Comments

sort by
Recent
Reset
  • Day Glo Louisville
    Joined:
    The ringer cannot look empty
    Arrest made after $2.7 million of Victoria's Secret dirty undees found being sold by George Tutaya, of Rego Park, NY. There was more than $26,000 unsold bras in his home. Who would have thought there was that much $ in the "whites."
  • unbrknchain
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    Popper "popped" in eastern Washington.
    Washington state has more cops per capita than any other state in the land. In the course of one year, I was pulled over for speeding on three different occassions. There are so many cops out there. It's bad bad bad bad baaaahhhd!
  • MarkintheDark
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    Damn.
    Couple of more paragraphs and I'd've had my own page. Heck. And I left out all the Phoo erotica too. Hot stuff, not all ages-appropriate. johnman woulda dropped his cookies. ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
  • MarkintheDark
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    The Story of the Island of Phoo
    I will fill this forum with my wisdom, or at least with a lot of my typing. I will create an incredible post, an Uber-post, that marye will have to make into its own forum or delete entirely for the sake of the feeble webservers. I will tell you a story, and you will sit quietly and read with rapt attention. I will tell you the Story of the Island of Phoo **********The Story of the Island of Phoo********** This is the story of the Island of Phoo, an beautiful place populated by a beautiful people, who go by the name of the Phooeys. Now the Phooeys have a lot in common with Deadheads, in that they enjoy spending their days dancing and twirling (naked, of course), plucking on coconut guitars and banging on tree stump drums. Their life is simple and pleasant, with the jungle providing plenty of good fruits, nuts and vegetables, and the ocean providing plenty of fish and shrimp and shellfish to eat, and the springs of the island supply a naturally effervescent water that is sweet and bubbly and that keeps the Phooeys spry and youthful until well into old age. The weather is always wonderful, the air always smells of the tropical flowers, the days are warm and breezy and the nights are lit by stars invisible anywhere else in the world (strangely, there is a constellation the Phooeys have named Popperstaser but nobody knows what it means) Yes, the Island of Phoo is truly a tropical paradise, but this joyous existence comes with a price. Like most tropical islands, the Island of Phoo is volcanic in nature and the highest peak of the island is a dormant (mostly) volcano that has been named by the Phooeys (of course) Mount Phoo. I say dormant (mostly) because occasionally Mount Phoo does erupt, but it erupts in a kind of humorous way, not explosively and violent with lots of dangerous lava, it just kind of burps with a funny fart noise and a little rotten egg smell, and that's all. These infrequent eruptions wouldn't bother the Phooeys a bit, except that it awakens the mighty Phoo Bird, and it is the Phoo Bird that is the only blemish on the Phooey's otherwise idyllic existence. The Phoo Bird is a horrible beast, huge and scaly with great sharp claws and a great sharp beak and with a ravenous appetite for only one thing: Phooeys. Fortunately for the Phooeys, though, the Phoo Bird spends nearly all of its life asleep in its nest at the top of Mount Phoo. Except when Mount Phoo erupts with its fart-noise and bad smell that is, then the Phoo Bird wakes up from its long sleep with its stomach growling from hunger and a tremendous need to empty its gargantuan bowels. The great monster Phoo Bird flies up off the volcano, flies down towards the villages and the beaches, takes a mighty Phoo dump and begins to capture and devour any Phooeys unfortunate enough to catch its eye. Over the course of millenia, however, the Phooeys have learned how to protect themselves from the predations of the Phoo Bird. The Phooeys have learned the one place they can hide and escape the Phoo Bird. They can't hide in the jungle - the Phoo Bird can tear through the trees with its beak and find them. They can't hide in caves - the Phoo Bird uses its great claws and digs them out. They can't hide in the ocean - the Phoo Bird waits patiently until they come up for air and then snatches them out of the water and gobbles them up. The only place the Phooeys can escape from the Phoo Bird is by diving into the huge pile of Phoo droppings the Phoo Bird created soon after the volcano awakens it from its slumber. It sounds nasty, and it is, but the Phooeys have learned this is the price they must pay for their continued life of dancing and twirling and drinking of fizzy spring water. The Phooeys have learned the One True Rule of Life: If the Phoo shits, wear it. ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
  • MarkintheDark
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    yeah, those SUVs are full of little cubbyholes...
    ...but apparently Popper's Benz was a little special. One more clipping and I'll quit, I promise (it's a little amusing towards the end). Here's the Reuters article of the arrest ("Vrroooom!): ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
  • GratefulGigi
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    HeehHee!
    Kid you quack me up! :)
  • deadheadkid
    Joined:
    ok lets all have some treats
    milk and cookies for everyone! WOO-HOO! just clean up when your done, the last time i let you guys serve yourselves and use the big boy cups yall left a complete mess in here. Daddy needs to go have a drink. a big one.Peace, The Kid
  • johnman
    Joined:
    wow
    did'nt intend ta start a pissin' contest...........guess i better have TWO cookies. i remember reading about popper being stopped and i don't recall any " secret compartment " just the usual storage nooks ya find in the smaller suv's. in my son's '91 explorer there is an cover not unlike a pull down shade that goes from the back seat to the rear door, effectively covering anything ya have in the back like luggage or a purse or what ever, pick up the floor board and ya find tools for tire change and whatnot..........ok cake for everyone!!
  • deadheadkid
    Joined:
    ok guys
    everybody just settle. i think we should all just go have a tea break (or coffee if thats your thing, or a smoke) and then ya can come back and yell at each other if you like.just hadnt posted in a while so i decided id drop in. *sigh* guess this is what i get when i leave you kids alone for a few minutes to head out to the packie. JK Peace, The Kid
  • starsleeper
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    whatever
    for a man of his stature, I say more power to him. Maybe you like being in the dark,Mark, but what the fuck's wrong with protecting yourself against the losers we all know are out there?
user picture

