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  • TigerLilly
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    Oroboros the Wise
    That was again a FINE piece of writing.********************************** Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live. Samuel Clemens
  • marye
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    what they all said
    Folks above put it better than I could, bless 'em, but many good vibes and hopes for better times in the new year to you. We will get by!
  • Hal R
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    Johnman
    We are with you. Take care of yourself. Find joy in your life with your son, remember how important you are to each other. I wish you much peace to your spirit. I really just want to ditto what Oroboros said above. Hal If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. William Blake
  • Oroboros
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    johnman,
    Do what you are doing, my friend. Talk when you can, it can help to endure the pain. That pain is the unwelcome balance the joy that we are blessed to experience. Recognize the great gift of your skeptical humor and wit that you share regularly with us. And know that there are times that your contribution offers us all here a 'cookie' that is a unique 'johnmanism'. I can hear the angst in your post but note the warm empathy for others as well. Again that contrast is striking. And welcome. Move on as you can, brother, and stop and rest when needed. Depression often takes herculean efforts to endure. It is exhasting. Honor your feelings, but care to not linger on those thoughts that are destructive to you and tax your sense of yourself. Persevere and remind yourself of your path and how far you have come. Be gentle with yourself. "Shall we go?...you and I, while we can?" Take care, Tim The Truth is realized in an instant, the act is practiced step by step.
  • caroline
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    johnman
    hold on, my good (john)man- the sun will rise again-- we are reaching out to you because of your value in this world i hope you made contact with tigerlilly or someone else who could help ease your pain and isolation i'm sending you good vibes & good wishes & i'll keep you in my prayers- tomorrow is a new year (thank goodness!). thinking of you-- xo c caroline
  • TigerLilly
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    OH JOHNMAN
    come in the chatroom-talk to me. is all I can say to do gotta walk the kids to a friend's and then will come back and wait 4 u! ********************************** Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live. Samuel Clemens
  • johnman
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    wadda ya do
    when yer so down that ya can't talk to other people for fear you'll bum them out but ya need ta talk to someone so bad it makes yer chest hurt? when ya don't wanna eat, smoke, drink, sleep, stay awake, sit, stand, lie down but yer hungry thirsty tired and alone.........music doesn't help, nor does quiet, so scared ya wanna puke and can't. suicide is too much work and leaves a mess for someone else to clean up and bums THEM out, and ya know THAT ain't right, and ya know it's just selfish to think about yerself but ya know nobody else will.........and even if they do there's nothing they can do for you.................
  • TigerLilly
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    EMERGENCY CRISIS PROBLEM
    Can anybody help GratefulMom out? She has DSO tix for tonight, and got stood up twice, and is in a bad way. is sort notice but very very important no idea what to do from here ********************************** Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live. Samuel Clemens
  • Frankly
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    Spanish Jam...
    Hey Bob,sometimes the night looks very dark,but the SUN comes up every morning and I wish you that its beams will cover you with all the good Vibes you need to go on..!!
  • mary-sunshine
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    Thank You
    peace through music Just wanted to jot a quick note on my way out the door to the hospital to see Norm. When your sinking in the mire of doubt and or depression just knowing that there are souls out there who take the time to care and write a few words of encouragement can be inspiring. It gives you the strength to carry on. Thank you all for this unconditional Love. And thank the stars for Marye and all the work you do connecting us all. Holiday blessings to all. To Sunshine Daydream Bob; Not sure what's wrong but sending Good Love vibes to you!
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Need 'em? Got 'em to share? Post here.
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maybe we can start out sending some loveout to the world. we're the fortunate ones, especially stumbling upon this music, whichever way we did. so some good vibes for the world, mebbe? ---'never prank a truster'----
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good vibes to the whole world!
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17 years 1 month
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good vibe to all out there in need.i know this prolly isnt the right place, but me and my family could use some good vibes right now, my dog has cancer. I found out the other night and im really scared for her, as she is really near to me. we caught it early and she has REALLY good chances, but we are still all havin trouble keepin up a good face. any and all well wishes would be greatly appreciated Peace, The Kid
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It's true, it's amazing how much veterinary science has progressed. Good for you for catching it early, healing beams to your doggie, good face beams to you and your family. What's her name? My Rex and Callie send their good doggie vibes also.
