Introducing Ourselves - Part 2

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September 28, 2007 - 11:08am

640 replies

marye

Joined:
May 26, 2007

Since the original topic now has hundreds of introductions and is getting a bit hard to navigate, this seems as good a time as any to launch a new one. The original is here, should you wish to catch up on the who's who since this opened up in May. If you haven't introduced yourself yet, please do! And if you already have, but have something new to tell us about you and your life, speak up! (A bit of housekeeping business so we don't have to repost everything we posted before--izzie and I are the moderators here, and for our more extensive intros see the original topic.) Thanks and welcome!

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October 29, 2007 - 4:14am

#631

david blair

Joined:
October 29, 2007

Hello everybody in

Hello everybody in Deadville First I'll say "Rock On" to Bob, the above poster, and also to the others who are involved in their communities and spreading the music. Without Jerry playing it takes a little extra to spread the vibe. Nice place here. I began by listening to Wake of the Flood. in '72, and my first live show was Oakland '75, when the Dead opened for the Who. It was Sunday, and there were bagels and little tongue treats available. Mars Hotel decorated the speaker towers, the weather was mild, and Playing in the Band took me to a new appreciation of music. Of course the people were different too, you know-like an instant feeling of extended family. A kind of fantasy family that confided secrets and trusted you as a best friend. And with this trust was a respect for any member of the Dead Head community. A trust that was rarely doubted, and a common denominator raising the bar for all of us. Well, that's about as sappy as it comes today! Lets simplify by saying that I was surprised by the honesty and generosity of my neighbors at the 100 or so shows I attended. The Dead played well, and the quality of sound was great except on rare occasion. When Jerry was smiling and Bob was screaming we had fun. When Bill and Mickey played alone some of us heard a symphony of hooves across the tundra and extra terrestrials exploring of atmosphere. When Jerry finished a first set while the audience whispered he returned with a vengeance singing "Take you to the leader of a band", later kicking of a furious pace of GTRFB while looking back at Mickey who was shaking his head saying "Yeah it's Fast". When Jerry died a lot of things went through my head. Remorse, sadness. Jerry personified many things and was a uniquely popular musician who gathered many to a real but fantastical place where we could laugh, dance, cry and trust a stranger. He sang... with a voice that could only be fully understood live. From his heart, to my soul. A month or so after he died one night I kept waking from a dream of him smiling at me practically touching noses. Like right in my face, and I kept waking up. I picked up my guitar that morning and broke into a never before done by me Poor Peter.
October 27, 2007 - 8:13pm

#632

gratefulapril

Joined:
October 26, 2007

Nothin left to do but smile smile smile

Hi, everyone! So happy to be here! I've been hanging out and checkin the scene, Seems like a really great place to be. My name is April Fawn. I'm 32. I just moved to South Florida, from North Carolina, from Massachusetts. My baby girl, Samantha was born August 1st, 2006 (i didn't even try, it just came out (scuz the pun) that way!). She's my life & love (if i had the world to give). I live with my boyfriend who I'll have to tell my full story of crazy love about later. He's my #2 fave person in the whole world, and the reason i got into the dead at all.I started listening not so long ago, only in 2001. So I missed out on the greatest trip of all, Jerry. But he's spirit so lives on in his songs and in his fans. It's crazy, cuz I watched this movie about a festival with all these awesome musicians like janis j and the dead and a bunch of other folks.... anyway they were on a train that took them from show to show, east to west. And (i can't believe I forgot the name of the movie), i cried so hard when there was this part where janis and jerry and sitting there on the train next to each other singing and drinkin and lovin it. It was like, god so freakin sad. but i thought, well, nothings over, we've all just begun. And moved on Anyway. I'm siked to be here. Glad to meet so of you so far. And can't wait to meet some more! peace & whatnots
October 26, 2007 - 8:10am

#633

iknowurider

Joined:
October 23, 2007

Good Day One & All...

It all started for me when I was 13 and heard Ramble On Rose. Grew up with my loving grandparents who thought my taste in music was(is) the DEBIL, so no shows for me until '97 JGB- Richmond, VA. I'm an avid reader and the Dead can tell a story like no other. Really dig Pig and the early music. Maybe I'm a soul born too late. Jerry has the sweetest voice I've ever heard and the music just does something to me. So to all of you who were "on the bus" from show to show - right on. You've had an experience that can't be duplicated and I respect you all a little more for it.
October 22, 2007 - 7:23am

#634

cosmicbadger

Joined:
June 13, 2007

welcome aboard Dillon

Don't let the bastards grind you down! I once read Bob Weir described as ' a rich kid run wild who had been thrown out of numerous private schools' . I myself was an underachiever in this respect having only been thrown out of one! good luck!
October 21, 2007 - 6:10pm