Member for

17 years 6 months
Forums
continuing the free-form from where we left it...
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Does anybody besides me find that fricking bizarre? In relation to what the news article is about, does it really matter whether Popper is chubby or thin or peg-legged or an albino or anything else like that? Just struck me weird, but perhaps is me. ********************************** Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live. Samuel Clemens
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

I dated a woman in Spokane whose father is a retired police officer. It's a stat passed on by word of mouth. No scientific study here. Hey did you see my post that I saw Mickey Hart on television, yesterday. He said the band may get together for a tour next year.
user picture

Member for

16 years 11 months
Permalink

the band is adding wood to the fire, so to speak......still bet they don't hit washington state!!
user picture

Member for

16 years 11 months
Permalink

believe ya think i'd drop a cookie..........damn!
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 4 months
Permalink

That Phooey porn is some hot stuff. Wicked hot. I've dropped a cookie myself, but the dog got to it before I could pick it up and dust it off. Pretty fast for a fat old yellow dog. Cheers, dude! MarkintheDark ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
user picture

Member for

17 years 1 month
Permalink

i LOVE that story. me want more. MORE. will give cookies for more.Peace, The Kid
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 4 months
Permalink

...and finally got around to typing it up. This seemed like an appropriate place, it seems to bring out the (barely repressed) weirdness in me. Words of wisdom, no doubt. Glad you enjoyed it, kid! MitD ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 4 months
Permalink