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Sorry to hear about your dog and hope things are on the up swing for you guys. The sooner these problems are caught, the better the outcome. Like marye said, the dog docs are getting better and better at treating our little friends. I also can relate 'cause one of my dogs just received a clean bill of health after a really rough spell in which she had an emergency operation to save her life, a few weeks ago. Unfortunately she has lost her hearing (as a result of the operation) and I've had a tough time (emotionally) accepting that fact. But now that she's getting back to normal, playing and romping around with us again, I'm just grateful she's alive. Like Warren Zevon said (and perhaps I understand better with every experience that brushes death's doorstep), "Enjoy every sandwich"... with your dog ; - )
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beams to you as well. My Callie, now 11 (the spotted one), has been deaf her whole life. Certainly never slowed her down. You might want to check out the Deaf Dogs list on yahoo groups; it's very active and very nice folks. While I'd say the lion's share of the discussions have to do with rescue, adoption and training of deafies-from-birth, people often come along after their hearing dogs have lost their hearing for one reason or another and want some coping strategies. When Callie was young we used to go to local Deaf Dogs picnics, but now that we're all geezers in this house we've lost touch with that scene a bit. Sounds like your girl is coping just fine however!
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17 years 5 months
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As a casual poster on this site I feel little weird asking, but everyone here has always been so excellent to me I figured any prayers/thoughts from such a good group of folks would be a big help.My one y/o son is having surgery tomorrow to have tumor removed from his chest. Though not growing on his spine, it is pressed right against it. The docs can't say for sure whether it's benign or malignant. The statistics tend to be on our side (benign), but we won't be sure until pathology gets a chance to take a look. If you have the time please keep my family in your thoughts. Thanks. McB "...the powerful plays goes on, and you may contribute a verse" -Walt Whitman-
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17 years 4 months
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The Deadheadkids doggie and his family hope he gets well soon!and to McB28 for a safe recovery for your son! Keep the faith! Peace,Gigi
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17 years 1 month
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my heart goes out to you and your son McB28, all the best and good wishes are being sent your way.also, thanks for the well beams guys, i love my pup and if i ever lost her id be devastated. Her name is gretzky and shes great. all the best wishes to your pup grtud. Peace, The Kid
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to all our loved ones who need 'em. Safe recovery to McB28's son!
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17 years 5 months
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to you Kid, for Gretzky's happy and healthy recovery, and also to you McB28! Hope your son's tumor is malignant, and that he heals completely and quickly. Healing light and energy to all who need it now.********************************** Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live. Samuel Clemens
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McB28-forgot the not-meant that hope is NOT malignant. Am glad that Pid was pointing out that I forgot a word. Of course I don't wish what I wrote!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!********************************** Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live. Samuel Clemens
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16 years 7 months
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always a positive thought to dance your *** off..lol! Fare Thee Well...
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to McB28's son. May today be a good one for his whole family. If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. William Blake
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17 years 6 months
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Hope your dog does well. If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. William Blake
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17 years 6 months
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good doggie vibes headin2U!McB28, thinkin all good 4U and your son!!
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17 years 6 months
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more ++++ vibes for all! love and peace.
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16 years 9 months
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Somthin' about those doggie vibes............extremely healing Gone are the days we stopped to decide........where we should go......we just ride.
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17 years 5 months
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The surgery went pretty well for my son. It turns out that it was not a single mass (tumor), but instead a group of inflamed lymphnodes. The surgeons seemed encouraged, if not a little puzzled by this. Now we are just waiting on results from pathology. Thank you all for your positive thoughts and prayers. It is always pleasant when you realize that there are some genuinely good people out there. Thanks. "...the powerful plays goes on, and you may contribute a verse" -Walt Whitman-
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17 years 4 months
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So happy for you all, sending more positive vibes for grate results from pathology! Keep the faith! Without love in a dream it will never come true
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17 years 6 months
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here's hoping it turns out to be something really trivial and easy to fix!
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McB2B - the news sounds good on your son. I'm praying for a full resolution for you and your family that includes a long life for all. Keep us posted. marye - thanks for the advice on my (now) deaf Yorkie. She's doing great, btw. Each day she's more like her old self. As for the deaf condition, she follows her brother's lead and seems to be doing as well as she has for the last year or more, which makes me think this surgery was a real life saver because (we think now) that the last few ear "infections" were being caused by the tumor and why they didn't seem to respond to just antibotics (we had to get Rx for steroids the last two times she has been sick). I'm so happy that she's well again! Thanks to all for your well wishes. "The task is, not so much to see what no one has yet seen; but to think what nobody has yet thought, about that which everybody sees. ." - Erwin Schrödinger
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17 years 1 month
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first off, good vibes to all out there in need, specially to you and your son McB2B and you and your pup GRTUDSecondly, on behalf of my pup and myself i wanna say THANK YOU for all the good vibes yall sent. my pup went through the first round of chemo today and the lymph nodes (which are the problem sites) shrank considerably, which is a GREAT sign. thank you all so much, not just for the good vibes, but for the support. Peace, The Kid
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to all who need 'em, of whatever species. And good vibes of strength and comfort to those who are in it with them.
