• 640 replies
    marye
    Joined:
    Since the original topic now has hundreds of introductions and is getting a bit hard to navigate, this seems as good a time as any to launch a new one. The original is here, should you wish to catch up on the who's who since this opened up in May. If you haven't introduced yourself yet, please do! And if you already have, but have something new to tell us about you and your life, speak up! (A bit of housekeeping business so we don't have to repost everything we posted before--izzie and I are the moderators here, and for our more extensive intros see the original topic.) Thanks and welcome!

Comments

sort by
Recent
Reset
  • uncle_tripel
    Joined:
    JPRUNEPROSPECTOR

    welcome aboard! hope you will enjoy the ride!

  • jpruneprospector
    Joined:
    Hello All!

    Hi all. First post. Recently decided to join the greater Deadhead community after years of being a closeted Deadhead. Actually came to The Dead via The Jerry Garcia Band, so kind of backwards.

  • James Hall
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    New from Ky!

    Hey all, just joined the forum. I'm new to the Dead,(i know) Just recently picked up the bass, and really got into Phil's playing. Glad to be here.

  • derzell
    Joined:
    Many Thanks!!

    Dave and Marye, thanks for welcoming me aboard. I can truly say that in this crazy world, I feel like I have found my "forever home" here. I moved from a big town to a little one for work and can't say there are many like-minded folk in this land of sparse population, so it is really comforting knowing I have my buddies right here :)

    As for as the puppy, thanks for the concern and kind words Dave. Lymphoma is kinda scary in dogs I've found out. But my little fur ball is started up on prednisone and has his puppy energy back!! Just one of those things where he's gonna keep rocking until he can't and more than likely he will lay down for a nap and just drift away. Which when you think about it, I know that I would definitely want to go that way if I had a choice.

    I will need to check out that thread! Any others I should look into? I am eager to join the party! I do love storytelling and digging into music theory!

    Much love to you both and thank you again, from the bottom of my heart!

    -AZ

  • DaveStrang
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    DERZELL

    Welcome aboard the Bus! You may want to try posting on the Ala Carte DP42 thread also.

    I'm sorry to hear of your beloved dog...

  • marye
    Joined:
    hey now
    Nice to see you here, make yourself at home!
  • derzell
    Joined:
    Thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart.

    I understand this thread is half-dead, but I need to let you guys know how much you (yes, you) mean to me. How's everyone doing? I'm Alex and this is not my first post (oops!). But I am so happy to be here. I am in the midst of losing my dog who is the light of my world and the DeadHead family has made me feel at peace. I know this is my introduction but I already have so much thanks to give!! I have been a DeadHead for the better part of my life, living adjacent to the middle of nowhere. So I have always been the black sheep of the friend group listening to this hippie drone music. I called in to Tales from the Golden Road right before Tucker's (my dog) diagnosis with Lymphoma, nervous as all get out about my first Dead & Co show for my birthday here in a few weeks, and as soon as I was connected with Dave and Gary, all anxiety melted away, it didn't matter how many listeners I was on the air with, I truly felt like I was just shooting the shit with some old friends. I felt at home. And now more than ever, I need a little home. And each and every one of you make me feel at home in this strange world. As I make my entrance, I already am feeling beyond welcomed.. So thank you. A lot.

  • billcrps32
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    hello i am Billy Cyprus how…

    hello i am Billy Cyprus how are you?

  • jaddley2
    Joined:
    Hey now!New to the site. Kind souls connect with me!

    I'm 44 and was blessed to start seeing The Grateful Dead when I was just 12! Rich Stadium in Buffalo. Hit mostly all the East Coast shows until 96' and then our lives changed for sure. Went to Penn State University and I am a social worker. My son is almost through high school and then I'm looking for adventure! I am not sure where what or with whom? Auroraville, Peace Corp, meet the man who rocks my world??

  • Abaddon
    Joined:
    The Sad, Broken Legacy of a Great Band (tl;dr?)

    Hello Bob, Phil, Bill and Mickey…..

