Grateful Dead

The US Republican Primaries cast of clowns is a very good joke alright! Or extremely sad and pitiful, depending on how you look at it.

I try to not react to spam, but a couple of today's entries in the slow motion annoyathon just made me laugh. A lot. Macro$loth Office for your ipod? Makes about as much sense as milking a cow with a sledgehammer. Certainly qualifies as comic relief for me...

They're always new users. It would be funny if they had real security around here. Now that would be comic relief to me! It is also kind of funny how they don't seem to care that they make deadicated users have to wade through this crap. I'm only laughing 'cause it's Friday.

Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense. "You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?" The client replied that he did. Then lawyer then asked, "Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?" The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win."

Should I choose: Dewey, Cheetham & Howe or Wringher, Fleacehim & Tick?

First you dig a big hole in the ground. Fill the hole with ashes. Cover the hole with branches and leaves to disguise it. Sprinkle some peas across the top. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole. Told to me by my then-8-yr-old nephew, many years ago. For some reason, it's the only joke that I can ever remember.

the one about the guy that got totally naked, wrapped himself in saran wrap, and went to see the doctor?? Doctor, what's wrong with me?? Well - I can clearly see your nuts!

It Ain't Hard.

So, a pirate walks into a bar. Looks like the quintessential pirate -- peg leg, hook on one hand, eye patch, the whole nine yards. In addition to all this, he's got a steering wheel hanging from the fly of his pants. He walks up to the bar, and orders a whiskey. The bartender pours the pirate a glass, and says to him "I don't want to offend, but I thought you should know -- you've got a steering wheel attached to your fly." The pirate nods his head, and says: "Arrrgh, I know. And it's driving me nuts."

What did one saggy boob say to the other ? If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts !

The Past, the Present and the Future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Man speaking to his shrink, says "I don't know what's wrong with me. Some days I feel like a wigwam, some days I feel like a teepee." Shrink: "Obviously, sir, you're two tents!"

What happen when Rita Marley got a cold? There was boogie on reggae woman

I used your jokes at my guitar recital this afternoon and they went over well with the audience. They were perfect for today. I thought the punchline for the 'tense' joke worked great before the Bach. Later, I asked the audience if they wanted to hear another 'tense/tents' joke and I used the tepee one. It really helped to disarm the audience and to settle my nerves as well. Thanks again.

Solipsism Warning: The consumer should be aware that he or she may be the only entity in the universe, and therefore that any perceived defects in product quality are the consumer's own fault. Determinism Safety Advisory: Every citizen be advised that despite the possibility that his or her acts are all entirely predetermined by the blind mechanical nature of the universe and are therefore unavoidable and inescapable, he or she will still incur a legal responsibility and liability for any torts, violations, misdemeanors, or felonies he or she commits.

I thought this was funny... http://thoughtsonthedead.wordpress.com/

I made a goofy little 7-frame Comic Strip of the GD (1967 cast), and if anyone can tell me how to post pictures here, I would post it. :)

a cowboy appeared before st. peter at the pearly gates'have you done anything of particular merit in the life you were given?' asked st. peter 'well, i can think of one thing', the cowboy offered 'on a trip to the black hills out in south dakota, i came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. i stopped and told them to leave her alone but they wouldn't listen. so i approached the largest, most tattooed biker and kicked over his bike, punched him in the face, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground. then i yelled, 'now back off or i'll kick the shit out of all of you!' st. peter was impressed and asked, 'when did all of this take place?' 'couple of minutes ago'............ :D

how do you know you're staying at a redneck motel?when you call the front desk and say "i gotta leak in my sink"", and the clerk replies....... "go ahead" **sorry if you're thinking about this the next time you're brushing your teeth over a motel sink ;-}

Q: What do you call a camel with no humps?A: Humphrey.