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17 years
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Well and positive beams to all in need ,, no matter how many feet you walk on !! Take care and enjoy the weekend !!
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Let's all send good vibes to johnman's computer, so he can be back with us again soon. Seems as if his has broken down.********************************** Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live. Samuel Clemens
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...and to all who need 'em. BIG POSITIVE ENERGY coming to all who need it from Pappy in Pittsburgh - especially to my sister-in-law, Maria who had surgery today. ~ Pappy www.theCAUSEjams.com "Once in a while you can get shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it right." - Robert Hunter
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17 years 4 months
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Healing computer vibes for Johnmanand Get well healing vibes to Maria *~*Walk in the sunshine, watch for the bright sun, Be all those things you're able to be*~*
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Really appreciated.... You're awesome! ~ Pappy www.theCAUSEjams.com "Once in a while you can get shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it right." - Robert Hunter
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so that it all works out 'just exactly perfect' for you all on these paths.Take care The Truth is realized in an instant, the act is practiced step by step.
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17 years 1 month
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to all out there who need emPeace, The Kid
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cookies on the computer johnman? pixel beams for your motherboard!! get well beams for maria!
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16 years 1 month
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I haven't posted here ever before... used to hang out back in the 90's in a chat called "710 Ashbury", and haven't had the time since about 98', so a lot to say but will try and keep it short... haven't seen a show since Phoenix 94, just kinda faded away after Uncle Jerry went to play that great gig in the sky. Much has happened in my life since then. Kinda drifted in and out of the rainbow family for a few years, then joined the machine and became a heavy equipment operator of all things. That took me out to Reno and into a union and... well I'll save that for later, but, it eventually took me to Iraq working for a company out of Houston called KBR. It is truely amazing for me to look back at it all and see just how far I have strayed from who I really am in the name of the almighty dollar. I spent more time living in a warzone listening to Jerry and Bobby and Phil then I had until rescently since my last show. I'm home now and definitely scrambled in the head. Because I was a civilian contractor, there are no benefits available for counseling, no one will hire me, and I am so deep in debt, I can't even see the sun anymore. I only sleep 2 to 3 hours at a time and only 4 or 5 times a week. I keep my doors locked and have been living my life infront of my computer trying to get out of my head... but, I found a couple of my old cd's cleaning the house the other day and I have been back on the bus. I feel, just from the music, that the hole that war has left in me is slowly, very slowly, starting to close. I've been home for over a year and more than half my friends don't even know I'm home. Honestly, just so I know it myself, I'm not living this way out of fear, more, I feel that this is my pennance of sorts... I have created my own cell... I have nothing but love for all mankind, but the images trapped in my head still won't go away, so, I guess I'm askin for nothin but love... I could really use some good vibes and words of encouragement to know, weather you all agree with war, the war, or anything related to that whole scene, I'm still alive and its never too late. Sorry for the downer. Thanks for reading my vent, and if anyone cares to, feel free to drop me a private message or post a responce. Thanks again and, from what is left of my heart, never let go of the music.Chubs I be.
