cafe, for a Sunday Jam Only a few other musicians have given me guff for NOT using, but I know I sound better and enjoy it more when I'm clean. I'm not troubled by what I miss by being clean, I'm more troubled by what others miss by being messed up.
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13 years 3 months
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Hey friends - just putting some feelers out there if anyone knows about a Wharf Rat meet up scene for the Furthur shows this Spring/Summer?? I plan to hit Pittsburgh on the 30th and All Good in July. It would be great to connect with others and help to carry the message to those that might be suffering. If nothing is planned for All Good then lets pull something together?! It only takes two of us for a meeting! take it slow.
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15 years 3 months
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working on 10 days here, not doing very good tonight
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13 years 3 months
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Wharf Rat 12-28-82 Didn't check here for a while, so this may be old news. In SF check out Wharf Rats AA meeting Thursday nights. Good people and tons of sobriety. Active community/fellowship life. Was there in January. It MUST have been the Roses Bear xiv
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16 years 10 months
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I finally put together a year!!! I'm lovin' it!! Zelda
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14 years 1 month
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10 yrs today I didn't forget H-Bday...... Miracles Eternal, Shea ~When I had no wings to fly..... You, flew to me....
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13 years
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Wanted to check in, say hello and introduce my self...my name is Tim D. i'm a wharfrat from Indianapolis.