• 895 replies
    marye
    Joined:
    Here's the place to talk about our departed loved ones -- friends, family members, tour buddies, and others we've lost along the way.

Comments

sort by
Recent
Reset
  • Anonymous (not verified)
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    the pulse that envelopes others
    Absolutely he hung on riggsjr.You are very lucky that he was surrounded by the ones who loved him in his final moments. Its a huge comfort for the soul after death. For the last images and sensations to be so full of love and compassion in those hours, minutes and seconds before the journey into another realm is so deeply powerful, so precious, that we won't fully comprehend until it's our turn, should we be so fortunate. For me to witness my Dad laughing with a throaty cough on the morning of the day he died, at a perfectly cheesy joke, when he was obviously deeply uncomfortable and wanting to pass over because the pain was too much to take was a blessing i never take lightly. Sometimes i forget, like you do when life continues and the years roll by, but then when it suddenly hits you like a lightning bolt, and they speak to you in your dreams, those tears come from the very pit of your stomach and make you realise that you were a part in something that others only dream of. We are indeed extremely lucky.
  • riggsjr
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    The hurt never goes awy
    I lost my Dad 8 years ago. While he was in hospital and after we had been told to expect the worst at any time,I had to attend a meeting 70 miles away ( a sales meeting which the company refused to release me from), I asked the guy in charge of the meeting if I could leave my mobile on vibrate and explained my circumstances, to be told all mobiles must be switched off. When the meeting ended and as I was leaving the building I switched on my phone to see 23 missed calls/messages. It turns out my boss, secretary, wife and sister had been phoning from around half an hour after the start of the meeting to say my Dad had taken a turn for the worse and the end was very near. Luckily after a frantic drive I managed to get to the hospital around 20-30 minutes before my dad passed away, so was with him at the end. However when I think of the anguish and frustration my Mother, sister and wife were put through as they frantically tried to get a hold of me I still feel very bitter that one individual caused them additional grief due to his lack of compassion. On the brighter side, I always try to take something good from what life throws at me, and I truly believe my Dad hung on until I could be with him and share his final moments which I still treasure to this day.
  • Anonymous (not verified)
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    awaken out of suffering
    Spare a thought for many people today - Including the families with small children that died in a cruiser accident on the River Volga in Russia yesterday. Looks positively awful. The victims of the train crash in Fatephur, India. And the recent severe drought in East Africa. Yep, it's the poor who suffer again. We don't know how lucky we are.....
  • johnman
    Joined:
    The wheel keeps turnin'
    it do....it surely do....
  • marye
    Joined:
    dang
    so sorry, both of you.
  • TigerLilly
    Joined:
    25 years??
    ((HUGS)) Johnman! And I get impatient with myself for still hurting so for my Dad after 7 months********************************** I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Wilde
  • johnman
    Joined:
    Cancer likes to raise it's ugly head
    It was a tumor that got my mom...they tried to cut it out, but that just woke it up, and made it grow. I went home on emergency leave for the surgery, missing a Garcia show onboard the carrier I was assigned to, but it was weeks later that we lost her. I never did get to say goodbye, though I know she's watchin' out for me. It's been almost 25 years and it still hurts... I expect it always will.....
  • Anonymous (not verified)
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    like a young goat
    Yes it was johnman, don't lie!!!!!! Ha ha!!! I know what you mean about missing a parent; i lost my Dad to cancer in 2004. I was at work when i got the phone call. Managed to see him that morning too and told him a joke. Was hallucinating through a Dick's Picks at the time; worked out that the moment he died was just as "Looks Like Rain" started. It sure did Dad, it sure did... But, they've only left the physical plane; sometimes no consolation when you wake up at 2.00am hurting, but they ARE all around us. We just have to readjust our vision; it's time for the peripheral to become our main means of focus; the sidereal our ability to see. Still wish he was here though.....
  • johnman
    Joined:
    I miss my mom....
    I wanna take her to a show...Mom, ya shouldn't have left so young. Ya didn't meetcher grandson, even....if you were still here, I know my family would not have imploded (or deploded, or hexplowdid, or.....or.... whatever).....Dang it, Mom......just plain MISS you.....aLOT.
  • johnman
    Joined:
    dude...wasn't to mountainjam...gosh
    It was to the spammer whom dear marye sent to spamhell, where all good (huh?) spammers go. Golly.....I'm not a hassshoe....jeeebers....yek ek ek ek ek ek ek....(popeye laff)..rarrarrf!!! wagwagwag
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Forums
Here's the place to talk about our departed loved ones -- friends, family members, tour buddies, and others we've lost along the way.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 3 months
Permalink

