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  • crypticalmystic
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    Me again!
    Anyone...I mean anyone...that would like to contact me and talk can e-mail me at crypticalmystic@yahoo.com Later ya'll.
  • crypticalmystic
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    Looking for Community,Kindess, and Love
    It's been a while since I have involved myself in any type of Grateful Dead forum. A visit from a friend and a weekend of GD DVD's inspired an overwhelming urge to reconnect. I was a newbie, I started touring in 1990 and saw The Boy's off and on until Jerry's passing. I tried to hang on for Further, The Other Ones, and The Dead but as we all know....times have changed. Although I picked up from my days with the Dead an amazing path of discovery...I also picked up drug addiction. I tried to start a family, tried to make it in babylon, but I picked up opiates (pharmies) and I fell...and fell hard. Even though it is difficult...it is all part of the path...and I am better off for it. I am clean..I am sober...and I am now a Wharf Rat...never woulda thunk it! Watching those videos inspired me. I miss all of you. I... love...all of you, and I need to reconnect with my family. Sitting in this boring old town of 16000 people I realize how few of us there really are, although then I thought we were going to take over the world :). It's kinda sad that we have to rely on a cybercommunity but beggers can't be choosers. I know it's still out there...but it's alot tougher than any time in history (just ask the old schoolers what they thought of us newbies). But I absorbed something, and I live with it everyday. I wish to make some new friends here, and in particular those who understand the ramifications and consequences of drug addiction. Along with the drug addiction, I have had a string of unhealthy relationships. And I don't mean to debase this forum as simply a place to "hook up", but I am looking for that sunshine daydream that contains all of the light that the Grateful Dead personified. Drug addiction and unhealthy thinking has jaded my perception of the American woman, and I had a flash that If anyone had the kind of understanding, compassion, and light that I needed it would be a wharf rat that could restore my faith in a female. I'm a 36 year old male with a passion for philosophy and esoteric religion (throw in some conspiracy theory) who is seeking a Sugar Mag ,preferably an old schooler who saw the boys in the seventies or eighties, that would like to be my friend and/or promulagate a relationship. I also look forward to making some friends here along the way. With all Love, Light, and Laughter................Crypticalmystic
  • TennesseeTed
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    Greetings
    Checking in as I'm new to this site. I saw 13 shows back in 86-88. I got sober in 89. 20 years later, I'm on board for the DC and Charlottesville shows in April! How do I find you guys at the shows? Much love, Ted
  • mona
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    2 balloons
    thanx dancer. i havent thought of that song in years. saw jerrry joseph here in portland yrs ago.theres another song that hits close too. need to get that CD again. talk about a god shot!
  • spindancer
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    two balloons
    I find the conversation here inspiring. As one who lost some friends along the way, and knowing many on this forum had their own brushes, I thought I would post the lyrics to a favorite Jerry Joseph tune - a kind of reminder and tribute to our journey: I got two balloons - a red one and a white one well, I found them underneath somebody's tongue Two balloons - a means to find my courage well, it's easier and cleaner than a gun I lie to you - and everybody else I know I'm embarrassed to acknowledge I am well And I fear the truth - and lie at every meeting it's important to impress you with the chill - with the chill If I could give you any gift I'd give you strength and comfort in your eyes But I left my higher power and I did not have the nerve to say goodbye - say goodbye If I could fly I'd make like a coyote well, I'd try to shake the shame like it's a trap Afraid to die - while killing myself slowly it means paying less attention to the map - to the map Girl, I'd love to tell you something but I haven't got the words you wanna hear so I sit here with my balloons - a painless way to kill a couple years - a couple years And I will try to cool my head and calm my heart Well, I know that it will kill me but I hope that I can own it in the end til then I'll be proud and happy to consider my balloons my only friends - only friends I got two balloons - a red one and a white one well, I found them underneath somebody's tongue Two balloons - a means to find my courage cuz it's easier and cleaner than a gun I got two balloons... -Jerry Joseph on "Love and Happiness" (lyrics might be a little off, but close - this is the way I play it these days, anyway)
  • matty75hartford
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    anyone sober for hartford in april?
    Started touring in '88 had good times, been sober since 12/26/07 i needed that miracle! now with tour coming I'm really afraid, want to go soooo bad but can't jeapordize my second chance at life- matty
  • dancingblondiebear
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    springtour
    hi yallis anyone going to be manning table? if you're interested in a glitter supply, let me know. peace, blondie
  • mona
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    wharfrat in portland
    newbie to net and having hard time contacting info on web site. anybody could PM me info for NW rats, newsletter chats, online of f2 meetings would be great! see u at shoreline!