#635

deadheadkid

Joined:
October 21, 2007

Im dillon (please dont call

Im dillon (please dont call me dill) and im from a little town in mass. I grew up on The Dead, Beatles, Simon and Garfunkel, etc who my mom is a major fan of. I love to read anything and everything and listen to all music and play the bass guitar. I now go to a very conservative boarding school in Ct. banished by my father and step mother.Peace, love and hapiness, dillon
October 18, 2007 - 8:59am

#636

theprofessor

Joined:
October 17, 2007

hello friends old and new

Glad to come back - I used to post a bit on the old DNC.. I was also a long time user of the Well and may know a few folks here from there.. At any rate like most here, long-time Deadhead, I live in Columbia MO and host D Gans' GDH as well as an hour of my own music there on KOPN 89.5 FM every friday night. You can also listen to my radio choices at: http://deadshow.blogspot.com where I publish the Deadpod weekly.. thanks! John Henrikson
October 15, 2007 - 12:19am

#637

bobanero

Joined:
October 14, 2007

Bob from Long Island

I have a radio show on the Stony Brook University radio station (WUSB 90.1 FM or on the web at http://wusb.fm), alternating Monday mornings from 3-6AM EST called the Free Music Show, where I play live music performances that I download from www.archive.org and bt.etree.org. I do a lot of Grateful Dead, as well as other jam bands. This morning's show, which is happening RIGHT NOW, is a special 6-hour (started at midnight) 60th Birthday tribute to Bob Weir. If anybody from this forum tunes in, shoot me an e-mail at bobanero@wusb.fm or call the station at 631-632-6901 and say hello.
October 14, 2007 - 7:51pm

#638

wharfrat1490

Joined:
October 14, 2007

i am, I am, I Am, I AM!

My mom used to call me her little wharf rat (as well as urchin, and things I won't repeat here) when I was a kid, so when I first got into the Dead in the late 80's I took that handle. I understand some folks have taken it is a handle for their group; I'm not a member. I dig what they do, though. I only managed to make it to a few shows (a fella's gotta go to school and work and such) but I have an extensive collection of bootlegs, thanks to all my kind friends. I live in what's called the Northern Tier of Pennsylvania. It's the middle part of the border with New York state, so I saw a lot of shows in Buffalo, NYC, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Washington, Buckeye Lake, and on one memorable occasion, Deer Creek. I invite you to stop by the area we like to call the Endless Mountains (sounds like something outa Tolkien, huh?). It's so Appalachian, you'll think you're in Kentucky, only colder. We got mountains, coal and lotsa bluegrass! Come for The Hickory Fest in August or the Fine Arts Forum anytime and I'll see you there! Wharf Rat, Private Eye P.S. My friends give free music lessons @ Music Moose! Tell 'em Wharf Rat sent you. ;-)
October 9, 2007 - 5:26pm

#639

JosephDurham

Joined:
September 23, 2007

My name is Joseph Durham. I

My name is Joseph Durham. I never had the opportunity to see the Dead, and really never heard of them until 2 years ago. Now, I have a pretty good cllection. However, it's not good enough. I hope to get all of Dick's Picks, and both of the large boxsets. I have been eyeing those for 2 years. I am currently attending seminary for degree in ministry. Yes, a minister likes the GratefulDead. Can't help it, I know good music when I find it. I have a large library, and love to study. WHat do I d in my free time? Study, and then I study some more. :-) Sad huh?
September 29, 2007 - 10:07pm

#640

grateful_ed

Joined:
June 14, 2007

me, I ed and am quite grateful to be here...

Hey now! I am ed aka grateful_ed and the pretty lady with flowers in her hair is my beautiful wife kelley aka sisterKind aka treetop_mama but is always my mama_luv.... me well i am originally from the great city of brotherly love where i got introduced and absolutely hooked on the groove of The Grateful Dead and continue to live and dance down here in the country in Northeast Alabama hidden away in the woods with my wife, doggs, kitties and hoping soon childrens... i am a veteran of the united states navy and was fortunate to travel the world and saw my first dylan show on July 4, 1992 in Genoa Italy 1 day after my 21st birthday with a deadhead buddy of mine from my ship and that moment completely opened my eyes and woke me up to a whole new world, from there I began my exploration until i stumbled happily into the Spectrum in Philadelphia September 1993 when I caught my first show and realized what I have been missing... late in the game but at least I got to play for a few years.... i live happily and peacefully and am glad to see this forum back up and in service... hope to make some new kind friends and maybe even bump into some brothers and sisters i have not heard from in a long time!!!