So sorry for your loss of your best friend Andy,may he rest in Peace
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Thank you for your kind words , and if anyone discovers they knew him share a story
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 3 months
Permalink

Recently My Friend and Boss passed away. His name is Ryan L. Black he's fom Lake Arrowhead California. He was a huge Fan of the Grateful Dead, Rat Dog and so on. He Died last tuesday, early morning, he lived excatly 33 years. I thought posting this here would be a good memorial for him. The community here will miss him as well as all of us who knew him well. Please keep his family and friends in your prayers and thoughts. KEEP ON TRUCKIN' Once a man and twice a child, Everything on earth is just for a while. Bob Marley
user picture

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

Sounds quite tragic. Peace and lots of music for your departed friend and boss neondonnie********************************** Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live. Samuel Clemens
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

so sorry for your loss of a good friend, neondonnie, and peace 2 u2
user picture

Member for

16 years 10 months
Permalink

Peace and strength to Ryan Black, and to all those who hold him dear in their hearts. Conversation is always more interesting than recitation, so speak your mind and not someone else's.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 3 months
Permalink

Thank you for your kind words. They help. You guys are truly kindred spirits.
user picture

Member for

17 years 3 months
Permalink

He was a friend of mine (& many others) Cecil Francis Farmer, age 55, originally from the Rosebud Indian Reservation in South Dakota came to California in the early 70's, passed on April 11, 2008. He loved the Grateful Dead (we went to quite a few shows together) & many types of music. Cecil was great @ beading & making things. Always seemed to laugh. I would call him my "Faithful Indian Friend" He would call me "his faithful white woman" We were friends for over 30 years & shall be missed by many. Hope he's having fun in the Happy Hunting Grounds......love ya always from the Gypsy Cowgirl...............
user picture

Member for

17 years 3 months
Permalink

'It rolls all into one"........isn't that part of a GD song?? (Stella Blue?) DAD-it's been almost 21 years since you left (Jan.16, 1916-Aug. 1, 1987) then we (my son & brother) all went to Telluride, Co.. for the gigs-I hope you were watching............UNC-the favorite uncle in the family, known as "the King" (Dec. 18, 1906-June 4, 2004) You led a charmed life, worked hard & died peacefully in your sleep @ 97 yrs young..........NANA- Aug. 6, 1891-March, 1971-you were the coolest grandmother to have-slamming the newspaper on the table when the GD got busted in 1967-"here, here, here's the GD you like so much" & 3 years later watching the GD on TV when it was broadcasted live from Winterland (I think it was there) & I was too pregnant to go . THANKS family!!!.........Elanna Dawson-miss your accent & laugh ...........RP-it's been 30 years-you were the Deadhead cowboy to bring me to more shows when we were so young & father to my son, who inherited all your good stuff...........If the 4 winds haven't brought yall home, may they do it now.........love yall, glad you were in my life-the Gypsy Cowgirl-now go out & make it a great day..............
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 11 months
Permalink

So much loss ,, my heart and positive vibes go out to all who has lost loved ones and freinds..... Peace be with you all .... The sun will shine again ...
user picture

Member for

17 years 3 months
Permalink

"the sun will shine in my backyard, someday"......aren't those the lyrcis??? it's shining anyways........Gypsy Cowgirl
user picture

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

is where I always understood that the sun was shining, W.W. but perhaps you are right. ********************************** Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live. Samuel Clemens
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 3 months
Permalink

The Sun will shine in my back door someday.The Sun will shine in my back door someday. March winds will blow all my troubles away.
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

especially today when it's cold, gray and gloomy in the Bay Area and I could stand a little of that sun in my back yard...
user picture