  • mona
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    freinds of the wharf rats
    m.barcadero that is one of the funniest stories ive heard in a long time! my first show me and ex tripping around and saw a big circle at the concert. dude stood up and said hi my name is.... and i havent done..........for 6 mo. we looked at each other and exclaimed dead AA??? of corse now i know all about. :)
  • hippiechickmom
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    hey guys!!!
    Well, I did my second lead last night...it was grate!!! Looking soooo forward to April. Anywayz, grate to meet u 2 UL, I think I fixed my pm, will u try again 2 c if it works...Peace, love, n sobriety!!! ttyl-gratefully-hcm
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17 years 5 months
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Welcome, Wharf-Rats.
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17 years 5 months
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gawd I hope not, or I'm gonna have one weird weekend. It's Hookahville....
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17 years 2 months
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maybe i shoulda called it "hubbaville"-nah, just messin' around-i'm familiar w/the boys, back to when they played the Bear Creek Fests b4 they cut any disks-worked stage crew at the Ledges (set up & tear down) when they played there somewhere early 2000's-never went to a show specifically to see them, for one reason or another they just never tripped my trigger it'd be worth going just to see DSO + some other Family & Phriends though-funds are sorta low, i don't vend like i used to, & to be perfectly honest i just ain't been in the right headspace lately to be in what can be a pretty crazy place-as much as it feels right to be back w/Family, it's still a bit strange to be at a show clean-i sometimes have to remind myself to breathe & listen to the music play, rather than runnin' around crys'ed out chasin' custies & the almighty $ i've only been to one show since i got clean 3yrs ago, 1st year out of necessity, & since then the details just haven't come together right-i know i'll make the ones i'm supposed to though, things happen the way they're meant to, maybe right this moment just ain't my time-as much as i dislike it sometimes, i've realized if i just participate in the movie, rather than trying to direct it, it works out a lot better-hope all y'all that make it there have a blast-be safe, love each other, & do a little jig for me peace, hoss
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17 years 5 months
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I'll dance a fine jig, just for you. and congrats on 3 years clean-time. That's great!
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17 years 2 months
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thanks izzie, & thanks for having a section for us rats here thanks to the resta y'all too, just for postin' here-i been strugglin' a bit lately, having trouble enjoyin' life like i should & havin' trouble finding the courage to change the things i can-gotten sorta burnt out on NA in my area, so it's nice to find another way to stay in contact w/those in recovery-i know it's all just feelings, & they'll pass like everything else, but it's gettin' sorta old puttin' one foot in front of the other day after day-oh well, at least it ain't as bad as it used to be, a dopeless hope fiend is a better place to be than a hopeless dope fiend
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17 years 3 months
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Good job on the 9 mos. Headlight, and 3 yrs. Hoss. I found a new meeting last night, first time, and got a desire chip. Awright!
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17 years 2 months
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Hey all. I found this place thanks to Hoss. I am new in recovery and am looking learn more about the wr's. Have seen the table for years and always knew I should have stopped and opened up. oh well. I am here now!! Anyone out there in ne ohio? Y-town area? peace, Shappy
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17 years 2 months
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arthur & shappy, WELCOME HOME!-good to have ya here arthur-if you want it, last nite can be your "last 1st" mtg-it can be done, there is hope-look at all the cats here, we're proof shappy-glad to meet another OH Rat-don't worry about the shoulda, coulda kind of thing-to quote the NABT, "it's not where we were, but where we are going" i'm sure a lot of y'all already know, but for those that don't, there's wharfrats.org too-not tryin' to take anything away from this site, it's just another place to hook up, & personally, i need all the help i can get-love y'all hoss
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17 years 1 month
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hey now, sorry to post sad news, but a true brother & friend of ours has passed away. atleast hes in a better place now, hanging with pappa, & other lost old friends/phamily.. anyway: there is a memorial being planned for him for this snday in chicago at either grant park, or @ cricket hill @ montrose harbor beach... porbably a drum circle/picnic type thing... all are welcome, whether you new him personally, or just crossed paths through the years... thanks again for your thoughts & prayers... peace & music : jcap
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Sorry it has taken soo long to get on the site,I signed up a while ago and by the time I got around to posting I forgot my original password and changed computers.Anyway LOVE TO LL!Ratdog Tables rocked this summer in Ohio.I didn't do Hookahville DSO.Anyone I might run into at Vegoose?Umphries,Randolph,Franti and moe are all playing.Any Happy Hour Heroes doing the gig?Hoss,Maybe we couldcoordinate,not organizeAbout the campout,Momma T has a powwow in Indiana annually and there is a Hippie HoeDown in Indianapolis.Peace, Lefty
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My first show was Dec. 29, 1968. Last drink/buzz Apr. 23, 1983. Next show RD Nov. 17, 2007. Thanks to 12 steppers, Wharf Rats, cool people with their heads on straight, and all my friends I'm still truckin and not pushing the flowers up from the brown side of the ground. "When I die bury me deep, put two speakers at my feet, pair of ear phones on my head, and always play The Grateful Dead."
