• 640 replies
    marye
    Joined:
    Since the original topic now has hundreds of introductions and is getting a bit hard to navigate, this seems as good a time as any to launch a new one. The original is here, should you wish to catch up on the who's who since this opened up in May. If you haven't introduced yourself yet, please do! And if you already have, but have something new to tell us about you and your life, speak up! (A bit of housekeeping business so we don't have to repost everything we posted before--izzie and I are the moderators here, and for our more extensive intros see the original topic.) Thanks and welcome!

Comments

sort by
Recent
Reset
  • cosmicdavid
    Joined:
    Another New Guy
    Hello! My name is David Ciley and I've been a deadhead since i was 11 years old. I had a neighbor take notice that I was into CSNY especially Crosby and his tunes so he gave me the greatest gift next to my wife and son and that was he stole my face. I was terribly upset to find out that Jerry had passed a few years before I could see him. They actually played their last show on my 8th birthday. I will be 25 this year so I am definitely a younger head, however I've been going to shows since 2000. My dad caved in and bought us tickets to go and see Bob Dylan open up for Phil and Friends and that sort of just cemented me into the scene. My son has been hearing their tunes since before his birth and frequently gets upset when his one and only dead shirt is in the wash so he can't wear it*he's four, five in april*. I went to as many Phil and Ratdog shows as I could after the first and was elated when they toured as "The Dead" with Warren. Furthur is icing on the cake for me as I'm sure it is to many of you. I've been trolling on the site for years and years and decided I needed to just join. So here is my official Hello and thanks for having me on deck!
  • thoughtsonthedead
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    hey everybody
    I just started a new blog about the Dead called http://thoughtsonthedead.wordpress.com/ Check it out and let me know what you think. It's mostly short humorous essays about our favorite band.
  • gdvault
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    Hi
    I'm not much of a huge forum type of guy, but since I made it over "Hello". The name's Chris Larson. Will try to hang out now and again and get to know some of you. Especially the local Oregonians!
  • Kyle Reyle
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    :-)
    Hello all!My name is Kyle Reyle and I just stumbled onto this site today. Honestly I am very new to the grateful dead, but have felt so much emotion from the people i've met. It started for me when I started going to "raves" ~ For me, it started out for the materials, but as I progressed I fell into some bad vibes. I wanted to turn my life around for the better, there was a freind that I had made at one of these events who took care of me, helped set up my tent, and even gave me one of his shirts, His name was Tony. Tony inenvirtantly introduced me to the grateful dead, I started listening to the music in whichever means that I could, mainly youtube. This is when I fell in love. I have not had the pleasure to go to any shows, but i'd still like to get together at current events and meet all the good people. I'm still a young soul ~ only 19 years old right now, but hopefully i'll be able to learn as much as I can in this life. ~ Much love, reyle. I love to draw, i'm trying to get back into college after dropping out, and even trying to find a new job!
  • ukulele.jac
    Joined:
    howdy
    i'm a 52 year old, fairly new convert to The Grateful Dead. Spent most of my life listening to jazz and punk and old C & W. Saw them a couple of times in the 70's (went with a girlfriend) saw them a couple of times in the 90's. Never had a real connection with the music until last year. i've seen Further twice now (with my 12 year old daughter), the most recent time was last night at The Hard Rock in Las Vegas. i play ukulele, ride bicycles and take pictures with pinhole cameras.
  • Eric_James
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    How are ya?
    I am 27 and live in Southern California, over the last couple years i have been getting more and more into classic rock and blues and i started listening to the Dead and now i can't stop. I already have some songs that i love and i have heard they have never played the same song the same way twice, i bet that is true, and that just makes it that more magical. There are very few bands that can make me feel as good as the Dead so i am so glad i have found some more awesome music to listen to and enjoy and it really does ease your soul. Sometimes we live no particular way but our own
  • marye
    Joined:
    welcome fleetwing!
    and feel free to post in Deadhead of the Middle East!
  • Anonymous (not verified)
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    welcome
    that's a wonderful story fleetwing! very interesting. glad to see you followed your heart and mind.welcome to Dead.net! (try "Ollin Arageed" on the people too, especially when the Dead segued from the local musicians into their own electrical transcendence!).
  • fleetwing
    Joined:
    Kuwait deadhead