    I can probably state this is my first and last post as I’m done. I registered to put this one post up. I wouldn’t be surprised if the moderators didn’t look kindly on the following “appraisal” which I will now explain:

    I was still in the final years of school when Europe ’72 came out which puts me a generation behind the initial Dead fan base. In recent years I have become totally obsessed by the Dead, and the culture that surrounded the band. (Notice I said “surrounded”, as in past tense?)

    On July 4 2021 (I am not from the USA) I ordered the DVD digipak with bonus disc of Long Strange Trip from the Dead.Net Store.

    This is what happened next (copied from my communications with the Store with contact details redacted):

    My Initial Request:

    This 3 DVD digipack of Long Strange Trip has Disc 2 marked "Bonus Content" and does not have the second half of the documentary on it as stated on packaging. The bonus content is the same as that on Disc 3 which is supposed to be the bonus content for this 3 DVD set. Also Disc 1 which does have the first half of the documentary on it does not have a Dolby 2.0 audio option as stated on the packaging. It is questionable whether any of these discs are the one supposed to be packed in this version of the release. After the time and expense of getting the shipped from the Grateful Dead source this is extremely disappointing.

    Where we are at now:
    The replacement copy just sent has the same problem of discs mislabeled and packaged. It must be from the same print run as the first copy I received. Disc 2 is again bonus content NOT the second half of the documentary.

    Please... I'm begging you. I ordered this July 4 and I still haven't gotten the full movie. I'll buy a Region Free Bluray copy. Just send me an invoice for the difference in price. Whatever.... please.

    NOW:
    I'VE JUST RECEIVED A THIRD COPY OF STRANGE TRIP AND YOU'VE DONE THE SAME THING AGAIN. YOU DIDN'T CHECK THE DISCS AND HAVE SENT A COPY THAT DOES NOT HAVE DISC 2 OF THE MOVIE. THIS IS THE THIRD TIME; YOU HAVE RIPPED ME OFF.

    There you have it.

    So this is Grateful Dead 2021; just another commercial juggernaut that wants to extract money from people by selling clothes, pet accessories, garden accessories (or whatever!). Another cash machine that cares nothing about the only thing about the band that matters and what is truly real about Grateful Dead.

    But hey! When it comes to delivering the sound and vision which is the history and legacy of a great band this is what you get.

    Oh! Commercialism! It can’t be!

    Well take a good look at eBay. The egregious amount of profiteering there is disgusting to the point of being abjectly blinding. The CD warehouses will get copies of Get Shown the Light, but they sell out in a day or two and will be resold at triple the price.

    I’ve got some seriously rare Dead CD’s and they are now worth a small fortune. After what I have experienced with the Store I am so disgusted and, more to the point disappointed, that I am seriously thinking of “getting my chips cashed in” (remember that old chestnut I just paraphrased?) and eBaying my whole collection.

    You can’t say there ain’t a buck to be made out of the good ‘ol Grateful Dead!

    It’s so sad to see the band’s unique contributions, their legacy, being torn up in this way.

    There’s a general tenet of art theory that states that art is but a reflection of society. I have been fascinated by the fact that the Dead weren’t a band, but more of a “scene”; a family, a society, if you will.

    Garcia used to talk about evolving humanity, the society, through psychedelics, art, music, culture etc. Well society and humanity, the truth is:

    Welcome to capitalism.

    It’s just as well “faith” is but a word and, therefore, counts for very little. (As I’m sure is the case with my words written in this post).

    Peace out.

    Goodbye.

    __________________________________________________________________

    Addendum:

    I was going to make the above post my first and last post until, upon registering for these forums, this email arrived:

    Hey there Grateful Dead Fan,
    We’re so glad you got on the bus! You’re in for a mighty fine time.
    As a subscriber to Dead.net, you’ll be the first to know about the Grateful Dead’s exclusive limited-edition releases, breaking news on the band, community events, and so much more. It’s all happenin’!
    We’d like to thank you kindly with 10% off* your next order. Simply use this coupon code at checkout:

    Oh, wow! Thank you master! This wage-slave is so uplifted by your magnanimous offer! Thank you so much for extending the cosmic joke you have played upon me, and more fool me!