Pirate walks into a bar, with a large oddly shaped bulge in his pantaloons. Bartender says "excuse me sir, I couldn't help but notice - is that a ship's wheel in your pants?" and the pirate says "Yarr, it's drivin' me nuts" Chinese guy walks into a bar with a large brightly colored parrot on his shoulder. Bartender says "well, there's something you don't see every day. Where did you get that, then?" and the parrot says "China, there's like a billion of them over there" A priest, a rabbi, an elephant and an S&M fetishist walk into a bar and the bartender says "What is this, some kinda joke?" A dog walks into a bar, strolls up to the bartender, rears up on his hind legs and says "Hey, looky here, I'm a talking dog. That's pretty impressive isn't it, don't you think I deserve a free drink?" and the bartender says "Sure, the toilet's down the hall and to your left" Now to separate the philosophy majors from the boys: Rene Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "So Rene, would you like a drink?" Descartes replies "I think not"...and disappears. Je pense donc je suis, dudes! ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 4 months
Permalink

It involves a blue whale and a sound effect. Doesn't translate to print. ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

A Deadhead and his dog walked into a bar. The Deadhead said to the bartender, "Can I have a beer? I don’t have any money, but I have this talking dog." The bartender said, "If your dog can really talk, I’ll give you a beer on the house." The Deadhead said to the dog, "Hey, what’s your favorite Dead song?" The dog barked, "Wharf, Wharf, Wharf." The bartender, furious, threw the Deadhead and the dog out of the bar. Once outside, the dog turned to the Deadhead and said, "Maybe I should have said Dark Star." HeeHee! QUACK! Peace,Gigi
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

So good to start it off with that Gigi!
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

Glad you liked it!!TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a grateful day!! Peace,Gigi
user picture

Member for

16 years 11 months
Permalink

you people are just plain wrong............i've tried 3 times to get past "wharf, wharf" without chokin'....and i just can't do it!!................how many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?.............don't be ridiculous,everyone knows they screw in vw buses!!..........thanx mark and gigi for shining a little light on my otherwise shitty life....i can start this day with a smile and a little hope!!!!
user picture

Member for

16 years 11 months
Permalink

walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would have seen it... Conversation is always more interesting than recitation, so speak your mind and not someone else's.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

Always a blonde joke in there right?Ha!
user picture

Member for

17 years 1 month
Permalink

Grate way to start off a Friday :) I'd like to tell a joke too, but I always F up the punchline.. PEACE
user picture

Member for

16 years 11 months
Permalink

Haven't even had my coffee yet, it was all I could come up with! Conversation is always more interesting than recitation, so speak your mind and not someone else's.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

Like we never heard or read the F word!!
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

nice thought, mom!grate jokes.... screw in a light bulb. HA hippie friday all peace nice mouth ride!
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Yeah iknowyourider, we've been around you long enough to know your vocabulary is more colorful than a double rainbow!....and we all know magic happens around double rainbows.;)) I LOVE FRIDAYS!!!!!!!!!
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 4 months
Permalink

...I should start another thread by showing my boobs. Do you know what's brown and sticky? A stick (my daughter thought that was a scream when she was five. My ex-wife didn't get it) ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 8 months
Permalink

Like when " the compass always points to Terrapin?"Have a good weekend, peace-out!
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Yes, but many times it points to Winterland! ;))
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 4 months
Permalink

And the angel on the left says "tell jokes, be positive, enjoy life!" while the devil on the right says "well, that's all fine but don't forget the DEADNETSTORE SUCKS!" Sometimes, the devil is right. Hypothetical situation: say you have a friend who has just had a baby, and you thought it would be cool to send the new baby a gift, and say you thought it would be cool if that gift was, oh, I don't know, maybe a Grateful Dead themed onesie. Let's also say you would like to buy this through the deadnetstore because maybe some tiny percentage of the profits supports this fine website. I am here to tell you the odds are four out of five you will be disappointed. Five onesies shown on the Babies and Kids apparel page, and four of them are of course "currently out of inventory" (and, of course, you have to open each individual page to find this out). Both the youth tees shown are also out of inventory. The one allegedly available Moon Jerry onesie is cute enough; I refuse to buy it just because its the only one there; it's my least favorite of the choices they used to have so I will look elsewhere. I don't know the deal is with the store, if operation of the store is something that is contracted out or not. If so, the contractor is costing Dead, Inc. business and should be replaced. I'm all about not tying up cash in a lot of inventory, but if you're going to show it on the webpage you need to have it in stock, wouldn't be that hard to hide those webpages and take down the thumbnails. Yeah, it would be painfully obvious that the shelves are empty but c'mon, the shelves ARE empty. If on the other hand, it is a Dead, Inc operated business, maybe they should consider contracting it out. That thing ain't right. Sure, the people in customer service are all nice and friendly but all the customer service in the world doesn't do any good if you don't have jack shit to sell! Sorry about the negativity, but, you know, SUCKS. Ok, shoo devil. I'd rather tell jokes. (after I get back from any one of those dozens of hippie shops that always seem to have stuff in stock, usually cheaper) ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 4 months
Permalink