    sorry so long, in not getting into the group and discussion,I am a universality deadhead, became a Muslim in the states about 1996, after Jerry death, when in 96 i had an accident and was at Brown university hospital and was told by the Doc. if i did not quit drinking, i would be "locked up or covered up" this is what i did in my search for Serenity exploring many of man kinds sciences and paths i choose Islam as the religion that appealed to my intellect, (in a philosophical tree climbing way) to channel the good freethinking vibes, to constructive use after years of tour and travel of the globe I took bible study coursed from various sources , went to the oldest synagogue in america, studied, and studied more , on tour I have been to Naroopa, boulder, an ashram out side goose creek Colorado, Lindisfarne, Green Gulch Farm Zen Center, in Marin, lived in Italy considered a heretic,(Masonic) i was not catholic but i took advantage of being near RoME, and studied art history, while there also, reading on the real history of the church, as depicted in paintings. I was raised an American in Naples Italy, (origin of the Funiculì, Funiculà) lived there three different times, total of 13 years, between our trips around the globe, (father was Navy) we lived in mare island Vallejo, California, my great great grandfather is buried in Mount Tamalpais cemetery. so i was more local to the area I was about 1982. then stopped a few other places in the USA, between 1980 to 1984, my family did many road trips across the Usa, what i always could remembering all the cool folks on the roadways of America. various tours; been to the 25 reunion of woodstock in Bethel, New York 94, stayed two weeks and got in on the clean up of that site , the freedom fest and camp arrow head. 94 world unity fest in south rim of grand canyon, black mountain in Arizona, subsequent rainbow gatherings, from 92-96. I was in palm springs, California area may to July 95 I greyhounded to Rhode island from California, stopped in Oklahoma city, two weeks before Jerry un timely death, I was in Newport, Rhode island, and was considering a road trip to NY for the annual gathering at woodstock, then catching the Newport folk fest, that years folk fest was; whew... I married a wonder full Kuwaiti Woman MD, married on 03/03/03 whom, i met when she was visiting for seminars at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, in 2001, we met through one of her Kuwaiti relatives I knew from the local mosque in fairfax, Virginia. We now have 4 little boys and they demand Jerry in the morning, while driving I have raised them on the dead and may of the few "streams" to get them to listen with me. i wear tie dyes on a regular basis, (you cannot show up at a mosque in a tie-dye) I been to the hajj in mecca in 2002. I have taken my other wise conservative Muslim wife to the haight ashbury street fair in 2007, every place between Vallejo and Monterrey, i let my children see as much as they can since I did not have the benefit in the 70's in Italy all my parents had were LP and memories, of 72 Europe, dad took leave and i was about 1.5 years old. dont know if my folks want to give up the old photos.. On 9/11, of which I was TWO KM as the crow flies from the pentagon, after all the interrogations from the secret service, I had a yacht repair business on the Potomac river, servicing the marinas, people threw all the work contracts out the window , because i did not keep it a secret that i was a Muslim long before 9/11, at my core i am an american, well I moved to Kuwait, and started supporting the US Army as a mechanic, body shop, As well as working my own angles with the boating and yachting industry in Kuwait. this is a very conservative society so the only way i introduce musicians here about the dead i let them listen to Garcia/Grisman "Arabia" for some reason the song stirs the Arabian soul ; i try to bring out some musical awareness, so most Arabs think we (deadheads) are christian a cult of the dead in america, this is from from a religious point of view, and first impressions, then if you know names of popular Arabian musician, then they get the idea, the deal is to learn the language, and the society in which you live, they are all different in the gulf region, what goes for one does not for the other. thanks for letting me introduce my self
  • Anonymous (not verified)
    Default Avatar
    Joined:
    hugs and canapés and bubbly glasses
    hey Blew J, hey purple hippie, KaylieCottrell, hey mallah, hey marc.mixon! thought i'd say a hello to everyone and spread a couple welcomes; hope you all are mighty fine. i've only been here a short while and people sure are friendly. i tend to post regularly in the "What Are You Listening To..", "Trouble Ahead...", Positive Vibes...", Blair's Blog's topics; always up for debate and to pass on inspirations and such like. I'm a gonna send you some links and free stuff through your Private Messages so check if you so wish. as for you marc, i'm not really that up to date with other Dead related sites and what not; there are topics like "What Else Should We Be talking About" and other such posts. best to check through the All Recent Posts link on the left hand side and see what looks appropriate. It'll give you all the topic headers that are here. I'd recommend posting the same thing in a variety of them as there are regulars that only seem to use certain subjects; that way you'll reach more people. Apart from that, i'd also post comments on sites like Relix magazine, Jambands.com and Jambase. If they have a story, article or news item about the Dead, then mention what you're doing. The more people who know the better. If you're lighting artist, then see if you can email people like Candace Brightman or Chris Kuroda or check for other bands in the "scene" who they use and pass it on, ya know? Betty Cantor is on Facebook; maybe message her too. Just spread the word!!! well, take it easy fellow travelers. look out for the messages!
user picture