    Talk about adding insult to injury.........

    I think I’ll pass, as ten percent of nothing, which is what your organisation has given me, is nothing.

    How about giving me back ten percent of the purchase cost of the flawed and incorrectly packaged item that I spent money on in July? I would be happy with ten percent of what your organisation has defrauded me.

    Now I’m done.

user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Forums
Since the original topic now has hundreds of introductions and is getting a bit hard to navigate, this seems as good a time as any to launch a new one. The original is here, should you wish to catch up on the who's who since this opened up in May. If you haven't introduced yourself yet, please do! And if you already have, but have something new to tell us about you and your life, speak up! (A bit of housekeeping business so we don't have to repost everything we posted before--izzie and I are the moderators here, and for our more extensive intros see the original topic.) Thanks and welcome!
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Yup we got the green pickle well hidden on our x-mas tree. An odd tradition, but there it is.Hello all, just want to introduce myself: Chuck Bimba, once an active DNC poster, but caught the electronica bug a few years back and wandered off. Been digging out my old tapes recently and falling in love with the music all over again. Nice to see that Bobby and Phil and everyone are still pretty active. Nice also to see the heads are still active and supportive. I am looking forward to getting some updated music from Phil and Friends, Ratdog, Hot Tuna and others, to hear how the music is progressing. I do miss the sounds and the people who make going to hear this music so rewarding. Hope to get out and about again this year and see for myself how its going. Peace/Respect Chuck Bimba
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

Welcome Chuck!! Glad to hear you have a pickle too :)
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Hi, im what i guess you could call the next generation of deadhead. its possible i was born in the wrong time because the music and culture of my peers doesnt really do it for me. you guys have no idea how lucky u are to have been around during the golden days, these days we have to make do with old albums and the odd wanna-be woodstock knock off concert. P.L.U.R *Peace*Love*Unity*Respect* signed, a lost soul
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

Welcome DeadHeadBornNBred. You don't have to make do with old albums anymore.There is the spirit of the Grateful Dead Music in the air,a place where millions of us can unite as one. It is live music incorporating the endless creativity that flows and allows us to feel free. It is a recent miracle called the Grateful Dead channel on Sirius satellite radio, channel 32. It is an endless joy for me to know that those who didn't experience this music the first time around can hear it now. I have been to many hundreds of shows and my 25 year partner was a taper with literally hundreds of tapes, and they play stuff on that channel that neither one of us have heard before. Absolutely amazing! Peace and Love
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Hello everyone my first show was in 1980 I think alpine valley no popular creek the band arrived in helicopters pretty cool
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Hi i'm Rina a 28 a deadhead from upstate N.Y. Born in 79 to a beatles lovin' mom and a biker dad. The dead found me at age 16, my then boyfriend got me american beauty for my birthday i fell in love with both(btw i married that man). The collection began... pounds of bootlegs tapes gave way to all studio i could find..JGB,live shows, then omg dick!! love those dicks picks!!! , Jerry did something for me, i was an angry person(not sure why) his voice,thier words,the dead took that anger from me and gave me much more. when it's all said and done i always remember those wise words Don't waste your breath to save your face When you have done your best And even more is asked of you Fate will decide the rest
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

Rina, always nice to have new heads on board! Peace :) and enjoy the site!!
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Always room for more dogs on this bus! Those are my two, Rex and Callie, in the photo. We're all much older now, but still together.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Rina
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Callie's a dalmatian and deaf. Rex is a lab/border collie mix, which I would seek out again in future dogs. I love them greatly. Callie is 10 now (and just yesterday I was asked at the dogpark if the dalmatian puppy was mine...) and Rex 13. Feel free to post about Lucy in the Your Faithful Friends topic, which is a little quiet lately.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

