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    marye
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    Since the original topic now has hundreds of introductions and is getting a bit hard to navigate, this seems as good a time as any to launch a new one. The original is here, should you wish to catch up on the who's who since this opened up in May. If you haven't introduced yourself yet, please do! And if you already have, but have something new to tell us about you and your life, speak up! (A bit of housekeeping business so we don't have to repost everything we posted before--izzie and I are the moderators here, and for our more extensive intros see the original topic.) Thanks and welcome!

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  • brenodo
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    Greetings from VA
    Howdy gang. Just got in from the DC show and my short and to the point review of that is: "I went in with an open mind and low expectations and I walked out with a big smile on my face and pep in my step..." I'm male, 42, I am a live music addict and a recovering Phish head (joke). I started to see the Dead in the 1980's and lost a bit of my love soon after Brent passed, and really fell out of touch after Jerry passed. I have worked in the music industry and had the great pleasure of working with some the Dead's crew and staff on the 1997 Further Festival with the band moe. I have no idea how many shows I have seen, never cared to count. Seen shows all over the country and thought I'd poke my head in here and say hello. Tonight's show in DC was a whole lot of fun for me, some great playing all around mixed in with some mistakes and a lot of new ways to look at old songs. I have to admit that the players that stood out to me tonight were the back line, the drummers, man did they smoke tonight, I was also really impressed with Warren and Jeff as well. Not to take anything away form Bobby or Phil, but Jeff and Warren really fit in nicely with the other guys. It was nice to see Wavy Gravy up on stage for set 2, he was dancing in his chair and had a big smile on his face. Tipper Gore on drums! Anyway, Hello everyone! Thanks for this little piece of heaven in our mixed up world. Peace! Brendan
  • Diva27la
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    My sweetie Greg and I will be going to our first Dead concert on May 9th at the Forum in Inglewood [LA]. I told him that I wanted to give him a new experience in sobriety for his birthday this year, and the experience was going to be our first Wharf Rats meeting ;-). [Him-sober 7 years and counting; me-sober 6 years and counting.] I don't really know what to expect, of course, and will venture over to the Wharf Rats section to get suitably educated, but wanted to wave hello here. *waves hello* My mom died a little over a year ago and for about 5 months I worked on an assemblage piece based on Box of Rain that got me through the bulk of my grief. For that song alone I will be forever grateful to Phil Lesh and Robert Hunter. Cheers, Nancy "Today we're going to teach poodles to fly."-Raul Hernandez, UHF
  • marye
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    jazzkitten
    if you haven't already posted in the Wharf Rats topic, please do!
  • MamaTried71
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    Hey all
    Hey all, Dustin from Wilkes-Barre, PA here......It's been along time 87-92 since I have been around the scene or the music.....Couldn't pass up the chance not to see the dead in my own back yard....There has been alot bad buzz about this venue and why they picked it, but I assure you it will be a cool time for all....The town is great and has alot of following. If anyone needs help getting around or help in general let me know.....This is going to really bring back some memories from a long time ago.....
  • Jazz Kitten
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    Looking for Help in Philly
    Hey All, Tammy from Philly, PA here, 78 days sober, my 1st sober show will be in Philly Sat May 2nd and i'm nervous, looking for wharfrats to help me stay sober and dance the night away. Please contact me so i don't have to sell my ticket out of fear, i had to give up all of my ppl, places and things. Jazzkittenpoet@yahoo.com
  • danceswithbears
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    Hey Y'all
    My name is Ken, I've been jumpin' around the site for a while and figured this would be a good time to introduce myself. I live in Boston now, but when I was still a teen I hung out with a guy that always spoke about the dead, the only thing I knew about them was my older sister had what I know now as "long strange trip" before 8 tracks were extinct. I knew a bit about music like santana, airplane, allmans, hendrix ect, and heard very little of them on the radio. I didnt quite know what to make of them, then when he played st.stephen from a live show he had, I pushed my way on the bus. My first show was 10/9/84 in Worcester, Mass. when we got there I felt right at home. I was really amazed, this wasnt a concert this was an event. I wanted more. I had been a long time fan of the beatles and when the encore was revolution my mind was blown. My last Jerry show was highgate 95, With many great memories and shows in between,The scene of course had changed alot since my first show, and even in boston it seems there are less heads than back 20 years ago. I went to Penn state to see the boys back in oct. where for part of the show I was in the uppers, then behind the rythym devils for the rest. Billy was a riot, pretending like he was scared to jump off the stage and all. I look forward to the 2 shows in Worcester this year making it almost just about 25 years ago at the same venue when this beautiful journey began. Look forward to seeing Y'all soon."peace is ONLY idealistic to those who believe it to be so" Peace, Love and Hugs,