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17 years 4 months
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Hey Now....Life just gets better and better. First show 3/7/81 Colefield House last hopefully won't be for long time. After rough ending which included getting out of the scene. Last drink on Jerry's B-day 8/1/1999, Now I get to see as much music as time allows. AA,NA, Wharfrats,Jellyfish, and any other yellow balloon fly'n gets my attention. Here in D.C. we love our sobriety and our music....come visit.
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17 years 1 month
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just about 7months 5yrs ago i had news yrs tics for philand friends,but cause wasnt sober still badly in my cups couldnt even thumb from sac to sanfran....,needless to say i finally made it back in to the rooms of aa!!!25yrs in and out.im grateful to have hooked up w/sober heads their i remember all the dead/other shows seeing the ballons,only reson i new what they where cause of things ive read.wow tell ya its been one long strange trip.i often wonder if jerry made it to aa/na if he would still physically be w/use.this disease takes many..very grateful to be alive and sober today.thanks WR'S,for being here when i got here. peace and gods grace to you all. heathaafeathaa
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17 years 4 months
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HippieChuck-hey everyone!i kind of been slippin and slidin' the past 2 years,been clean for the past few months on my own.i saw some of the new l.i. wharf rats at ratdog and allmans show at jones beach n.y..i should be o.k. i am happy most of the time now,and have alot of good things goin that i never had before.also,i would love to see if anyone is willing to trade some jerry band and/or allman bro shows.i lost a large portion of my collection a while ago,so i would love to add some more.contact me at:jesushippiecc@yahoo.com or send me a private message.hope to hear from y'all soon.-hippiechuck..a.k.a.-booby
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17 years 1 month
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well doesnt seem like you wr's are around.way to go hippiechuck.maybe sometimr they'll be other wr's here.humm?!!!have a blast at ratdog/allmans,i bet thats going to be a hell of a show.hook up w/some wr's.maybe youll have better luck their.lol..peace bro
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17 years 5 months
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Back in the day, I could really enjoy a good buzz. Today I enjoy life with my family. My age has alot to do with that I think. I don't know for sure, but I think someone or some being told me it was time to grow up. I still have a few drinks or beers from time to time, but nothing like back in the eighties and early nineties. Peace everyone and take care of yourselves!
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17 years 4 months
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People like you really tick me off. I spent much of my life trying to figure out how to have "a few drinks or beers from time to time." Never could figure out why others seemed to be able to do it but I could not. I'm one of those all-or-nothing kind of guys. (Actually it's more like all-then-nothing) Hope you know I'm just kidding about being ticked off. Society needs strong family men like you. I always knew that was who I should be, it just took me 30 years to find a new way to live. Thanks for keeping the wheels on the bus while I was wandering around in the dark. Peace, Richard
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17 years 5 months
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Welcome aboard. Everyone has a direction, just some maps are a little harder to fold than others!!
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17 years 4 months
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Has anybody noticed wharfrat.org is not working? I dont even know if anyone checks up on it any more. Peace and recovery, Lopez
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17 years 1 month
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thanks for the input..and welcome aboard,humm,welli kinda have to agree w/richard,it took me 25 yrs most of it last 15 was absolute hell.been ripped back from the gates of hell for over 5tyrs now.. i now for myself my sobriety is agift!!!and i protect it like as such.one thing ive learned to apply daily is the traditions in A.A..and heres a great oppertunity,however steve-o people like you i have one thing to say 'IF A PERSON CAN QUIT DRINKING ON A NON SPIRITUAL BASIS NOT A REAL ALCOHOLIC'.!!!!!!!be grateful.......did i make myt poin ?
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17 years
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thanks for yalls support been clean 2 ahalf years and been to some shows clean still love the music the people and the dancin great meeting in charletville lots of love
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17 years 5 months
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There was a point?