Member for

17 years 6 months
Forums
Since the original topic now has hundreds of introductions and is getting a bit hard to navigate, this seems as good a time as any to launch a new one. The original is here, should you wish to catch up on the who's who since this opened up in May. If you haven't introduced yourself yet, please do! And if you already have, but have something new to tell us about you and your life, speak up! (A bit of housekeeping business so we don't have to repost everything we posted before--izzie and I are the moderators here, and for our more extensive intros see the original topic.) Thanks and welcome!
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 10 months
Permalink

Yup we got the green pickle well hidden on our x-mas tree. An odd tradition, but there it is.Hello all, just want to introduce myself: Chuck Bimba, once an active DNC poster, but caught the electronica bug a few years back and wandered off. Been digging out my old tapes recently and falling in love with the music all over again. Nice to see that Bobby and Phil and everyone are still pretty active. Nice also to see the heads are still active and supportive. I am looking forward to getting some updated music from Phil and Friends, Ratdog, Hot Tuna and others, to hear how the music is progressing. I do miss the sounds and the people who make going to hear this music so rewarding. Hope to get out and about again this year and see for myself how its going. Peace/Respect Chuck Bimba
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

Welcome Chuck!! Glad to hear you have a pickle too :)
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Hi, im what i guess you could call the next generation of deadhead. its possible i was born in the wrong time because the music and culture of my peers doesnt really do it for me. you guys have no idea how lucky u are to have been around during the golden days, these days we have to make do with old albums and the odd wanna-be woodstock knock off concert. P.L.U.R *Peace*Love*Unity*Respect* signed, a lost soul
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

Welcome DeadHeadBornNBred. You don't have to make do with old albums anymore.There is the spirit of the Grateful Dead Music in the air,a place where millions of us can unite as one. It is live music incorporating the endless creativity that flows and allows us to feel free. It is a recent miracle called the Grateful Dead channel on Sirius satellite radio, channel 32. It is an endless joy for me to know that those who didn't experience this music the first time around can hear it now. I have been to many hundreds of shows and my 25 year partner was a taper with literally hundreds of tapes, and they play stuff on that channel that neither one of us have heard before. Absolutely amazing! Peace and Love
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Hello everyone my first show was in 1980 I think alpine valley no popular creek the band arrived in helicopters pretty cool
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Hi i'm Rina a 28 a deadhead from upstate N.Y. Born in 79 to a beatles lovin' mom and a biker dad. The dead found me at age 16, my then boyfriend got me american beauty for my birthday i fell in love with both(btw i married that man). The collection began... pounds of bootlegs tapes gave way to all studio i could find..JGB,live shows, then omg dick!! love those dicks picks!!! , Jerry did something for me, i was an angry person(not sure why) his voice,thier words,the dead took that anger from me and gave me much more. when it's all said and done i always remember those wise words Don't waste your breath to save your face When you have done your best And even more is asked of you Fate will decide the rest
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

Rina, always nice to have new heads on board! Peace :) and enjoy the site!!
user picture

Member for

17 years 6 months
Permalink

Always room for more dogs on this bus! Those are my two, Rex and Callie, in the photo. We're all much older now, but still together.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Rina
user picture

Member for

17 years 6 months
Permalink

Callie's a dalmatian and deaf. Rex is a lab/border collie mix, which I would seek out again in future dogs. I love them greatly. Callie is 10 now (and just yesterday I was asked at the dogpark if the dalmatian puppy was mine...) and Rex 13. Feel free to post about Lucy in the Your Faithful Friends topic, which is a little quiet lately.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