  • Darkshire
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    Hi all
    I don't know exactly what to write... I'm a pretty simple woman, so here is the story of how I just became a deadhead. I seem to have found out in 2009 that I am a deadhead. I suppose this could have happened long ago - people have long told me I would have made a great hippie and that I would love San Francisco, etc. But truth be told I didn't actually like the first Grateful Dead song I heard. Touch of Grey just had the vibe of the times sucking the spirit out of something cool - something I felt when I heard Kokomo by the Beach Boys as well. Enter then-boyfriend, jackass Tim, budding guitarist. One afternoon he played a Grateful Dead song for me. I didn't really listen to the words he softly sung that day, as I just wanted to make stuff up to the music. I think that ticked him off, but whatever. So... Tim skipped town, and left me alone and brokenhearted. Now I know I'm a moron for feeling this after the way he screwed me over, done me wrong (pick your bad cliche!), but a few weeks back I was missing him something fierce. And I thought of the song he played, only I hadn't paid attention and didn't know the name, so I cried a fair share because that tune was as lost to me as he was. Obsessive and clingy as I can be, I remembered another afternoon in his truck when he had to finish out the CD because the last song was Truckin' and he was a truck driver. So, I picked up American Beauty because that song was on there and would remind me of him. I played the disc through, and to my surprise Tim's song was Ripple, right smack in the middle of the album, and not lost to me after all. In a way it feels as if Tim left me in better hands than his. I was reading the liner notes and saw a picture of Pigpen and thought he looked kinda hot and definitely interesting. And in the course of reading more I learned about his story and well, that gives me pause when I get start to get a little too wallowy in self-pity. So I've been playing a bit of Pigpen's blues when I am blue (youtube is so wonderful), and listen to Jerry Garcia's sweet guitar when I'm feeling hopeful. But when I'm blue I can now see that maybe I can do something with it. See, I never even liked the blues until I had the blues. I discovered this when I was alone in Memphis on Valentine's Day after my fiance Randy died and I heard it blaring from the jukebox. It was only after I could relate that I could appreciate that sometimes you just have to let stuff out. So where does this leave me? I suppose a lot of Deadheads think back to some magical moment when they caught on. Me - a jackass threw me under the Deadhead bus as it were. But I found my way on all the same, and I surprise myself that the music has awoke in me again. In the past few weeks, I've picked up my guitar for the first time since before Randy died, and every time I come over to the new place I start singing Ripple (I'm in the process of moving... ugh - can't wait to be done!). As a teenager I always wanted to go to a Grateful Dead show for the people-watching even though I knew nothing about the music. But I put it off because I thought I would have time in college and then Jerry died. So I'm super thrilled that now that I actually get the music I'll be going to my first show in Chicago on May 5. I even bought an extra ticket so that I can either make a new friend or just make somebody's day in the parking lot. Well... that's enough for today. Boy I can be wordy sometimes. Love, Steph
  • Musky_Ranger
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    Hello Folks
    Howdy fellow fans, Very intersting to read the intros! Most of the most fun I have ever had in my life has been at Dead shows. I especially appreciate bonding with fellow starry eyed buddys when the Band hits those high and mighty strides. I read somewhere that a good Dead show is, by far, the happiest place on the planet at that moment. I don't doubt it a bit. The scene has influenced my life since the late 70's, for good or ill. I say "good or ill" because I've become pretty disgusted with the dark side of the whole Dead scene. Toward the end there were junkies passed out on the sidewalk, junkies convulsing on the sidewalk, junkies begging money and cigarretts and hits off my balloon. Ah, recall the summer reek of urine on a huge hot black asphalt parking lot? At my last Riverport show, while walking in the dark area between the stage and bathrooms, I almost fell flat smack on a friggin little baby that was laying on the grass while mom twirled 10 feet away. That's the show where I saw the stunted, impish, pointed eared and grinning creatures crawling on the scaffolding above the stage. Looked like dwarf Grinches. If you could see them, they knew it and would stop crawling and look you right in the eye and smile the smile of a fat, full leach. Um, hang on a second. Ok, I'm back. Well, I would like to meet some Dead fans here in southwest Michigan. Throw a frisbee or maybe I'll take you fishing? Stay the course.