I'm sixth grader who has divorced parents, my mom lives in VA (where I'm typing from in my room) and my dad who's in maryland (dont know the abreviation) from which I wont have acces here from. (the wicked step mother doesnt let me go on forums) Yeah, I'm a dead head, not hard core though. I only know 11 out of the 100 something songs they have...but they are the BEST songs in the world. Yeah, I was reading the first page of this and my situation is kinda like dylan's, but I'm not in a boarding school (thank god). I grew up on all the awsome bands/singers. I have a few dead shirts too...my favorite is the one with the bears dancing around in a spiral, my mom gave it to me. I just started playing acoustic guitar about a month ago and was looking for Grateful dead song tutorials for guitar beginers on youtube, when I found Jdark's touch of grey thing, it was way to hard and I went to his site, and then one thing lead to another and here I am. I'm not very good at it yet, I only know enough notes to count on my fingers. Like my username suggests, I love right angles and love math. I'm in a two year accelerated math class and I look forward to period 5 every day. I'm still gonna be lurking on this forum for a little while, so I can get the hang of things around here. And, if anyone has heard about webkinz, an online game, I'm an addict. They are these little stuffed animals that come with codes that you enter on the site, www.webkinz.com , to play fun games. I only get them for the games, though. The first dead song I ever heard was on 98.7 WMZQ (country station) and was friend of the devil. I'd say my favorite song is either Operator or Ripple. I'm glad I came here because this site looks great, and so do the users! Well, I gotta jump in the shower and then it's off to bed for me, but I'll be here tomorow!
user picture

Member for

17 years
Permalink

Welcome !! My daughter Cassidy is totally into Webkinz too. If you don't take care of them daily, they won't make it. I hope my children feel the way you do when they're your age. Listen to some Groovy music & take it easy. My kids LOVE Truckin & of course Cassidy!! PEACE Leanne
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

I have a boy in 6th grade, he is a math whiz too! He's not much of a GD fan though,he likes Beatles, and stuff like AC/DC, Van Halen etc.... rock on little man... The music never stopped Peace, Gigi
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Welcome! You should check out the tapers section if you already havn't,i'm new and have already enjoyed many hours there:) I love seeing kids in tye dyes! makes the day brighter.
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

welcome! I think you might be our youngest so far. Glad to have you with us.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 10 months
Permalink

When I was in 6th grade it seemed like all of the kids listened to the dead, no doubt because of our righteous parents! Welcome aboard dude. I havn't been here that long either but I feel right at home. Stay cool little brother.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Hey all, I started posting on the original DeadNet Central back in 1997. A huge advocate for the Audience recording, I did everything I could to transfer old AUD masters into digital formats - sharing seeds of AUDs online. I've even had the pleasure of supplying David Gans with an AUD for the GDH and was interviewed on the radio show. I dropped out of the online posting sphere a few years ago, and have just started peeking my way back in (love the new Dead.net forum layout). Mostly I've started a blog aimed at helping people new to the world of Dead music online navigate the choices of shows to listen to, with a lean on the world of audience recordings. Check it out here: http://deadlistening.blogspot.com/ and let me know if you find it useful.
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

welcome, and be sure to stop by the tape traders area.
user picture

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Hey Now,Spent the late 80's-early 00's in Colorado. Nice to have this forum to share memories and create new ones. Live in Chicago now. Peace, Sean
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

thank you for all welcoming me, thanks! and a welcome for spinnersdelight and arkstar!
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Any friends of dick still out there ? Any stories? he was my brother, my friend. I traded him goods, he found my favorite tunes. I liked the old tunes ie., alligator, other one etc. everything he had was on reel to reel and he copied them onto cassettes for me.Not hardly anything left with his writing on it, the hawaiian sun faded my "not fade away".I live and have lived in hawaii'. I saw the warlocks play,got hauled into the haight house by Janis and listened to jorma, jack, janis, and jerry play in the front room. I remember the free concerts and the digger store. I lived upstairs from city lights books at the time, in a closet, and got to hear ferligetti,ginzburg etc. read about life "on the road" .Would love to share memories. I miss Dick L.
user picture

