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  • johnman
    Joined:
    from underneath the bus, a muffled voice was heard
    " 'scuse me.....about these monkeys..."
  • gratefaldean
    Joined:
    Hippy
    Knew that he wanted nothing more than to put Bertha (the van) up on blocks and spend the rest of his days hanging with Bertha (the woman) on her thousand acres in Kansas. But the appearance of the rainbow, and Ripple's "Oz" brought him back to the reality of their mission. He turned to Bertha (the woman) and asked, "You haven't by chance seen Too-late Tony and Longhair Bob lurking in the area, have you?"...knowing full well that Tony had gotten a head start in this direction. Between the Eiffel Tower flood and windstorm, and their terrifying Atlantic crossing supported only by dental floss and drunken flying monkeys, they'd lost the Tony's trail and had no idea if Tony was ahead of them, or behind, in the race to Oz. "Too-late Tony? That 15-minute screaming idiot who crashed with you and Trapper in the Haight? What do you want with that doofus?"
  • johnman
    Joined:
    WHACK!!
    Bertha slapped him in the back of the head "pay attention, dangit"
  • gratefaldean
    Joined:
    It dawned on him
    That the sky colors were looking a bit more coherent than his prior microdot (or microbus, for that matter) experiences would lead him to expect. They appeared, in fact and despite the otherwise crystal-clear blue sky, to be coalescing into a rainbow that ended smack-dab in the middle of Bertha (the woman)'s field. "Oz..."
  • gratefaldean
    Joined:
    TL
    I think that my job here is to be the straightman for Johnman's punch lines. Or yours, Ripple's, and Mr Pid's, for that matter. Hey, I did manage to sneak in a mention of "Group W"... lettuce segue into the weekend with big-ass smiles on our faces!
  • Mr. Pid
    Joined:
    Just as
    Spoonful started wafting from Bertha(the van)'s speakers, Ripple tried to imagine gagging on the microbus of many colors, quickly realizing he'd much rather gag on a microdot of many colors, spoon or no. As the sky began to melt into a rather strange blend of hues, he paused to consider short person behavior in pedal-depressed, pan-chromatic resonances and other highly ambient domains. Just before he could manage an "Arf..." Conversation is always more interesting than recitation, so speak your mind and not someone else's.
  • TigerLilly
    Joined:
    LOL!
    gratefuldean and johnman-the comedic duo!! :) wonderful guys!********************************** By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's I mean. Mark Twain
  • johnman
    Joined:
    Ripple,....hiding behind the bus
    and waving away several monkeys attempting to land on his shoulders, kept as quiet as possible....knowing full well that the slug Hippy received was NOTHING compared to what Bertha was going to subject HIM to. "RIPPLE!!!!!" Bertha screamed, "come HERE, right NOW, you BASTARD!! I'm Gonna GAG you wif this DAMNED bus!!.....TOTALLY!!.......fer SHUR!!!!!"
  • johnman
    Joined:
    Hey!!
    Wasn't MY version....blame DEAN...but I did think it was funny as hell...oh....OK....I get it...fer SURE...TOTally
  • TigerLilly
    Joined:
    JOHNMAN
    your version of "native tongue" made me spew my tea all over my computer screen from laughing!!!!********************************** By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's I mean. Mark Twain
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17 years 5 months
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a tale in progress, by request
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17 years 4 months
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Every day I get in the queue (Too much, the Magic Bus)To get on the bus that takes me to you (Too much, the Magic Bus) I'm so nervous, I just sit and smile (Too much, the Magic Bus) Your house is only another mile (Too much, the Magic Bus) Thank you, driver, for getting me here (Too much, the Magic Bus) You'll be an inspector, have no fear (Too much, the Magic Bus) I don't want to cause no fuss (Too much, the Magic Bus) But can I buy your Magic Bus? (Too much, the Magic Bus) Nooooooooo! Pete Townshend
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17 years 4 months
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at the bottom of the rainbow was a pot of gold, and a bunch of very startled Oz Leprechauns, who were holding their ears in dismay at the vuvuzela fanfare.********************************** I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Wilde
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14 years 3 months
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monkeys did not like the look of the leprechauns and eyed them suspiciously,the fanfare subsided and ripple asked one of the leprechauns to point him in the direction of the great wizard,the leprachauns took off swiftly they did not like the look of the ripple and his hippy.Off flew the monkeys in search of the great wizard,ripple just sat,too much the magic bus.......