  • Musky_Ranger
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    Hello Folks
    Howdy fellow fans, Very intersting to read the intros! Most of the most fun I have ever had in my life has been at Dead shows. I especially appreciate bonding with fellow starry eyed buddys when the Band hits those high and mighty strides. I read somewhere that a good Dead show is, by far, the happiest place on the planet at that moment. I don't doubt it a bit. The scene has influenced my life since the late 70's, for good or ill. I say "good or ill" because I've become pretty disgusted with the dark side of the whole Dead scene. Toward the end there were junkies passed out on the sidewalk, junkies convulsing on the sidewalk, junkies begging money and cigarretts and hits off my balloon. Ah, recall the summer reek of urine on a huge hot black asphalt parking lot? At my last Riverport show, while walking in the dark area between the stage and bathrooms, I almost fell flat smack on a friggin little baby that was laying on the grass while mom twirled 10 feet away. That's the show where I saw the stunted, impish, pointed eared and grinning creatures crawling on the scaffolding above the stage. Looked like dwarf Grinches. If you could see them, they knew it and would stop crawling and look you right in the eye and smile the smile of a fat, full leach. Um, hang on a second. Ok, I'm back. Well, I would like to meet some Dead fans here in southwest Michigan. Throw a frisbee or maybe I'll take you fishing? Stay the course.
  • The_Cat-Tribe
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    Howdy! San Diegan looking for someone to go to the May 9 show
    Hi there! I am a 39-year-old male attorney and a nice guy who loves the Dead. I live in San Diego, CA. I have 2 VIP tickets to the May 9th show in LA, but none of my friends can go with me. Anyone want to join me (obviously we should meet at least once first). Please contact me if you are interested. I've never been to a Dead concert before and my drug days are long behind me, but I expect to have a fabulous time.
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Since the original topic now has hundreds of introductions and is getting a bit hard to navigate, this seems as good a time as any to launch a new one. The original is here, should you wish to catch up on the who's who since this opened up in May. If you haven't introduced yourself yet, please do! And if you already have, but have something new to tell us about you and your life, speak up! (A bit of housekeeping business so we don't have to repost everything we posted before--izzie and I are the moderators here, and for our more extensive intros see the original topic.) Thanks and welcome!
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Yup we got the green pickle well hidden on our x-mas tree. An odd tradition, but there it is.Hello all, just want to introduce myself: Chuck Bimba, once an active DNC poster, but caught the electronica bug a few years back and wandered off. Been digging out my old tapes recently and falling in love with the music all over again. Nice to see that Bobby and Phil and everyone are still pretty active. Nice also to see the heads are still active and supportive. I am looking forward to getting some updated music from Phil and Friends, Ratdog, Hot Tuna and others, to hear how the music is progressing. I do miss the sounds and the people who make going to hear this music so rewarding. Hope to get out and about again this year and see for myself how its going. Peace/Respect Chuck Bimba
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Welcome Chuck!! Glad to hear you have a pickle too :)
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Hi, im what i guess you could call the next generation of deadhead. its possible i was born in the wrong time because the music and culture of my peers doesnt really do it for me. you guys have no idea how lucky u are to have been around during the golden days, these days we have to make do with old albums and the odd wanna-be woodstock knock off concert. P.L.U.R *Peace*Love*Unity*Respect* signed, a lost soul
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Welcome DeadHeadBornNBred. You don't have to make do with old albums anymore.There is the spirit of the Grateful Dead Music in the air,a place where millions of us can unite as one. It is live music incorporating the endless creativity that flows and allows us to feel free. It is a recent miracle called the Grateful Dead channel on Sirius satellite radio, channel 32. It is an endless joy for me to know that those who didn't experience this music the first time around can hear it now. I have been to many hundreds of shows and my 25 year partner was a taper with literally hundreds of tapes, and they play stuff on that channel that neither one of us have heard before. Absolutely amazing! Peace and Love
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Hello everyone my first show was in 1980 I think alpine valley no popular creek the band arrived in helicopters pretty cool
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Hi i'm Rina a 28 a deadhead from upstate N.Y. Born in 79 to a beatles lovin' mom and a biker dad. The dead found me at age 16, my then boyfriend got me american beauty for my birthday i fell in love with both(btw i married that man). The collection began... pounds of bootlegs tapes gave way to all studio i could find..JGB,live shows, then omg dick!! love those dicks picks!!! , Jerry did something for me, i was an angry person(not sure why) his voice,thier words,the dead took that anger from me and gave me much more. when it's all said and done i always remember those wise words Don't waste your breath to save your face When you have done your best And even more is asked of you Fate will decide the rest
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Rina, always nice to have new heads on board! Peace :) and enjoy the site!!