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Hi everyone. Bored day at work and decided to venture away from tapetrader and got my miracle today by landing here via google. Look forward to trading with everyone and also sharing stories about show experiences.Todd
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

welcome, and head on over to the Tapers area of the forum and sign up for some vines!
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Just the last couple years have been my "peak" period of Dead interest, but I've been listening to them off and on for about 20 years, saw a few late 80s/early90s shows at Autzen in Eugene, OR and one in the early 90s at Shoreline. Always dug it but just never quite got that "Must revise lifestyle to maximize show attendance!" zap...or at least it never lasted. Now I'm regretting it and downloading all the great shows I could have been at if only I'd had better priorities! I was primarily a punk rock kid during the 80s, that was a fun scene too. Last October I saw Phil at the Avalon in Chicago and was totally blown away!! Regret that I only got to see one night and will try not to make that mistake next time a Dead-related project comes through Chicago! Would love to connect with other like-minded folks in the Chicago area, especially if you're into bicycling.
user picture

Member for

16 years 8 months
Permalink

I would love to tell you that, in my 29 years on the planet, I've been listening to the Grateful Dead, swapping tapes, and enjoying this global family. The truth is, up until about 4 years ago, I knew the song "Truckin'," and that's about it. Then, I met this wonderful young lady who has been a Deadhead most of her life. She, in turn, introduced me to the Dead and their enormous body of work. I will admit, it was a bit overwhelming at first, but over the last few years, and several festivals to boot, I have grown into a full blow fanatic. I've played guitar for many years and I just love to hear Jerry and Bobby riff off of each other. That all being said, my name is Caleb. I married the love of my life, Amber, on Nov. 4th, 2006. We live in Oklahoma and are both enrolled in college here. She is a pre-med student, and I am going to school to be a special education teacher. We both have a deep passion for music, especially live music. She introduced me to the festival life and I have truly become addicted to the experience. I have a band and I believe our Myspace page is linked below. Other than that, I am looking forward to getting to know some of you and maybe meeting at some shows here and there. I am trying to talk my wife into going to Mountain Jam this June to see Bob and Ratdog in NY. I think that is all for right now. I look forward to extending my musical family with you all. Peace, Caleb
user picture

Member for

16 years 8 months
Permalink

Hi all... I am melissa, though picked up the nick name muffin about 8 years ago. Followed the Grateful Dead from about 90-mid 94...always used my real name on tour, never a "rainbow" name, which is funny as my friends giving me a nickname now, but that is a whole different story and world from tour anyway! lived in the haight, la, oakland, and many other wonderful places... I do miss my boys and would have stayed through the end if not for the state of ohio thinking differently! anyway, I have long waited to join here, and lately have had the time to do so, what with it being so cold and icky this winter! muffin www.creativemuffin.com
user picture

Member for

17 years 1 month
Permalink

i know u will find some kind people here...i loved ur website and sent my wife there to buy some of ur necklaces. stay safe and feel good! >><<<< :>
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Do people around you tell you that they are sick of hearing The Dead? That that's all you listen to> well that's what I get most of the time. So it's nice to hang with people who appreciate the finest things in life. I'll be pokin around here now and again, so maybe well bumb into each other and say Hi. PEACE
user picture

Member for

17 years
Permalink

I get that too, obvioulsy "they" have no taste for the finer things in life! Peace & Welcome
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

there's lots of different kinds of "theys" out there, most of 'em aren't very cool, but some of 'em will do in a pinch. Thanks for the welcome
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

i am new to posting. ive been a deadhead since mid seventies hit some shows late seventies and the eighties mostly chicago and wisconsin , area.rosemont horizon, alpine valley and popular creek. needed to stay away from the party for sometime which at times i regret but kept me alive then i went to see the other ones in pa (montage) and nj (continenal areana). excellent shows. the music never stopped i kept listening. I am grateful for this site thanks
user picture

Member for

16 years 8 months
Permalink

I went to law school, graduated, passed the bar and became a lawyer. I am so, so sorry about that. I really hope that the damage I did to the world will soon pass, even though the evil that men do lives on after them. At least I quit when I realized what I had done. Now I try to do some good every day to try and compensate. It's not enough, but the effort is there. I play the Dead through my headphones to try and repair my soul. Please let that be enough. But who am I kidding? I was a lawyer. My God, what have I done? Peace.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years
Permalink