First off, note the time of the posts, I'm back in like two minutes - well, plus typing time, and deleting foul language. Googled "Grateful Dead Onesie" and the first stinkin' hit is SunshineJoy, and they have *lots* of onesies. They have all five that the deadnetstore have, err had, plus six others. No irritating "out of inventory" signs, and fifty cents cheaper each (that's just 3% cheaper, but still...). Doggonit. That's the only drawback, they have so many it's going to take me forever to decide which I like best. So many choices! doggonit. I feel like I'm cheating on a girlfriend. But it's cheating on a girlfriend that won't put out ;^D ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Ok, now I see what the uproar is about! The store ran out of the Egypt Blanket! The blanket! You can't run out of the blanket!!! It's winter!! Linus would not be happy with this. I will chalk it up to overwhelming demand for products representing the Gratest Band in the Land! Still think Linus is not happy. ;((
user picture

Member for

17 years 1 month
Permalink

heres a joke for ya to calm down with.so a man and a woman statue are in this park for about 50 years, modeled as a pair of young lovers. and so one day, and angel comes down and brings them to life. He says to em "since you have been such good statues, i have decided to grant you an hour of life. The statues approach each other slowly, smile, and make a mad dash for the bushes. After half an hour of much shaking and giggling coming form the bushes, they both emerge, looking rather dissheveled, but all smiles. The angel gives them a kind look and says, you know, you still have half and hour left. They turn to each other, and the female statue says, "alright, now you hold down the pigeon and ill shit on its head." Peace, The Kid
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

Kid your Quacking me up :)
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 4 months
Permalink

Good job, kid. So this woman took her toddler son to the zoo for the first time. They walk by the elephant pen, and there's a big bull elephant there munching away on some hay. "Mama, what kind of critter is that?" the boy asks. "That's a big boy elephant" replies the mother. The boy points at the elephant's trunk and asks "Mama, what's that thing the elephant is picking up the hay with?" and Mama says "why, that's the elephant's trunk. It's his big long nose that he picks up things with, and sometimes he uses it to give himself a shower." "Wow", says the boy, "and what are those big flappy things on the side of it's head?". "Why, those are his ears that he hears with, and sometimes he flaps them around to cool off." "Wow" says the boy again. The boy then points down between the bull elephant's legs at the large, you know, bull elephant thing hanging down there. "Mama, what's that thing hanging down there?" "Oh, son" replies Mama, "that's not anything. Now lets go get some ice cream." A few weeks later the boy's father takes him to the zoo, and like children do the boy asked his father the same questions (to see if they can't get different answers, sneaky little imps). They walk by the elephant pen and the bull elephant is there, munching away on hay. The boy begins with the questions. He asks his father about the elephant's trunk, and his father give the same answer as the mother had. The boy asks his father about the elephant's ears, and again the father gives the same answer as the mother had. The boy then points down between the elephant's legs and asks "Papa, what's that thing hanging down there?" and the father answers "Why son, that's the elephant's penis, which he uses to pee pee with, and to help the girl elephants make baby elephants". "But Papa, Mama said that's not anything." The father chuckles and says "Well, son, I kinda spoil your mother." ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
user picture