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Always room for more dogs on this bus! Those are my two, Rex and Callie, in the photo. We're all much older now, but still together.
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Rina
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Callie's a dalmatian and deaf. Rex is a lab/border collie mix, which I would seek out again in future dogs. I love them greatly. Callie is 10 now (and just yesterday I was asked at the dogpark if the dalmatian puppy was mine...) and Rex 13. Feel free to post about Lucy in the Your Faithful Friends topic, which is a little quiet lately.
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I'm sixth grader who has divorced parents, my mom lives in VA (where I'm typing from in my room) and my dad who's in maryland (dont know the abreviation) from which I wont have acces here from. (the wicked step mother doesnt let me go on forums) Yeah, I'm a dead head, not hard core though. I only know 11 out of the 100 something songs they have...but they are the BEST songs in the world. Yeah, I was reading the first page of this and my situation is kinda like dylan's, but I'm not in a boarding school (thank god). I grew up on all the awsome bands/singers. I have a few dead shirts too...my favorite is the one with the bears dancing around in a spiral, my mom gave it to me. I just started playing acoustic guitar about a month ago and was looking for Grateful dead song tutorials for guitar beginers on youtube, when I found Jdark's touch of grey thing, it was way to hard and I went to his site, and then one thing lead to another and here I am. I'm not very good at it yet, I only know enough notes to count on my fingers. Like my username suggests, I love right angles and love math. I'm in a two year accelerated math class and I look forward to period 5 every day. I'm still gonna be lurking on this forum for a little while, so I can get the hang of things around here. And, if anyone has heard about webkinz, an online game, I'm an addict. They are these little stuffed animals that come with codes that you enter on the site, www.webkinz.com , to play fun games. I only get them for the games, though. The first dead song I ever heard was on 98.7 WMZQ (country station) and was friend of the devil. I'd say my favorite song is either Operator or Ripple. I'm glad I came here because this site looks great, and so do the users! Well, I gotta jump in the shower and then it's off to bed for me, but I'll be here tomorow!
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Welcome !! My daughter Cassidy is totally into Webkinz too. If you don't take care of them daily, they won't make it. I hope my children feel the way you do when they're your age. Listen to some Groovy music & take it easy. My kids LOVE Truckin & of course Cassidy!! PEACE Leanne
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I have a boy in 6th grade, he is a math whiz too! He's not much of a GD fan though,he likes Beatles, and stuff like AC/DC, Van Halen etc.... rock on little man... The music never stopped Peace, Gigi
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Welcome! You should check out the tapers section if you already havn't,i'm new and have already enjoyed many hours there:) I love seeing kids in tye dyes! makes the day brighter.
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welcome! I think you might be our youngest so far. Glad to have you with us.
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When I was in 6th grade it seemed like all of the kids listened to the dead, no doubt because of our righteous parents! Welcome aboard dude. I havn't been here that long either but I feel right at home. Stay cool little brother.
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Hey all, I started posting on the original DeadNet Central back in 1997. A huge advocate for the Audience recording, I did everything I could to transfer old AUD masters into digital formats - sharing seeds of AUDs online. I've even had the pleasure of supplying David Gans with an AUD for the GDH and was interviewed on the radio show. I dropped out of the online posting sphere a few years ago, and have just started peeking my way back in (love the new Dead.net forum layout). Mostly I've started a blog aimed at helping people new to the world of Dead music online navigate the choices of shows to listen to, with a lean on the world of audience recordings. Check it out here: http://deadlistening.blogspot.com/ and let me know if you find it useful.
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welcome, and be sure to stop by the tape traders area.