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just do what ever you can do keep to your sweet nature it's not a downer to listen to what folks go through, far from it reflecting smiles to you, andy ---'never prank a truster'----
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What free idea said "it's not a downer to listen..." Also it sounds like you got some stuff to get out, and we certainly don't mind listening. Hang in there Chubsib, take it day by day, and perhaps come back here from time to time, where people are kind. Is at least one more guy here who knows first hand what you've been through in Irak. He's still there, so perhaps you can hook up with writing to him here? Peace and inner strength to you Chubsib,and lots and lots of good vibes. ********************************** Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live. Samuel Clemens
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Sending you lots of LOVE & POSITIVE vibes.......and some tunes....... Help on the way, well, I know only this, I've got you today. Don't fly away, cause I love what I love and I want it that way. I will stay one more day, like I say, honey it's you. Making it too, without love in a dream it will never come true. Peace.Gigi
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16 years 9 months
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Well first off positive vibes Look man get out of the house, don't lock yourself into a cell and shut others out. Find others with your same experience and talk about it. If no counseling is available to you. You need to vent holding stuff in only creates anger and self sorrow. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Get out go to a show seems like there is alot of the scene out there get away for a few days. I know we alllike to have our higher conciousness or altered whatever. But please my brother don't drink yourself into a cave. Now that that is said. I know the experience and am sure have been in much worse situations than any KBR personnel. Please don't take that as a personal strike against you. It's not. I'm sure the thing is something you wish to contend with. death is a daily deal contractors are not exempt from the horrors and are targets as well. So with all that said and you start thinking who the fuck is this guy to tell me. My name is SFC Dwight R. Laporte am on my 3rd tour in Iraq. My job is combat engineer. I parachuted in Bashur Iraq in 03. returned in 06 to Mosul and am again currently in Mosul. I could go into great detail of war but don't think this is tjhe place. War sucks but is a reality we all have to deal with. everyone is affected either directly or indirectly. Have friends or family members who have been here etc. Maybe for me I've just kinda built of an internal defense. Sometimes nothing seems to matter, I always say if no body's dead it ain't that serious. I've been posting on here alot for the last couple month's cause we are getting ready to go home and have toned down some. Have made some grate friends here and hope to meet them somewhere one day. It helps me cause I a freakin deadhead and we all relate. And like you off the bus for a long time. I catch a fest when I can but won't be able to be completly free for 3 more years. I've gotten so much recent info about what is going on these days here. And like you when Jerry passed I kinda just lost touch with it all. Still listened of course but stayed in the Army. Anyway what did you do with all those big dollars KBR paid you, ha ha. Look man write me anytime. I look forward each day hoping some of my dead.net friends dropped me a line or responde to a post in a goofy way is alot of fun and is a release for me. So to all of you thanks. And chubs you can get past the bad but doing it alone is not the way to go believe me
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16 years 1 month
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Thank you for you're post, it shows we all have stuff that sucks and we can't deal with. I used to be a regular at a chat place called wemissjerry.org. Haven't posted or chatted in awhile. The funny thing is that we all need our time and space to figure it all out. What I do know is that the spark that was kindled in your heart for what most call "Dead" is acutally alive. I've never been through what you are speaking, have heard alot of indepent contractors that have gone there, but what you are going through is not irregular. Don't stay at home, don't be reclusive, and please let your light SHINE! Most people don't know of the Grateful Dead and what's known is either Jerry died or it's a Hippy Community. I know this...I wasn't born in the 60's, nor in a commune, nor did I waste my youth....You are a part of something bigger than that, which is what you know is to be true! There is more love in this place of existance than you know. I've been in the deepest darkest of holes, yet I knew I was meant for more, why? Not because of me but because there are truly people in the world that care. You are one of the few light that beacons from every spectrum of the universe...so just LET IT SHINE. Being a youngin I only understand a little, but I'm sure that all the love you find in this place WILL NOT FADE AWAY! Scotty _________________________________________________________ Will you come with me? Once in awhile you can get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right!
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17 years 6 months
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lots of good advice above, and.... "when you get confused, listen to the music play"
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17 years 5 months
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I'd like to thank all of you for being assertive, innovative and expressive within this forum over the past couple of years. Tomorrow, I'll be in surgery and hope that I return to your flavorful posts, even if you're Republican. David, if you're out there somewhere, see if you can find a recording from New Orleans > 10/18-19/80. If the anesthesia isn't too strong and the slicer isn't hungover, expect my return. If not, grdaed73 can have my double imperial IPA,s downstairs in the fridge. Good luck, God bless, and long live the Grateful Dead~!!
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17 years 6 months
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Ted. all the best wishes and positive vibes during your hospital surgary. peace.
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16 years 4 months
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I have to be careful in sending out the beams, afraid some of my innate negativity will leak out. That said, hope things work out for the best, Ted. Be looking for you on the vines, bro' Even if you are holding back IPAs ;^D ************************************************ I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com ************************************************
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17 years 6 months
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Positive healing vibes out to you Gr8fulTed. Hope the anesthesia is just exactly perfect and the slicer is also. grdaed73, now don't rush over to his basement just yet! And if you need back up with the nurses, give iknowurider a call, she will color their world! ;))peace and good wishes,pk
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May everything go well. Hey Pk, I'm a nurse, how will iknowyourider color my world? I'm not wearing fishnets if that is what you have in mind. Unless they are tie - dyed, that may be another matter. If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. William Blake
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17 years 1 month
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Let me try again ~ Give the Nurses HECK! Hal R ~ Oh, to see you in tye dye fishnets!! Even then, I'd be speechless.... PEACE