I'm sixth grader who has divorced parents, my mom lives in VA (where I'm typing from in my room) and my dad who's in maryland (dont know the abreviation) from which I wont have acces here from. (the wicked step mother doesnt let me go on forums) Yeah, I'm a dead head, not hard core though. I only know 11 out of the 100 something songs they have...but they are the BEST songs in the world. Yeah, I was reading the first page of this and my situation is kinda like dylan's, but I'm not in a boarding school (thank god). I grew up on all the awsome bands/singers. I have a few dead shirts too...my favorite is the one with the bears dancing around in a spiral, my mom gave it to me. I just started playing acoustic guitar about a month ago and was looking for Grateful dead song tutorials for guitar beginers on youtube, when I found Jdark's touch of grey thing, it was way to hard and I went to his site, and then one thing lead to another and here I am. I'm not very good at it yet, I only know enough notes to count on my fingers. Like my username suggests, I love right angles and love math. I'm in a two year accelerated math class and I look forward to period 5 every day. I'm still gonna be lurking on this forum for a little while, so I can get the hang of things around here. And, if anyone has heard about webkinz, an online game, I'm an addict. They are these little stuffed animals that come with codes that you enter on the site, www.webkinz.com , to play fun games. I only get them for the games, though. The first dead song I ever heard was on 98.7 WMZQ (country station) and was friend of the devil. I'd say my favorite song is either Operator or Ripple. I'm glad I came here because this site looks great, and so do the users! Well, I gotta jump in the shower and then it's off to bed for me, but I'll be here tomorow!
user picture

Member for

17 years 1 month
Permalink

Welcome !! My daughter Cassidy is totally into Webkinz too. If you don't take care of them daily, they won't make it. I hope my children feel the way you do when they're your age. Listen to some Groovy music & take it easy. My kids LOVE Truckin & of course Cassidy!! PEACE Leanne
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

I have a boy in 6th grade, he is a math whiz too! He's not much of a GD fan though,he likes Beatles, and stuff like AC/DC, Van Halen etc.... rock on little man... The music never stopped Peace, Gigi
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Welcome! You should check out the tapers section if you already havn't,i'm new and have already enjoyed many hours there:) I love seeing kids in tye dyes! makes the day brighter.
user picture

Member for

17 years 6 months
Permalink

welcome! I think you might be our youngest so far. Glad to have you with us.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 10 months
Permalink

When I was in 6th grade it seemed like all of the kids listened to the dead, no doubt because of our righteous parents! Welcome aboard dude. I havn't been here that long either but I feel right at home. Stay cool little brother.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Hey all, I started posting on the original DeadNet Central back in 1997. A huge advocate for the Audience recording, I did everything I could to transfer old AUD masters into digital formats - sharing seeds of AUDs online. I've even had the pleasure of supplying David Gans with an AUD for the GDH and was interviewed on the radio show. I dropped out of the online posting sphere a few years ago, and have just started peeking my way back in (love the new Dead.net forum layout). Mostly I've started a blog aimed at helping people new to the world of Dead music online navigate the choices of shows to listen to, with a lean on the world of audience recordings. Check it out here: http://deadlistening.blogspot.com/ and let me know if you find it useful.
user picture

Member for

17 years 6 months
Permalink

welcome, and be sure to stop by the tape traders area.
user picture

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Hey Now,Spent the late 80's-early 00's in Colorado. Nice to have this forum to share memories and create new ones. Live in Chicago now. Peace, Sean
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

thank you for all welcoming me, thanks! and a welcome for spinnersdelight and arkstar!
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Any friends of dick still out there ? Any stories? he was my brother, my friend. I traded him goods, he found my favorite tunes. I liked the old tunes ie., alligator, other one etc. everything he had was on reel to reel and he copied them onto cassettes for me.Not hardly anything left with his writing on it, the hawaiian sun faded my "not fade away".I live and have lived in hawaii'. I saw the warlocks play,got hauled into the haight house by Janis and listened to jorma, jack, janis, and jerry play in the front room. I remember the free concerts and the digger store. I lived upstairs from city lights books at the time, in a closet, and got to hear ferligetti,ginzburg etc. read about life "on the road" .Would love to share memories. I miss Dick L.
user picture