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Hey Now,Spent the late 80's-early 00's in Colorado. Nice to have this forum to share memories and create new ones. Live in Chicago now. Peace, Sean
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thank you for all welcoming me, thanks! and a welcome for spinnersdelight and arkstar!
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Any friends of dick still out there ? Any stories? he was my brother, my friend. I traded him goods, he found my favorite tunes. I liked the old tunes ie., alligator, other one etc. everything he had was on reel to reel and he copied them onto cassettes for me.Not hardly anything left with his writing on it, the hawaiian sun faded my "not fade away".I live and have lived in hawaii'. I saw the warlocks play,got hauled into the haight house by Janis and listened to jorma, jack, janis, and jerry play in the front room. I remember the free concerts and the digger store. I lived upstairs from city lights books at the time, in a closet, and got to hear ferligetti,ginzburg etc. read about life "on the road" .Would love to share memories. I miss Dick L.
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Hi everyone. Bored day at work and decided to venture away from tapetrader and got my miracle today by landing here via google. Look forward to trading with everyone and also sharing stories about show experiences.Todd
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welcome, and head on over to the Tapers area of the forum and sign up for some vines!
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Just the last couple years have been my "peak" period of Dead interest, but I've been listening to them off and on for about 20 years, saw a few late 80s/early90s shows at Autzen in Eugene, OR and one in the early 90s at Shoreline. Always dug it but just never quite got that "Must revise lifestyle to maximize show attendance!" zap...or at least it never lasted. Now I'm regretting it and downloading all the great shows I could have been at if only I'd had better priorities! I was primarily a punk rock kid during the 80s, that was a fun scene too. Last October I saw Phil at the Avalon in Chicago and was totally blown away!! Regret that I only got to see one night and will try not to make that mistake next time a Dead-related project comes through Chicago! Would love to connect with other like-minded folks in the Chicago area, especially if you're into bicycling.
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I would love to tell you that, in my 29 years on the planet, I've been listening to the Grateful Dead, swapping tapes, and enjoying this global family. The truth is, up until about 4 years ago, I knew the song "Truckin'," and that's about it. Then, I met this wonderful young lady who has been a Deadhead most of her life. She, in turn, introduced me to the Dead and their enormous body of work. I will admit, it was a bit overwhelming at first, but over the last few years, and several festivals to boot, I have grown into a full blow fanatic. I've played guitar for many years and I just love to hear Jerry and Bobby riff off of each other. That all being said, my name is Caleb. I married the love of my life, Amber, on Nov. 4th, 2006. We live in Oklahoma and are both enrolled in college here. She is a pre-med student, and I am going to school to be a special education teacher. We both have a deep passion for music, especially live music. She introduced me to the festival life and I have truly become addicted to the experience. I have a band and I believe our Myspace page is linked below. Other than that, I am looking forward to getting to know some of you and maybe meeting at some shows here and there. I am trying to talk my wife into going to Mountain Jam this June to see Bob and Ratdog in NY. I think that is all for right now. I look forward to extending my musical family with you all. Peace, Caleb
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Hi all... I am melissa, though picked up the nick name muffin about 8 years ago. Followed the Grateful Dead from about 90-mid 94...always used my real name on tour, never a "rainbow" name, which is funny as my friends giving me a nickname now, but that is a whole different story and world from tour anyway! lived in the haight, la, oakland, and many other wonderful places... I do miss my boys and would have stayed through the end if not for the state of ohio thinking differently! anyway, I have long waited to join here, and lately have had the time to do so, what with it being so cold and icky this winter! muffin www.creativemuffin.com
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i know u will find some kind people here...i loved ur website and sent my wife there to buy some of ur necklaces. stay safe and feel good! >><<<< :>
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Do people around you tell you that they are sick of hearing The Dead? That that's all you listen to> well that's what I get most of the time. So it's nice to hang with people who appreciate the finest things in life. I'll be pokin around here now and again, so maybe well bumb into each other and say Hi. PEACE
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I get that too, obvioulsy "they" have no taste for the finer things in life! Peace & Welcome
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there's lots of different kinds of "theys" out there, most of 'em aren't very cool, but some of 'em will do in a pinch. Thanks for the welcome
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i am new to posting. ive been a deadhead since mid seventies hit some shows late seventies and the eighties mostly chicago and wisconsin , area.rosemont horizon, alpine valley and popular creek. needed to stay away from the party for sometime which at times i regret but kept me alive then i went to see the other ones in pa (montage) and nj (continenal areana). excellent shows. the music never stopped i kept listening. I am grateful for this site thanks
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I went to law school, graduated, passed the bar and became a lawyer. I am so, so sorry about that. I really hope that the damage I did to the world will soon pass, even though the evil that men do lives on after them. At least I quit when I realized what I had done. Now I try to do some good every day to try and compensate. It's not enough, but the effort is there. I play the Dead through my headphones to try and repair my soul. Please let that be enough. But who am I kidding? I was a lawyer. My God, what have I done? Peace.