Member for

17 years 2 months
Permalink

hey GD Mom-thanks-you would think I'd remember the lyrics, even @ that hour & after a long day & only hearing it a zillion times.....oh, well, memory loss is a horrible thing..........haha.............I'll start playing it for the grandkids......must've been thinking about the backyard..............xoxoo Gypsy Cowgirl...........
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 2 months
Permalink

My cousin and loved one traveled with the show for awhile I believe. She was murdered in San Antonio last month. By an old roommate. She was a peaceful soul with nothing but love. I thought this should be said. Please pray for the soul!
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

I'm so sorry to hear this. Comfort to you and your family.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 3 months
Permalink

Healing beams to you and yours and may you find comfort in your memories of your cousin. Peace, Gigi A box of rain will ease the pain, and love will see you through.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 2 months
Permalink

I lost my dad, you guys, and I need some happiness and good vibes. I'm Logan, and he took me to hundreds of shows when I was a little girl. I don't really know what else to say, except I keep worrying about living my life in the way he raised me and honoring him. Going to shows with him, hearing Robert Hunter's lyrics, listening to Jerry, it all taught me how to be a decent human being. I'm 31 now, I'm a social worker in LA, and I still need my Pop. I put the line from "Crazy Fingers" in his obituary and it was the hardest thing, especially after my mom wanted to put a line from "Ripple" in there...I said, No, that's the first thing people would expect, I always liked this line from "Crazy Fingers," so she let me. Thank you, in advance, for the warmth and kindness. Love. "Who can stop what must arrive now? Something new is waiting to be born Dark as the night you're still by my side, shining side..."
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 3 months
Permalink

Your Pop sounds like a wonderful person and a grate DadHealing vibes are heading your way... You picked a grate line from a grate song to honor your Pop, He must be smiling down on you :) Peace, Gigi
user picture

Member for

17 years 3 months
Permalink

losing one's dad is one of the hardest thing in life.........we played "Throwing Stones" when we lost our dad & then went to Telluride for the shows-after 21 years he's still missed, but lucky enough to have had a great dad-sounds like you did, too! & you were SO lucky he took you to shows! how cool is that???? " & love will see you through"......xoxo Gypsy Cowgirl
user picture

Member for

17 years 3 months
Permalink

"One way or another, this darkness got to give"
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

I send you all the love, warmth, and kindness I can muster.What wonderful memories, keep them in your heart. He will always be there next to his beautiful daughter guiding you as he has always done. Keep that sparkle for him in your eyes. Quite sure of how proud of you he was. Take care,pk
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Love will see you through. "Where does the time go?"
user picture

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

Btyant Brandenberg,,Aka "Stinky",,,Well I just got a phone call no one likes ta get,, my best friends and tour brother for many a years died out in Colorado this morning....Bryant you will be missed,, anyone that has a copper Jerry hand hanging in thier bus or car,, may know him as "Stinky",,(he did give up that nick a few years ago, something about meeting woman with the name stinky),, Bryant and I toured together for about 7 almost 8 years in the late 80's and 90's,, he is the one I ran off with to take a break from society when my marrage ended,, we spent about a yaer together then , I have not had the chance to see him in a few years,, but we always stayed in contact on the phone,, Bryant worked at Go Ask Alice in Brockport, NY for a short time but you may all know him ,,(if you were on Dead tour, or from Colorado area) as the guy that twist and wraped with copper,, he had been working with copper for almost 25 years,, Anyone that was close with him most likey has one of his Jerry hands,,, Bryant always said when he died he wanted his ashes spred at Cougar hot springs,, I will try and make sure that happens,,,, With a empty spot in my heart,, Mike
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 3 months
Permalink

Today would of been my sister's 50th birthday today! She passed away 1 year and 11 months ago after the fight of her life with breast cancer. She was my best friend and I miss her every minute! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU PATTY!! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN TELL! Dance with Jerry!
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Thank you, Mr. Newman... from salad dressing to hard boiled eggs, you were one of kind and an inspiration to me, as well an entire generation.
user picture