Here I am afraid I`ll rot I beg of you to tell me not I don`t want to rot my brain to stop my heart to drop so I beg of you to tell me not you will not rot brain won`t stop your heart won`t drop so here I am to tell you not 1-30-08 One of my darkest day`s If your love is true you can make it through. 1-30-08............yes sometimes I do feel like this .... Hey Marye ,, any room for a poetry section ? I have lots of them... sure others have some they may want to share.... Peace !! Have a wonderful day !!
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

not a bad idea. Any other poets on the bus here?
user picture

Member for

17 years
Permalink

I think CCJ is a poet with flair!
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

good stuff
user picture

Member for

17 years 1 month
Permalink

i will glady pay u tuesday for a hamburger 2day...:) seriously, i think its a grate idea!!! stay safe and feel good > (~):-}
user picture

Member for

17 years 2 months
Permalink

is just a song where only you hear the music in your mind. Its in all of us. Been writing for years. Some put to music, most not. Love the words. . .
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years
Permalink

Stu say`s thank you Marye !! I`ll be sure to post more !! sometimes the words just flow from my head, it is kinda strange sometimes,,..thanx again ! and thank everyone for the positive feedback !!! Love you all !!! Peace !!!! ............
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

its all lyric manIt took me this long to find this intro thingy, but hey everyone and hugs. i'm still just me lol Born in the bay area, have lived/traveled most of the continental US, someday will play golf in Ireland and guitar on the coast of Spain. Listened to the dead all my life and finally got on the bus in 84. The offspring (aka son-drumpup/the usual topic of my conversation if not music) is now experiencing his second year of college and doing quite well *proud mama smile* He's the self-proclaimed next Kevin Smith...although he looks more like Jay... and yes...i'm still an Oakland fan no matter what Shell game of coaches Al throws at me. I've ended up staying here in VB that i had just moved to when i started posting, have a kool new place three blocks from the ocean. its sweet. The golf playing architect (realtors lovers?:) and i finally figured out we really are meant to be together...as Jerry said 'there's nothing like a near death experience to change your outlook'. Its been quite a year but I just felt the need to say so many of ya'll have always been on my heart, always. peace Keep on rockin in the free world
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