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17 years 1 month
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you did miss the point.that speaks volums.a real alcoholic/addict does not have a choice weather we drink/or put drugs in our body.we dont have a choice WE LOST IT!!society still does not educate on the disease.which takes many lives.a wharfrat is a sober head.that does not mean we use drugs or alcahol on ocassion or once in awhil.we canot put in or it sets a phenomonien of craving off for us.it is a deadly disease.im grateful you are one of the few that does not have this allergy.i almost died several times od had no clue ya think i woke up on day and said i think ill go od.this is a seriouse illness.most do not make it.i do not go in these on line "sober chat rooms "i thaught oh this will be cool,i once again learned do not negate intuition.im not tryin to be rude to you in fact when surffing other sites i enjoy you sharing.well peace,and i hope maybe i get the air cleared of bad energyi guess i figured out why their is hardly any new threads posted here.peace, heathaafeathaa
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17 years 1 month
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sorry their is two post on same thing first onis when i responded to you Steav_O i was heated.then they didnt put my post up so i wrote another one "calmned down",and posted it then they both got submited??? peace heathaafeathaa
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17 years 4 months
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You might want to back off a little. Nobody is attacking you. As far as choice goes...Nobody ever held a gun to my head and made me drink or do dope. I never slipped and fell into a bottle, a pipe or a needle. I chose to do those things. I chose to do 'em over and over again. There were times when I felt like I had no choice, but I was wrong. Society doesn't owe me squat. If anybody owes, it is me. Maybe it was different for you, I don't know. But as a friendly suggestion, you may want to read up a little on the steps and traditions. Particluarly step 10 and tradition 12. Steve-O strikes me as a nice guy who was just trying to be friendly and supportive. Peace, Richard
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17 years 4 months
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HippieChuck-got to tell ya',i was drinkin' on and off ,not too bad!i thought i was clean,havin' a few now and again......well now i am doin' it when i dont want to,that really sucks!i am connecting with old friends though,gonna give recovery another shot....anyone got garcia or allmans shows for discs and postage?...i'll check in if i have any new developments......
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17 years 4 months
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HippieChuck-see that,i thoght i could have a fewonce in a while,now i am struggling.i think alot of you have got it just a little off.it doesnt matter what you share,how much you value your sobriety,or anything else like that...it is a god thing,you have to be right w/god...i know alot of people who did all the right things,were well respected for their time and wisdom,and guess what ,they too arent around sobriety today,some have died....alot of the people around would give me the cold shoulder when i slipped,and then it happened to them.i hope this doesnt make anyone mad,i am not tryin' to do that.i truly love you all.it dont matter,nobody has more than 1 day....peace n love-hippiechuck
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17 years 5 months
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you know the deal-people, places, and things, man. do the right thing. it's okay, not one of us is perfect. i hope you have a lot of good support out there. we all have another drunk or high in us, but how many recoveries to we have in us???peace and good luck nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile
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17 years 5 months
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Didn't realize this was a club I HAD to join. My life is my problem or blessing whichever I CHOOSE to make it. Peace and take care of yourselves!
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17 years 4 months
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We all struggle from time to time. Dont forget to call your sponser, and find a meeting.Keep coming back! peace.
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17 years 1 month
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ive been wanting to get back here to post this to you .i just want to say that i took what was said out of context,and what was said absolutly,is not my buisness.and im going to say again i was wrong and i may have caused some harm here infact ,by giving feedback based on my experiense.i'll mind my own buisness,sorry for the harms caused. peace,heathaafeathaa
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17 years 1 month
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thanks for sharing that.the night i posted that i went to a stepstudy i go to on wed.and it was Trad.12.in fact i shared about this at mtg,leval,and i did do a 10th on it w/my sponser.so i no i was in the wrong.and more came out of it "that needed to be inv.so thanks for sharing,and 12 stepping me. peace,heathaafeathaa
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17 years 4 months
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Hey heathaafeathaa,That was awesome! Thanks for providing a great example of humility in action. Makes me proud to call you my brother. How's that for some irony? I'm proud of your humility. Just goes to prove that we have no idea what will happen next as we "trudge the road of happy destiney." Peace, And Keep coming back, Richard
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17 years 1 month
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yah nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen.its amazing that these are the kinds of lessons ive ,experienced along the way.one of my fav things from the 12/12 in step 7im gonna try to paraphrass itas long as i place self first the true reliance upon a higher power is out of the question.basic ingrediant off all humility is a desier to do and seek gods will..so thank you again for smashing my ego!!and you keep trudging the happy road of destiny. peace,heathaafeathaa p.s. that would be your sista..lol.
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17 years 4 months
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Sista, Huh?Guess I'll have to schedule another appointment to have my foot removed from my mouth. Peace, Richard
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17 years 5 months
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Thanks for the apology. Peace everyone. TAKE CARE!!!