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

Hi everyone. Bored day at work and decided to venture away from tapetrader and got my miracle today by landing here via google. Look forward to trading with everyone and also sharing stories about show experiences.Todd
user picture

Member for

17 years 6 months
Permalink

welcome, and head on over to the Tapers area of the forum and sign up for some vines!
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Just the last couple years have been my "peak" period of Dead interest, but I've been listening to them off and on for about 20 years, saw a few late 80s/early90s shows at Autzen in Eugene, OR and one in the early 90s at Shoreline. Always dug it but just never quite got that "Must revise lifestyle to maximize show attendance!" zap...or at least it never lasted. Now I'm regretting it and downloading all the great shows I could have been at if only I'd had better priorities! I was primarily a punk rock kid during the 80s, that was a fun scene too. Last October I saw Phil at the Avalon in Chicago and was totally blown away!! Regret that I only got to see one night and will try not to make that mistake next time a Dead-related project comes through Chicago! Would love to connect with other like-minded folks in the Chicago area, especially if you're into bicycling.
user picture

Member for

16 years 9 months
Permalink

I would love to tell you that, in my 29 years on the planet, I've been listening to the Grateful Dead, swapping tapes, and enjoying this global family. The truth is, up until about 4 years ago, I knew the song "Truckin'," and that's about it. Then, I met this wonderful young lady who has been a Deadhead most of her life. She, in turn, introduced me to the Dead and their enormous body of work. I will admit, it was a bit overwhelming at first, but over the last few years, and several festivals to boot, I have grown into a full blow fanatic. I've played guitar for many years and I just love to hear Jerry and Bobby riff off of each other. That all being said, my name is Caleb. I married the love of my life, Amber, on Nov. 4th, 2006. We live in Oklahoma and are both enrolled in college here. She is a pre-med student, and I am going to school to be a special education teacher. We both have a deep passion for music, especially live music. She introduced me to the festival life and I have truly become addicted to the experience. I have a band and I believe our Myspace page is linked below. Other than that, I am looking forward to getting to know some of you and maybe meeting at some shows here and there. I am trying to talk my wife into going to Mountain Jam this June to see Bob and Ratdog in NY. I think that is all for right now. I look forward to extending my musical family with you all. Peace, Caleb
user picture

Member for

16 years 8 months
Permalink

Hi all... I am melissa, though picked up the nick name muffin about 8 years ago. Followed the Grateful Dead from about 90-mid 94...always used my real name on tour, never a "rainbow" name, which is funny as my friends giving me a nickname now, but that is a whole different story and world from tour anyway! lived in the haight, la, oakland, and many other wonderful places... I do miss my boys and would have stayed through the end if not for the state of ohio thinking differently! anyway, I have long waited to join here, and lately have had the time to do so, what with it being so cold and icky this winter! muffin www.creativemuffin.com
user picture

Member for

17 years 1 month
Permalink

i know u will find some kind people here...i loved ur website and sent my wife there to buy some of ur necklaces. stay safe and feel good! >><<<< :>
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

Do people around you tell you that they are sick of hearing The Dead? That that's all you listen to> well that's what I get most of the time. So it's nice to hang with people who appreciate the finest things in life. I'll be pokin around here now and again, so maybe well bumb into each other and say Hi. PEACE
user picture

Member for

17 years 1 month
Permalink

I get that too, obvioulsy "they" have no taste for the finer things in life! Peace & Welcome
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

there's lots of different kinds of "theys" out there, most of 'em aren't very cool, but some of 'em will do in a pinch. Thanks for the welcome
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

i am new to posting. ive been a deadhead since mid seventies hit some shows late seventies and the eighties mostly chicago and wisconsin , area.rosemont horizon, alpine valley and popular creek. needed to stay away from the party for sometime which at times i regret but kept me alive then i went to see the other ones in pa (montage) and nj (continenal areana). excellent shows. the music never stopped i kept listening. I am grateful for this site thanks
user picture

Member for

16 years 8 months
Permalink

I went to law school, graduated, passed the bar and became a lawyer. I am so, so sorry about that. I really hope that the damage I did to the world will soon pass, even though the evil that men do lives on after them. At least I quit when I realized what I had done. Now I try to do some good every day to try and compensate. It's not enough, but the effort is there. I play the Dead through my headphones to try and repair my soul. Please let that be enough. But who am I kidding? I was a lawyer. My God, what have I done? Peace.
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years
Permalink