***you’ve got a lot of nerve to say you are my friend******while I was down you just stood there grinin*** I’m talking about me. If everyone could just join me in a surrealistic moment…I’m talking about me and me…I was down and I just stood there grinin…it’s a strange and terrible thing to be both I annexed Africa, a vast wasteland, a desert nobody cares about where I could do my thing…it’s the only thing I really do…really I guess in some stupid overanalyzed way, it gets exhausting especially when all I want to do is live my life, but my family is important and this is a puzzle I have to solve…so Bamski found me, and he pounced; the thing about it is, he was right, I was rambling, rambling about what to do next, what to do now with my life, because that is the only way I can communicate. I know eyes are rolling, but its true, it’s a real problem for me, and the truth of the matter is that I am a Dead Head…Pure and simple…but what Bamski was doing was only protecting what he loved, what was his…who was I? who was this new guy? This king of Africa? I’ve been a Dead Head for a long long time, but online? Hozomeen? Then there were all the great Heads that came to my rescue, those wonderful souls I have always flocked to, the ones I have always had a need to be around. You guys gave me some great insight into what has been going on with me my whole life. And it’s no coincidence that I am a Dead Head really. I went to see the captain…strangest I could find…I am looking for work right now. Until recently I was a sailor. My wife’s breast cancer last year wiped us out. We have a two year old. She can’t pick him up more than a couple times a day now. As a result, I can no longer sail. No matter, we moved to North Carolina three years ago so I could go to school and change careers. I have known something about myself. I have known that I needed a major change. I needed…needed…change in my life in order to live happily, correctly, without stress or worry or whatever you call it…that incredible bodily pain, bleeding stomach ulcers at 22, drug addiction, credit card debt, alcoholism, verbal abuse, falling out with friends, fights fights fights…I have been seeing this doctor, some kind of head doctor, uhmmm, I don’t know, anyway, he has been calling me ADHD and OCD for quite some time now, which has been very very good, but not all the questions have been answered, not really; which is not the point here, the point here is that I think I have found an answer, a condition called Asperger’s. It’s a form of autism. Lately I have been trying to find a job, any job, and it has been a major problem, confusing, not like before, but see now I am out of my comfort zone like never before…I have had bouts with these feelings in the past, but I have also been able to overcome them in some way or another; this time, this time I have hit a road block, and this time I can’t just hit the road. The main problem with my doctor is, he likes me, he likes who I am…this positive highly motivated guy, real go getter, goal oriented with confidence in himself…the fact is, though I may be all those things, I am hindered in a very real and specific way. He looks at me and says the same thing everyone has always said, “your fine, one of the best people I’ve every met.” That still doesn’t mean I’m not afraid. That still won’t reduce me, five foot ten, hundred eighty or so, state champ wrestler, sailor of the open seas, down to a teary pile of useless shit at the mere thought of going out and doing certain things…I can’t do them…they have to be done in certain ways or with certain devices or not at all…until now I have gone to great lengths to prove that I am some big tough guy…now I know what I am and I know what I’m not…and what I am is what I choose to be…what people see is a mask that my mind chooses because I can’t help it, it runs what amounts to a series of computer programs, and when it gets tripped up, like input it doesn’t recognize, you know, like when you say something to someone who is autistic, that wrong thing that sets them off, or when you type something wrong into your Apple IIe, you get the big fat Error message, and that is what you get with me too, in the flesh that is; on dead.net you get what is inside, cause for me, the possibly autistic me, this is my talent, this is what I do, I’ve been writing in notebooks and crap since I was I don’t know what… Marjie, my wife, and I had spent half our relationship by email until recently. We got engaged over an army telephone while I was in Kuwait after two months worth of emails. I sailed about 120 days at a shot and emailed her every day. I was infamous in the fleet. The email bandit or some shit. They kept up cause it was expensive. Inmarsat. Had I been an at home boyfriend, odds are she would have never gotten to know me. She sometimes asks me to write to her when I am at home; she sometimes says she misses me… it is no coincidence that I am a Dead Head. People like me have an aversion to getting picked on…they don’t know it is happening, and so they are prone to having it happen to them, I know I am, have been, was, and still are; he he he (sorry, I also like to crack myself up), the point is, it is kind of like an allergy to meanness; my sister’s husband has three brothers and it seems like they communicate with punches and insults…to me it is just crazy, I don’t understand it in the least, it almost hurts, it hurts to be over there, them all running around like dogs, dogs also all running around, children also all running around, and me…quiet, standing, drinking water mostly, sitting there in my head…so this allergy to meanness has drawn me to you, this crowd of zen, this crowd of people who are nice to one another as a rule and because you want to and not because your told… thank you everybody…thank you for being there…for being my family…for being zen…for continuing to be zen… thank you for the vast wasteland that is Africa…if there is anyone out there who needs to spill out some ramblings of there own, I also read read read and would be happy to read read read it…
user picture

Member for

16 years 7 months
Permalink

The first song I heard by the Dead was Casey Jones-I was 12. I saw my first show when I was 16 in 1986. I was hooked. For the next six or so years, I went on many tours. I still lived in Virginia but I would take off for weeks or months at a time and saw alot of shows. I had so much fun... Now, Im a mom of three, 11, 7, and 2, and I attend college online-IT major. I live in the Blue Ridge Mountains inVa.... Somewhere I have a photo album I managed to hang onto for the last twenty years...there are a few pictures from some shows in there..I'll post something when I find it again. Looking forward to chatting about some fun memories....
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years
Permalink

the welcome mat is out for you ! welcome aboard sunshine-sugaree... glad to have you here,,... lots of folks to talk with,, just don`t let the chat room get you freaked out,, it is a very very strange place .. Peace ...
user picture

Member for

16 years 7 months
Permalink

Hey Stuman, all....thanks for the welcome..just call me Stephanie : )Sugaree is one of my favorite songs though!
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

welcome, Stephanie!Hope you like it here. Enjoy! Peace,Gigi