Since the original topic now has hundreds of introductions and is getting a bit hard to navigate, this seems as good a time as any to launch a new one. The original is here, should you wish to catch up on the who's who since this opened up in May. If you haven't introduced yourself yet, please do! And if you already have, but have something new to tell us about you and your life, speak up! (A bit of housekeeping business so we don't have to repost everything we posted before--izzie and I are the moderators here, and for our more extensive intros see the original topic.) Thanks and welcome!

Yup we got the green pickle

Yup we got the green pickle well hidden on our x-mas tree. An odd tradition, but there it is.Hello all, just want to introduce myself: Chuck Bimba, once an active DNC poster, but caught the electronica bug a few years back and wandered off. Been digging out my old tapes recently and falling in love with the music all over again. Nice to see that Bobby and Phil and everyone are still pretty active. Nice also to see the heads are still active and supportive. I am looking forward to getting some updated music from Phil and Friends, Ratdog, Hot Tuna and others, to hear how the music is progressing. I do miss the sounds and the people who make going to hear this music so rewarding. Hope to get out and about again this year and see for myself how its going. Peace/Respect Chuck Bimba

Hi :)

Welcome Chuck!! Glad to hear you have a pickle too :)

Hi, im what i guess you

Hi, im what i guess you could call the next generation of deadhead. its possible i was born in the wrong time because the music and culture of my peers doesnt really do it for me. you guys have no idea how lucky u are to have been around during the golden days, these days we have to make do with old albums and the odd wanna-be woodstock knock off concert. P.L.U.R *Peace*Love*Unity*Respect* signed, a lost soul

If you're feeling lost

Welcome DeadHeadBornNBred. You don't have to make do with old albums anymore.There is the spirit of the Grateful Dead Music in the air,a place where millions of us can unite as one. It is live music incorporating the endless creativity that flows and allows us to feel free. It is a recent miracle called the Grateful Dead channel on Sirius satellite radio, channel 32. It is an endless joy for me to know that those who didn't experience this music the first time around can hear it now. I have been to many hundreds of shows and my 25 year partner was a taper with literally hundreds of tapes, and they play stuff on that channel that neither one of us have heard before. Absolutely amazing! Peace and Love

dead head

Hello everyone my first show was in 1980 I think alpine valley no popular creek the band arrived in helicopters pretty cool

did you say yur name was?

Hi i'm Rina a 28 a deadhead from upstate N.Y. Born in 79 to a beatles lovin' mom and a biker dad. The dead found me at age 16, my then boyfriend got me american beauty for my birthday i fell in love with both(btw i married that man). The collection began... pounds of bootlegs tapes gave way to all studio i could find..JGB,live shows, then omg dick!! love those dicks picks!!! , Jerry did something for me, i was an angry person(not sure why) his voice,thier words,the dead took that anger from me and gave me much more. when it's all said and done i always remember those wise words Don't waste your breath to save your face When you have done your best And even more is asked of you Fate will decide the rest

Grate to meet you***

Rina, always nice to have new heads on board! Peace :) and enjoy the site!!

Thank you Mom :) this is a

Thank you Mom :) this is a pic of my dog lucy and i :) she's my kid btw

oh good!

Always room for more dogs on this bus! Those are my two, Rex and Callie, in the photo. We're all much older now, but still together.

Rina

delmation? and a lab? small

delmation? and a lab? small pic can't tell, mines a boxer Rina

both!

Callie's a dalmatian and deaf. Rex is a lab/border collie mix, which I would seek out again in future dogs. I love them greatly. Callie is 10 now (and just yesterday I was asked at the dogpark if the dalmatian puppy was mine...) and Rex 13. Feel free to post about Lucy in the Your Faithful Friends topic, which is a little quiet lately.

Hey, I'm new!

I'm sixth grader who has divorced parents, my mom lives in VA (where I'm typing from in my room) and my dad who's in maryland (dont know the abreviation) from which I wont have acces here from. (the wicked step mother doesnt let me go on forums) Yeah, I'm a dead head, not hard core though. I only know 11 out of the 100 something songs they have...but they are the BEST songs in the world. Yeah, I was reading the first page of this and my situation is kinda like dylan's, but I'm not in a boarding school (thank god). I grew up on all the awsome bands/singers. I have a few dead shirts too...my favorite is the one with the bears dancing around in a spiral, my mom gave it to me. I just started playing acoustic guitar about a month ago and was looking for Grateful dead song tutorials for guitar beginers on youtube, when I found Jdark's touch of grey thing, it was way to hard and I went to his site, and then one thing lead to another and here I am. I'm not very good at it yet, I only know enough notes to count on my fingers. Like my username suggests, I love right angles and love math. I'm in a two year accelerated math class and I look forward to period 5 every day. I'm still gonna be lurking on this forum for a little while, so I can get the hang of things around here. And, if anyone has heard about webkinz, an online game, I'm an addict. They are these little stuffed animals that come with codes that you enter on the site, www.webkinz.com , to play fun games. I only get them for the games, though. The first dead song I ever heard was on 98.7 WMZQ (country station) and was friend of the devil. I'd say my favorite song is either Operator or Ripple. I'm glad I came here because this site looks great, and so do the users! Well, I gotta jump in the shower and then it's off to bed for me, but I'll be here tomorow!