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16 years 10 months
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the monkeys and leprechauns stopped what they were doing. They all had a shocked and dismayed look on their little faces as if a great disturbance had occurred.......somewhere....far away in the lad of ill ah noyeee a strong, wise, and kind heart stopped beating, and they somehow knew things had changed forever though they knew not why....... (for your daddy, Tigerlilly....we love you!!)
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17 years 4 months
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on this story??********************************** I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Wilde
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16 years 10 months
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but I think there was something about a collision between monkeys and reindeer........
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17 years 4 months
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I've though about it a little lately, have been too holidaze-lazy to do more than that.
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17 years 3 months
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haven't really been following this topic just thought every would like to know that the flyin monkey is a theater in plymouth , nh ....maybe they all decided to go into acting after all they did star in the wizard of oz www.flyingmonkeynh.com
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16 years 10 months
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so THAT'S where the nest is......
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17 years 4 months
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I thought someone had picked up this thread again. I had a scene in my head about the van tooling down the Golden Road (aka Yellow Brick Road)...but hadn't figured out exactly where it was headed. Hmmm....flying monkeys.
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The mission was on. The road that runs through Oz (known as "the Yellow Brick Road," and by some, "The Golden Road") is nigh on impossible to navigate for the novice. The are no maps, few signs or dividing lines, and very few rules to guide. The roads themselves have a habit of dead-ending without warning; circling back on themselves; and scarier still, a path that leads to Point A one day may lead to Point B, or Z for that matter, days, weeks, or years later. This basic unreliability meant that in order to have a prayer of getting to where you want to go, you need to bring a boatload, a damn supertanker load, of experience and intuition to the process. Bertha (the woman) possessed both in spades. Not only had she made hundreds of trips over Oz hill and dale, but she could always tell the deuces from the aces in a deck of cards, easily avoided the Suicide Jack, and under her gaze, the Queen of Diamonds would shine like the sun. Bertha (the woman) therefore found herself at the wheel of Bertha (the van), Hippy riding shotgun, various and sundry of the crew piled into the back, and a group of flying monkeys settled atop the roof. Though Hippy had driven the van millions of miles, Bertha (the woman) had logged more than a few hundred thousand behind the wheel herself, spelling Hippy during their trips through the desert, taking the wheel when he was seeing double during many a San Fransiscan night. Though a few decades had passed since she'd planted her butt in that driver's seat, Bertha felt right at home. Bertha depressed the clutch, turned the key, gave the old van some gas, let out the clutch. Bertha (the van) lurched forward about 3 feet and stalled out. Bertha's clutch, you see, had a miniscule (some would say microscopic) sweet spot: if you didn't hit it and finesse it just right, your trip in Bertha was bound to be confined to a series of very annoying three-foot forward lurches...assuming that you were on level ground. Bertha (the woman) turned to Hippy and said, "You've been keeping this bucket of bolts running for close to half a century and you NEVER FIXED THE FRIGGIN' CLUTCH??" Hippy chuckled for a few seconds, then responded, "C'mon Bertha, of COURSE I fixed it. Problem is, when I got it just exactly perfect, I hated it. You have no idea how long it took me to fine tune it back to the way it was before I started 'fixing' the sucker." Bertha (the woman) touched Hippy's hand and gave him a great big smile, and Hippy's heart melted a little bit more than just a little. She cranked up the van's engine again, popped the clutch, and smoothly shifted through the gears up to cruising speed. "Just like riding a bicycle," she said, right pleased and amazed at the wonders of muscle memory. "We're off to see the Wizard!" she exclaimed, more out of tradition than intent. Thus the crew began its journey down the Golden Road: Bertha's eyes fixed on the road, confidently making decisions at each fork and crossroads, Hippy's eyes fixed on Bertha, the monkeys playing five-card stud on the roof, and everyone else in the back cranking Dead tunes and playing video games. Bertha (the woman)'s good mood slowly dissipated. It started when she began to notice that the surrounding fields and forests were encroaching on the road: in some places, the yellow bricks were visible only as narrow tracks. Infrastructure problems in Oz were unheard of, and Bertha had no idea why the road wasn't being maintained. And then, They faced a vast cornfield, and the road forked wide, right and left. An empty scarecrow stand was directly ahead of them, and though there was a sign at the juncture, it characteristically and unhelpfully pointed nowhere in particular. Bertha stopped the van. She felt nothing, no inkling of the direction to take. She stuck her head out the window and said something to the flying monkeys. Immediately two monkeys folded their hands and flapped up from the van. One headed left, one headed right down the road. Bertha (the woman) looked at Hippy and said, "Hippy, something is very wrong here. I've sent those two to do some recon for us, but I have a bad feeling that we may never see them again. We need to be thinking about what to do if they don't come back, because this very well could be...the end."
