Grateful Dead

I like it

Kalini: Hi Honey, welcome home. How was your day job? Raj: Well Dear I was reassigned and am now doing the phone fulfillment for some music group called the Grateful Dead who have a website called Deadnet which is run by a Rhino and is a subsidiary of Warner Brothers Entertainment. Kalini: That all sounds very strange, are you sure that you are OK? Raj: No, I am not sure I am OK. Kalini: Well tell me all about it. Is Deadnet like Indra’s Web? What is Grateful Dead and what do Rhinos have to do with it? Raj: It seems that there are these people all over the world but mainly in the United States and Europe called Deadheads and they followed this music group called the Grateful Dead around for about 30 years so they could see their guru Jerry play guitar with the other Grateful Dead musicians. The Deadheads and the Grateful Dead all used to have long straggly hair like the holy men on the Ganges and they would smoke lots of hemp and the music would go on and on an on like a Ravi Shankar song. Some of them just lived to go to the shows by the Grateful Dead and didn’t like to work much and weren’t trying to get ahead like normal Americans. Kalini: Raj, I’m worried, are you getting involved in a cult? Raj: It kind of seems like it, I am not sure, I don’t know, it gets so confusing. These Deadheads keep saying things like cool, groovy, far out , dig it and man even though it is hot here and I don’t know what they are digging or asking me to dig. Kalini: Here have a cup of tea, that will help you. Raj: Is it organic? Kalini: What, you never cared before today, what is coming over you? Raj: I don’t know whenever I try to just relax and shut my eyes I keep seeing dancing bears and skulls with roses on their heads. At night I keep having these dreams where I am smashing an ice cream cone into my forehead. But I will get by, I told my boss “Don’t ease me in” to this job, it shouldn’t be too hard to handle, at least it is better than the other one. At least I know, My time coming any day, don't worry 'bout me, no Kalini: OK, I just don’t want your job to be run by a ship of fools, and that you aren’t just there for the money, money. If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. William Blake

........what?......

.... looking at the dead.net website these days it is easy to see how much traffic has fallen off since TD toured this spring. The tour translated into increased sales for the band but Rhino et.al. chose a crappy fulfillment team to partner with, partially based out of India. You have to ask yourself how stupid could they be wasting this momentum? Are they so stoned they can't make a rational decision? I know that based on the responses I've seen here that I'm never going to order as long as problems like this exist. Wait a second, I'm getting a call.... OK, now I understand. Uncle Duke has the contract and he is running the show out of Bezerkistan. ~ Cue balls made of styrafoam and no one's got the time ~

Of course, what was I thinking? I think I once had a layover there on the way to Slovenia. Thanks, Johnman, and what are you doing up at this ungodly hour of the morning?

it's right by lower slobovia

it's right by lower slobovia

If Mary is handling all of this "customer service", then she and Buddy's cousin may as well be getting paid to do all of the "fullfillment" as well. Dirkadirkastan...somewhere near Elbonia? Like most Americans, geography isn't one of my strengths. Continued thanks, Mary.

Marye blinks as a new message drops into her inbox. It’s from the Deadnet intranet. ‘Good news folks’ the message says ‘we’ve just announced the latest Grateful Dead box set on Deadnet’ ‘Good news for who?’ mutters Marye to her dogs, who somehow sense what is coming and cower in the corner. Marye goes into action. First thing she does is to find out who this week’s ‘Fulfilment’ company is and to put them on speed dial. Eeeek, how much does it cost to phone THERE? Favourite food delivery outfits also on the speed dial. A quick explanatory email to family and friends (they are used to it by now). Then it’s time to check the supply of herbal teas and other more powerful calming aids. Deep breathing, deep breathing. A dog shuffles up nervously looking for a comforting stroke. ‘It’s OK’ she says ‘it’s the waiting that’s the worst’ The clock ticks No point in putting it off any longer. Marye logs onto Deadnet. She cruises the forums and launches a couple of vines, but she knows that she is avoiding the inevitable. She takes a last deep breath, points and clicks: ‘Got Issues with Your Store Order?’ ;-)

my goodness how the sales side of this organisation makes life hard for itself and its customers. With just about every new release it is the same sorry mess 'Fullfillment' is a horrible word invented by US marketing hacks, but I don't think anyone is feeling fulfilled right now. Conversely the situation is best described by one of the best words invented in the USA: Clusterfuck. Marye you are the best: Where would we be without your help?