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Here I am afraid I`ll rot I beg of you to tell me not I don`t want to rot my brain to stop my heart to drop so I beg of you to tell me not you will not rot brain won`t stop your heart won`t drop so here I am to tell you not 1-30-08 One of my darkest day`s If your love is true you can make it through. 1-30-08............yes sometimes I do feel like this .... Hey Marye ,, any room for a poetry section ? I have lots of them... sure others have some they may want to share.... Peace !! Have a wonderful day !!
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not a bad idea. Any other poets on the bus here?
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I think CCJ is a poet with flair!
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good stuff
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i will glady pay u tuesday for a hamburger 2day...:) seriously, i think its a grate idea!!! stay safe and feel good > (~):-}
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is just a song where only you hear the music in your mind. Its in all of us. Been writing for years. Some put to music, most not. Love the words. . .
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Stu say`s thank you Marye !! I`ll be sure to post more !! sometimes the words just flow from my head, it is kinda strange sometimes,,..thanx again ! and thank everyone for the positive feedback !!! Love you all !!! Peace !!!! ............
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its all lyric manIt took me this long to find this intro thingy, but hey everyone and hugs. i'm still just me lol Born in the bay area, have lived/traveled most of the continental US, someday will play golf in Ireland and guitar on the coast of Spain. Listened to the dead all my life and finally got on the bus in 84. The offspring (aka son-drumpup/the usual topic of my conversation if not music) is now experiencing his second year of college and doing quite well *proud mama smile* He's the self-proclaimed next Kevin Smith...although he looks more like Jay... and yes...i'm still an Oakland fan no matter what Shell game of coaches Al throws at me. I've ended up staying here in VB that i had just moved to when i started posting, have a kool new place three blocks from the ocean. its sweet. The golf playing architect (realtors lovers?:) and i finally figured out we really are meant to be together...as Jerry said 'there's nothing like a near death experience to change your outlook'. Its been quite a year but I just felt the need to say so many of ya'll have always been on my heart, always. peace Keep on rockin in the free world
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***you’ve got a lot of nerve to say you are my friend******while I was down you just stood there grinin*** I’m talking about me. If everyone could just join me in a surrealistic moment…I’m talking about me and me…I was down and I just stood there grinin…it’s a strange and terrible thing to be both I annexed Africa, a vast wasteland, a desert nobody cares about where I could do my thing…it’s the only thing I really do…really I guess in some stupid overanalyzed way, it gets exhausting especially when all I want to do is live my life, but my family is important and this is a puzzle I have to solve…so Bamski found me, and he pounced; the thing about it is, he was right, I was rambling, rambling about what to do next, what to do now with my life, because that is the only way I can communicate. I know eyes are rolling, but its true, it’s a real problem for me, and the truth of the matter is that I am a Dead Head…Pure and simple…but what Bamski was doing was only protecting what he loved, what was his…who was I? who was this new guy? This king of Africa? I’ve been a Dead Head for a long long time, but online? Hozomeen? Then there were all the great Heads that came to my rescue, those wonderful souls I have always flocked to, the ones I have always had a need to be around. You guys gave me some great insight into what has been going on with me my whole life. And it’s no coincidence that I am a Dead Head really. I went to see the captain…strangest I could find…I am looking for work right now. Until recently I was a sailor. My wife’s breast cancer last year wiped us out. We have a two year old. She can’t pick him up more than a couple times a day now. As a result, I can no longer sail. No matter, we moved to North Carolina three years ago so I could go to school and change careers. I have known something about myself. I have known that I needed a major change. I needed…needed…change in my life in order to live happily, correctly, without stress or worry or whatever you call it…that incredible bodily pain, bleeding stomach ulcers at 22, drug addiction, credit card debt, alcoholism, verbal abuse, falling out with friends, fights fights fights…I have been seeing this doctor, some kind of head doctor, uhmmm, I don’t know, anyway, he has been calling me ADHD and OCD for quite some time now, which has been very very good, but not all the questions have been answered, not really; which is not the point here, the point