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15 years 2 months
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The end of what, many might ask....
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17 years 4 months
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For this story, so I thought I'd bring it to an end...but made sure it wasn't really an end to the story, just in case someone might like to pick it up again at a later date.
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....were actually reeper and predator drones designed to fool he Taliban. by locating the yellow brick road and it's adjacent crops. This they did very well and returned with a light "thud" to the bus where they were fed terminator remnants. Now, there were good and bad flying monkeys and the micro-bus had unfortunately discovered the wrong kind. What was called for now were empathetic healing flying monkey drones to replenish the crops.and bring peace to the kingdom, hippy & bertha.
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14 years 3 months
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the beginning or the end? thought thease monkeys flew off months ago are they back
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17 years 4 months
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Another opens, Ripple. Is it the end or the beginning? I dunno...I felt as if the thing had kind of petered out, and I'm not sure that I want to follow the Taliban into the plot, but hey, who knows?
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14 years 3 months
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the taliban have no place in here brother, thinking about a new story just now!!!!1
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17 years 4 months
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For a cookie and a beer, though the way today is going, beer should come first, and often.
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16 years 10 months
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then a cookie, washed down with a beer. Repeat as necessary.
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17 years 4 months
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Spammer has hijacked our story....release the flying monkeys!!
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17 years 4 months
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perhaps Ripple's wanting to throw a huge white wedding for one of the monkeys, who fell in love. :) ********************************** I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Wilde
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17 years 4 months
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You can gussy up a flying monkey in a wedding dress, but I'm thinking that the phrase "beautiful bride" will not get much use during or after the ceremony.
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17 years 4 months
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well I would hope that the lucky monkey's husband-to-be finds her to be a beautiful bride in her spammy wedding dress ;)********************************** I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Wilde
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17 years 5 months
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I don't think that counts within the spirit of fictional improvisation. Out it goes.
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17 years 4 months
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Is, as you may not know, considered a delicacy among flying monkeys. But there's nothing delicate about the winged apes' reaction to this traditional "mystery meat" product. Just a hint, a glimpse of an iconic blue can of spam will set them to tying napkins (or any substitute scrap of fabric, including wedding dresses) around their necks in eager anticipation of feasting on this salty treasure. Once the can is open, the monkeys will engage in a feeding frenzy the likes of which should not be witnessed in a family-friendly story such as this. Yes, flying monkeys do love their spam. And for those who would like to see spam erased from this world, virtual and real, I say again, release the flying monkeys!!
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17 years 4 months
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thank you for that informational tidbit, Dean! :) Let the flying monkeys have a spam frenzy-and rid us of this plague indeed!********************************** I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Wilde
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17 years 4 months
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And figured I'd percolate this now very-much-out-of-sequence funtime project back up to the top of the Forum list to say it. Anyone heard from him since he lost his internet connection? I hope things are going better... For that matter, ripple70 disappeared pretty suddenly, without warning, as well, and I can't say that I've seen Mr Pid in these parts of late either. Get back to where you once belonged....
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i wonder about a lot of handles that come and go
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17 years 4 months
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That there's some number of Dead.net users who reinvent themselves with a new "nomme de mort," new avatar, new profile? I'm in kind of a "shedding my skin" mood myself...
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16 years 10 months
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Got connection back via smartphone about 2.5 years ago, though getting into dead.net was close to impossible. I now have a laptop, but using hotspot on my phone still allows me only limited access due to time constraints. Had to move in with my father when he could no longer care for himself. The 55 and up community he lives in had free cable and internet, but dropped those amenities not long after I acquired the laptop, hence the use of Hotspot/wi-fi...time will tell if our finances improve...nice being back, though this device works different than my home PC. Still learning....
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12 years 4 months
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is nice to have around, johnman. I hope you get lots of beer and cookies from Santa this year. Do you leave out beer and cookies for Santa? That would kinda make it Even-Steven, I would think.