Member for

16 years 11 months
Permalink

is the funniest joke i have heard (heard?) in quite sometime. thank you, i really needed that
user picture

Member for

17 years 6 months
Permalink

TigerLily has moved back to Germany i wish her the best of luck, and hope everything goes well. I am now alone in South of spain Bob - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Spanish Jam
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

Sending you moving vibes, I hope all goes GRATE for you!!QUACK QUACK!! and all good things in all good time!
user picture

Member for

17 years 1 month
Permalink

best of luck and good vibes rene.mark, thats a great joke Peace, The Kid
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 4 months
Permalink

In spite of what you may have read, I try to maintain a positive attitude. Here are three reasons why today didn't suck so much. In no particular order: 1. I discovered that the Indian-operated Chevron gas station a few blocks from my apartment has an interesting selection of incense, quite of few of which appear to be authentically Indian and including nag champa - now I don't have to drive all the way to Electric Ladyland (a local headshop) to score smells. (this does have a big drawback, in that the employees at the headshop tend to be cute li'l alt.coeds; Raji at the gas station, although friendly, I do not find attractive) 2. I don't particularly care for either team playing Monday Night Football, so I won't be disappointed by whoever wins/loses (unlike most of Sunday's games) 3. My copy of Road Trips Vol. 2, No. 1 arrived today! Cheers! MarkintheDark ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
user picture

Member for

16 years 11 months
Permalink

the availability of cake and/or cookies. sorry...but..............ah, well
user picture

Member for

17 years 1 month
Permalink

daddy is going to go drink some scotch and have a cigar. cookies are on top of the fridge. if you can reach em, you can have em.Oh, and dont come crying to me when you get a bellyache form eating too many of em. Peace, The Kid
user picture

Member for

16 years 11 months
Permalink

where is the cake?
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 8 months
Permalink

watch out for phooey bird, don't wanna have to run from it!
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 4 months
Permalink

It's the Phoo Bird, capital P, capital B and its named should only be uttered with a hushed tone of fearful respect. You think not sending on a chain letter will jinx ya, you don't want to phuck with the Phoo Bird. Hey johnman, cookies and cake are basic food groups to me, so they didn't factor into the "why things didn't suck so much" equation - they're *always* available. When the Little Debbie stash gets down to half a cabinet it's time to go shopping. ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Sounds like Mark is not so in the dark bout cookies, and just may be a man after your own heart. Just know he's slaying me in this thread.********************************** Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live. Samuel Clemens
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 8 months
Permalink

can't figure out what "not sending on a chain letter means" I was just trying to be nice but from your tone I'll say phuck you and phooey.
user picture

Member for

17 years 6 months
Permalink

quick pop in from the road... en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wenonah,_New_Jersey#External_links please scroll down to the bottom of the page. gee whiz??!! I wonder how that got in there. good luck wiht the new place, Mom!! love and peace. yuk yuk yuk. love and peace.
user picture

Member for

16 years 11 months
Permalink

i don't see anything of interest at the bottom of the page.....'course, i trip over my doorstep every mornin', too!
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 4 months
Permalink

...because I am having a frozen pot pie, and the thought of a brand new Grateful Mom-run Italian market/deli/restaurant (note correct spelling) just made me focus on how pathetic a frozen pot pie for dinner really is. I will have to have many cookies for dessert. Good job CC. The Wiki-wonks will take it out though, they tend to be humorless that way. ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
user picture

Member for

16 years 11 months
Permalink

but i'd swear it wasn't there when i looked earlier, then again, i'd swear that a turkey pot pie ain't that bad with tobasco, shredded cheese, garlic salt, and 7 beers
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

I can't see it and thats not fair...what does it say!!!! OMG we were soo freaking busy these past daze!! We are so unprepared for the crowd!! But people were so nice and we are so grateful!! Im drinking some vino now trying to chill...we need help , send some helping vibes! Peace, Gigi