Here I am afraid I`ll rot I beg of you to tell me not I don`t want to rot my brain to stop my heart to drop so I beg of you to tell me not you will not rot brain won`t stop your heart won`t drop so here I am to tell you not 1-30-08 One of my darkest day`s If your love is true you can make it through. 1-30-08............yes sometimes I do feel like this .... Hey Marye ,, any room for a poetry section ? I have lots of them... sure others have some they may want to share.... Peace !! Have a wonderful day !!
user picture

Member for

17 years 6 months
Permalink

not a bad idea. Any other poets on the bus here?
user picture

Member for

17 years 1 month
Permalink

I think CCJ is a poet with flair!
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

good stuff
user picture

Member for

17 years 1 month
Permalink

i will glady pay u tuesday for a hamburger 2day...:) seriously, i think its a grate idea!!! stay safe and feel good > (~):-}
user picture

Member for

17 years 2 months
Permalink

is just a song where only you hear the music in your mind. Its in all of us. Been writing for years. Some put to music, most not. Love the words. . .
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years
Permalink

Stu say`s thank you Marye !! I`ll be sure to post more !! sometimes the words just flow from my head, it is kinda strange sometimes,,..thanx again ! and thank everyone for the positive feedback !!! Love you all !!! Peace !!!! ............
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

its all lyric manIt took me this long to find this intro thingy, but hey everyone and hugs. i'm still just me lol Born in the bay area, have lived/traveled most of the continental US, someday will play golf in Ireland and guitar on the coast of Spain. Listened to the dead all my life and finally got on the bus in 84. The offspring (aka son-drumpup/the usual topic of my conversation if not music) is now experiencing his second year of college and doing quite well *proud mama smile* He's the self-proclaimed next Kevin Smith...although he looks more like Jay... and yes...i'm still an Oakland fan no matter what Shell game of coaches Al throws at me. I've ended up staying here in VB that i had just moved to when i started posting, have a kool new place three blocks from the ocean. its sweet. The golf playing architect (realtors lovers?:) and i finally figured out we really are meant to be together...as Jerry said 'there's nothing like a near death experience to change your outlook'. Its been quite a year but I just felt the need to say so many of ya'll have always been on my heart, always. peace Keep on rockin in the free world
user picture