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

NOT PAUL NEWMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Learning sad facts here on Deadnet. Am so sad to read GRTUD and johnman's posts that have to go research and mourn a bit. Sniff.********************************** Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live. Samuel Clemens
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 3 months
Permalink

So sad :(
user picture

Member for

17 years 2 months
Permalink

Oh, dear...what a loss for us all. When Paul Newman came to a GD show in NY-it was a stadium show (Giant Stadium, I think) We were standing behind the drums & I turned around & there was Paul Newman. Introduced myself & the 8 yr. old boy I was in charge of @ the time. The kid says "OH, you're the man on the salad dressing" Needless to say, Paul Newman laughed very hard & enjoyed the rest of the concert......later rented some movies like "Cool Hand Luke" so the boy could get a clue on who Paul Newman is/was ..................Gypsy Cowgirl
user picture

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

Great Motown songwriter, Norman Whitfield was buried today. "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" and so much more from this man. Psychedelic soul kitchen cooker. It's a turn table night.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 11 months
Permalink

Otis Watts jr. Born , Febuary 6, 1928 Prosperity, South Carolina Passed away, October 5, 2008 Jacksonville, FL. Services held: Graveside October 8 2008 Uligy; God looked around his garden And He found an empty place, He them looked down upon this earth, And saw your tired face, He put his arms around you And lifted you to rest. God`s garden must be beutiful. He always takes the best. He knew you were suffering, He knew you were in pain. He knew you would never get well on earth again. He saw the road was getting rough and the hills were hard to climb. So He closed your weary eyelids, And whispered "Peace be thine". It broke our hearts to loose you But you did`nt go alone. For part of us went with you The day God called you home. Rest in Peace my dear freind . We will never forget you . Can`t forget ,, Paul Newman , the best of the best .. Rest in peace ..
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 11 months
Permalink

I forgot to mention that I did not write that .. His family wrote it .. it is beutiful they did a real nice job on everything .. Thank you .. Peace .. Stu ....
user picture

Member for

16 years 3 months
Permalink

John 14:27 (to you ;)Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; John 14:16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Conforter, that he may abide with you forever;
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 3 months
Permalink

My sister Patty she passed away from breast cancer 2 years ago today on my birthday She was my sister and best friend. I miss her every minute of everyday. Peace to you Patty Dance with Jerry for me :)
user picture

Member for

16 years 10 months
Permalink

losing someone you love..it hurts for a long time, i know........my thoughts and prayers are with you gigi....giant hugs!!
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

and I'm sorry your sister didn't get a chance to come hang with us.
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

My thoughts are with you Gigi, the love of your sister is evident in everything you say and do,she seems to be always with you. Be happy this birthday knowing she is in you and a part of you and you are one and being one is beautiful.
user picture

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

I lost one of my sisters 10 years ago to breast cancer. I know what you are feeling and i wish you grace, peace & love. My sister loved the Grateful Dead too. Just about every dance concert I list here she was with me, dancing too. Her son was 12 when we lost her and our third sister (Missy Motown) finished raising him. We three live together. He's a drummer. Peace to you and your family
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 3 months
Permalink

for all of your kind words!!Love & Peace, Gigi
user picture

Member for

16 years 1 month
Permalink

stevie c Losing a family member is hard for anyone to cope with, but losing a child is the worst. Watching your spouse cry under her breath, the siblings looking on in confusion, not even close to being able to understand. These are things a dad has to deal with after finding his sixteen year old son the next morning lifeless after an overdose while you were asleep. Not being there to help him in his time of need isn't the only thing regretable, but not seeing the problem in the first place. I know he loved life though, his music, guitar and friends. I really hope he is in that better place we all hope to see one day- God's golden shore, until then, I love you more than words can tell.......
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 3 months
Permalink

Nothing could be worseI am so very sorry for your loss, may you find peace and comfort in your memories of your son. Peace,Gigi
user picture

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

Peace and tranquility for both of your lost loved ones. Just feel them in your heart-they're there with you for sure.********************************** Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live. Samuel Clemens
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

i am so sorry for the loss your family is suffering, peace and love
user picture

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

My thoughts are with you. TigerLilly said it best in her post. Peace If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. William Blake