here is that I think I have found an answer, a condition called Asperger’s. It’s a form of autism. Lately I have been trying to find a job, any job, and it has been a major problem, confusing, not like before, but see now I am out of my comfort zone like never before…I have had bouts with these feelings in the past, but I have also been able to overcome them in some way or another; this time, this time I have hit a road block, and this time I can’t just hit the road. The main problem with my doctor is, he likes me, he likes who I am…this positive highly motivated guy, real go getter, goal oriented with confidence in himself…the fact is, though I may be all those things, I am hindered in a very real and specific way. He looks at me and says the same thing everyone has always said, “your fine, one of the best people I’ve every met.” That still doesn’t mean I’m not afraid. That still won’t reduce me, five foot ten, hundred eighty or so, state champ wrestler, sailor of the open seas, down to a teary pile of useless shit at the mere thought of going out and doing certain things…I can’t do them…they have to be done in certain ways or with certain devices or not at all…until now I have gone to great lengths to prove that I am some big tough guy…now I know what I am and I know what I’m not…and what I am is what I choose to be…what people see is a mask that my mind chooses because I can’t help it, it runs what amounts to a series of computer programs, and when it gets tripped up, like input it doesn’t recognize, you know, like when you say something to someone who is autistic, that wrong thing that sets them off, or when you type something wrong into your Apple IIe, you get the big fat Error message, and that is what you get with me too, in the flesh that is; on dead.net you get what is inside, cause for me, the possibly autistic me, this is my talent, this is what I do, I’ve been writing in notebooks and crap since I was I don’t know what… Marjie, my wife, and I had spent half our relationship by email until recently. We got engaged over an army telephone while I was in Kuwait after two months worth of emails. I sailed about 120 days at a shot and emailed her every day. I was infamous in the fleet. The email bandit or some shit. They kept up cause it was expensive. Inmarsat. Had I been an at home boyfriend, odds are she would have never gotten to know me. She sometimes asks me to write to her when I am at home; she sometimes says she misses me… it is no coincidence that I am a Dead Head. People like me have an aversion to getting picked on…they don’t know it is happening, and so they are prone to having it happen to them, I know I am, have been, was, and still are; he he he (sorry, I also like to crack myself up), the point is, it is kind of like an allergy to meanness; my sister’s husband has three brothers and it seems like they communicate with punches and insults…to me it is just crazy, I don’t understand it in the least, it almost hurts, it hurts to be over there, them all running around like dogs, dogs also all running around, children also all running around, and me…quiet, standing, drinking water mostly, sitting there in my head…so this allergy to meanness has drawn me to you, this crowd of zen, this crowd of people who are nice to one another as a rule and because you want to and not because your told… thank you everybody…thank you for being there…for being my family…for being zen…for continuing to be zen… thank you for the vast wasteland that is Africa…if there is anyone out there who needs to spill out some ramblings of there own, I also read read read and would be happy to read read read it…
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16 years 7 months
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The first song I heard by the Dead was Casey Jones-I was 12. I saw my first show when I was 16 in 1986. I was hooked. For the next six or so years, I went on many tours. I still lived in Virginia but I would take off for weeks or months at a time and saw alot of shows. I had so much fun... Now, Im a mom of three, 11, 7, and 2, and I attend college online-IT major. I live in the Blue Ridge Mountains inVa.... Somewhere I have a photo album I managed to hang onto for the last twenty years...there are a few pictures from some shows in there..I'll post something when I find it again. Looking forward to chatting about some fun memories....
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17 years
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the welcome mat is out for you ! welcome aboard sunshine-sugaree... glad to have you here,,... lots of folks to talk with,, just don`t let the chat room get you freaked out,, it is a very very strange place .. Peace ...
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16 years 7 months
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Hey Stuman, all....thanks for the welcome..just call me Stephanie : )Sugaree is one of my favorite songs though!
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17 years 4 months
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welcome, Stephanie!Hope you like it here. Enjoy! Peace,Gigi