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17 years 1 month
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your welcome.i should add a thanks to you for helping me grow up!!have a good one.peace to you.heathaafeathaa
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17 years 1 month
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nah. back on the east coast they used to use that term alot.so i would say it's in worcester mass.were im origanally from we for some reason do not pronounce our kind of were i came up w/sreen name my ol Micmac grandfather used to call me feather.so i combo it.anyhow take care.keep coming back. peace,heathaafeathaa
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17 years
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can someone point me in the direction to some fellow heads in the St. Louis area. PM's are fine, just looking to get into a group with friends that I can relate to :) -dy
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17 years 1 month
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im from ca,dude so cant help you in that area.check these post and maybe somone will reply,to your area.i'll keep an eye around the sites aswell for you. take it easy.peace,heathaafeathaa
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17 years 2 months
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hey y'all, finally had a chance to check back (computer/virus thingy) & saw 32 new messages since i last posted-sweet-still truckin' on, tryin' not to isolate but not doin' to well at that good to hear from ya uncle lefty, i'm definately up for helping to coordinate a WR campout this summer-CHECK YOUR PM's, sending one your way-sorry if it takes a few minutes to get back, since the Evil Computor is down, my access is sorta limited been feelin' pretty spun lately-just don't have much sense of direction or motivation-i haven't been getting what i need from the meetings i attended, so i'm taking a short break trying to regroup-it seems like i'm just putting one foot in front of the other but not really gettng anywhere-from experience i know "this too will pass", i just wish i would pass soon dangit! signing off the grid for now, wharfrathoss
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17 years 2 months
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Hey Now ,..lets get all the NJ headz together and start a wharf rat meeting in N NJ lets make it happen ....."all good things in all good time "
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17 years 4 months
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Hi I'm 21 yrs a wharf rat ... I have a design in the competition for the ratdog t shirt..Please vote for your favorites on ratdog.org on home page under " so many choices" where you'll see link to votemine is the colorful watercolor portrait of Bobby and the band..thanks, Carla
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17 years 5 months
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hey WRs - I had an emailed request about maybe doing something about some Wharf-Rat meetings. emails are always cool, by the way. what about it? Those in the know of WR meetings or at least WR-friendly meetings in your areas, or even in other areas that you know about, how about dropping their names here, so local brothers and sisters can get a hand?
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17 years 5 months
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i don't think there are any wr meetings in my locale-NE pennsylvania. i wish there were. anybody know of any?? i bet jersey is the closest. nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile
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17 years
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i enjoyed the wharfrats support allman brothers ratdog nissan pavillion,phil lessh in charlotville where were y'all at ratdog in charlotte n.c. this go around...still made it clean would have gone by myself glad i didnt WHAT UP!!!!!!!
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16 years 11 months
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10 months ago, I realized that my 15 year "self-search" aka...Relapse, was not turning up anything new that I thought I might find. What it did turn up was, new drugs for me to succumb to, old ones too, many jobs, new love ( that my drug addiction stripped from me), a child that I have not seen in over 10 years, a few bumps and bruises, and a lot of friggin pain. So, I got back on the bus and began my journey into recovery once again. Fortunately, I was able to be involved with the Wharf Rats in the late 80's, early 90's. In fact, I did a couple tours where I was the guy going in early and setting up our tables and signs. 91-92, I think it was. What a joy it is to have been involved in such a wonderful experience. I even remember a show at Alpine Valley when we had a meeting before the show, right by the backstage gates. In cognito, bob and mickey attended our meeting and graced us with a twenty dollar donation. The support we received from the band and the family helped us maintain a somewhat structured group of recovering dead heads that is still alive and kickin'. Even after my relapse, I still went by every Wharf Rats meeting to see if any of my friends were there. They were always able to reach a hand out to me, even though I would not reach back. I have since lost touch with all but one of them. The one who is still in recovery in my area. The rest have moved on, or relapsed. Some have died and some are still clean, but I don't know where they are. I thought this would be a good place to start my search. As my employer already knows I am in recovery and I am not running for office, I will break my anonimity here in the hopes of rekindling some of those friendships. My name is Scott Remson...from Old Tappan, NJ and I miss you guys. You know who you are and I hope you're ok. I will be going to see Darkstar Orchestra this friday in NYC (11/23/07). I hope there is a Wharf Rats meeting there and I hope to see some old friends and make some new ones. Until then.....let the good times roll......and stay clean!!!!
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17 years 1 month
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thank you for sharing .i have 5 yrs and 8 months.every time i hear the stories 'it never changes,and im one who it took over 25 yrs 20 of them in and out of the rooms.none of which had any sobriety.it never changes your soul/spirit get sicker and sicker!!i hopr you are spiritually bankrupped,and you take the necassry actions to stat sober which is more than just tradition 3.thatis definetly a requirment.keep trudiging the golden road!!!take care brother. peace