Member for

17 years 5 months
Permalink

***you’ve got a lot of nerve to say you are my friend******while I was down you just stood there grinin*** I’m talking about me. If everyone could just join me in a surrealistic moment…I’m talking about me and me…I was down and I just stood there grinin…it’s a strange and terrible thing to be both I annexed Africa, a vast wasteland, a desert nobody cares about where I could do my thing…it’s the only thing I really do…really I guess in some stupid overanalyzed way, it gets exhausting especially when all I want to do is live my life, but my family is important and this is a puzzle I have to solve…so Bamski found me, and he pounced; the thing about it is, he was right, I was rambling, rambling about what to do next, what to do now with my life, because that is the only way I can communicate. I know eyes are rolling, but its true, it’s a real problem for me, and the truth of the matter is that I am a Dead Head…Pure and simple…but what Bamski was doing was only protecting what he loved, what was his…who was I? who was this new guy? This king of Africa? I’ve been a Dead Head for a long long time, but online? Hozomeen? Then there were all the great Heads that came to my rescue, those wonderful souls I have always flocked to, the ones I have always had a need to be around. You guys gave me some great insight into what has been going on with me my whole life. And it’s no coincidence that I am a Dead Head really. I went to see the captain…strangest I could find…I am looking for work right now. Until recently I was a sailor. My wife’s breast cancer last year wiped us out. We have a two year old. She can’t pick him up more than a couple times a day now. As a result, I can no longer sail. No matter, we moved to North Carolina three years ago so I could go to school and change careers. I have known something about myself. I have known that I needed a major change. I needed…needed…change in my life in order to live happily, correctly, without stress or worry or whatever you call it…that incredible bodily pain, bleeding stomach ulcers at 22, drug addiction, credit card debt, alcoholism, verbal abuse, falling out with friends, fights fights fights…I have been seeing this doctor, some kind of head doctor, uhmmm, I don’t know, anyway, he has been calling me ADHD and OCD for quite some time now, which has been very very good, but not all the questions have been answered, not really; which is not the point here, the point here is that I think I have found an answer, a condition called Asperger’s. It’s a form of autism. Lately I have been trying to find a job, any job, and it has been a major problem, confusing, not like before, but see now I am out of my comfort zone like never before…I have had bouts with these feelings in the past, but I have also been able to overcome them in some way or another; this time, this time I have hit a road block, and this time I can’t just hit the road. The main problem with my doctor is, he likes me, he likes who I am…this positive highly motivated guy, real go getter, goal oriented with confidence in himself…the fact is, though I may be all those things, I am hindered in a very real and specific way. He looks at me and says the same thing everyone has always said, “your fine, one of the best people I’ve every met.” That still doesn’t mean I’m not afraid. That still won’t reduce me, five foot ten, hundred eighty or so, state champ wrestler, sailor of the open seas, down to a teary pile of useless shit at the mere thought of going out and doing certain things…I can’t do them…they have to be done in certain ways or with certain devices or not at all…until now I have gone to great lengths to prove that I am some big tough guy…now I know what I am and I know what I’m not…and what I am is what I choose to be…what people see is a mask that my mind chooses because I can’t help it, it runs what amounts to a series of computer programs, and when it gets tripped up, like input it doesn’t recognize, you know, like when you say something to someone who is autistic, that wrong thing that sets them off, or when you type something wrong into your Apple IIe, you get the big fat Error message, and that is what you get with me too, in the flesh that is; on dead.net you get what is inside, cause for me, the possibly autistic me, this is my talent, this is what I do, I’ve been writing in notebooks and crap since I was I don’t know what… Marjie, my wife, and I had spent half our relationship by email until recently. We got engaged over an army telephone while I was in Kuwait after two months worth of emails. I sailed about 120 days at a shot and emailed her every day. I was infamous in the fleet. The email bandit or some shit. They kept up cause it was expensive. Inmarsat. Had I been an at home boyfriend, odds are she would have never gotten to know me. She sometimes asks me to write to her when I am at home; she sometimes says she misses me… it is no coincidence that I am a Dead Head. People like me have an aversion to getting picked on…they don’t know it is happening, and so they are prone to having it happen to them, I know I am, have been, was, and still are; he he he (sorry, I also like to crack myself up), the point is, it is kind of like an allergy to meanness; my sister’s husband has three brothers and it seems like they communicate with punches and insults…to me it is just crazy, I don’t understand it in the least, it almost hurts, it hurts to be over there, them all running around like dogs, dogs also all running around, children also all running around, and me…quiet, standing, drinking water mostly, sitting there in my head…so this allergy to meanness has drawn me to you, this crowd of zen, this crowd of people who are nice to one another as a rule and because you want to and not because your told… thank you everybody…thank you for being there…for being my family…for being zen…for continuing to be zen… thank you for the vast wasteland that is Africa…if there is anyone out there who needs to spill out some ramblings of there own, I also read read read and would be happy to read read read it…
user picture

Member for

16 years 8 months
Permalink

The first song I heard by the Dead was Casey Jones-I was 12. I saw my first show when I was 16 in 1986. I was hooked. For the next six or so years, I went on many tours. I still lived in Virginia but I would take off for weeks or months at a time and saw alot of shows. I had so much fun... Now, Im a mom of three, 11, 7, and 2, and I attend college online-IT major. I live in the Blue Ridge Mountains inVa.... Somewhere I have a photo album I managed to hang onto for the last twenty years...there are a few pictures from some shows in there..I'll post something when I find it again. Looking forward to chatting about some fun memories....
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years
Permalink

the welcome mat is out for you ! welcome aboard sunshine-sugaree... glad to have you here,,... lots of folks to talk with,, just don`t let the chat room get you freaked out,, it is a very very strange place .. Peace ...
user picture

Member for

16 years 8 months
Permalink

Hey Stuman, all....thanks for the welcome..just call me Stephanie : )Sugaree is one of my favorite songs though!
user picture
Default Avatar

Member for

17 years 4 months
Permalink

welcome, Stephanie!Hope you like it here. Enjoy! Peace,Gigi