Hey Love Right Angles ~

Welcome !! My daughter Cassidy is totally into Webkinz too. If you don't take care of them daily, they won't make it. I hope my children feel the way you do when they're your age. Listen to some Groovy music & take it easy. My kids LOVE Truckin & of course Cassidy!! PEACE Leanne

welcome iloverightangles!!

I have a boy in 6th grade, he is a math whiz too! He's not much of a GD fan though,he likes Beatles, and stuff like AC/DC, Van Halen etc.... rock on little man... The music never stopped Peace, Gigi

iloverightangles

Welcome! You should check out the tapers section if you already havn't,i'm new and have already enjoyed many hours there:) I love seeing kids in tye dyes! makes the day brighter.

hey now, rightangles!

welcome! I think you might be our youngest so far. Glad to have you with us.

RIGHT ON RIGHT ANGLES!

When I was in 6th grade it seemed like all of the kids listened to the dead, no doubt because of our righteous parents! Welcome aboard dude. I havn't been here that long either but I feel right at home. Stay cool little brother.

Old Poster/Tape Trader Returns

Hey all, I started posting on the original DeadNet Central back in 1997. A huge advocate for the Audience recording, I did everything I could to transfer old AUD masters into digital formats - sharing seeds of AUDs online. I've even had the pleasure of supplying David Gans with an AUD for the GDH and was interviewed on the radio show. I dropped out of the online posting sphere a few years ago, and have just started peeking my way back in (love the new Dead.net forum layout). Mostly I've started a blog aimed at helping people new to the world of Dead music online navigate the choices of shows to listen to, with a lean on the world of audience recordings. Check it out here: http://deadlistening.blogspot.com/ and let me know if you find it useful.

hey ark!

welcome, and be sure to stop by the tape traders area.

hello

Hey Now,Spent the late 80's-early 00's in Colorado. Nice to have this forum to share memories and create new ones. Live in Chicago now. Peace, Sean

thank you for all welcoming

thank you for all welcoming me, thanks! and a welcome for spinnersdelight and arkstar!

I miss Dick L.

Any friends of dick still out there ? Any stories? he was my brother, my friend. I traded him goods, he found my favorite tunes. I liked the old tunes ie., alligator, other one etc. everything he had was on reel to reel and he copied them onto cassettes for me.Not hardly anything left with his writing on it, the hawaiian sun faded my "not fade away".I live and have lived in hawaii'. I saw the warlocks play,got hauled into the haight house by Janis and listened to jorma, jack, janis, and jerry play in the front room. I remember the free concerts and the digger store. I lived upstairs from city lights books at the time, in a closet, and got to hear ferligetti,ginzburg etc. read about life "on the road" .Would love to share memories. I miss Dick L.

hey everyone

Hi everyone. Bored day at work and decided to venture away from tapetrader and got my miracle today by landing here via google. Look forward to trading with everyone and also sharing stories about show experiences.Todd

hey Todd!

welcome, and head on over to the Tapers area of the forum and sign up for some vines!

Hey Now,

Just the last couple years have been my "peak" period of Dead interest, but I've been listening to them off and on for about 20 years, saw a few late 80s/early90s shows at Autzen in Eugene, OR and one in the early 90s at Shoreline. Always dug it but just never quite got that "Must revise lifestyle to maximize show attendance!" zap...or at least it never lasted. Now I'm regretting it and downloading all the great shows I could have been at if only I'd had better priorities! I was primarily a punk rock kid during the 80s, that was a fun scene too. Last October I saw Phil at the Avalon in Chicago and was totally blown away!! Regret that I only got to see one night and will try not to make that mistake next time a Dead-related project comes through Chicago! Would love to connect with other like-minded folks in the Chicago area, especially if you're into bicycling.

Newly Dead in the head.

I would love to tell you that, in my 29 years on the planet, I've been listening to the Grateful Dead, swapping tapes, and enjoying this global family. The truth is, up until about 4 years ago, I knew the song "Truckin'," and that's about it. Then, I met this wonderful young lady who has been a Deadhead most of her life. She, in turn, introduced me to the Dead and their enormous body of work. I will admit, it was a bit overwhelming at first, but over the last few years, and several festivals to boot, I have grown into a full blow fanatic. I've played guitar for many years and I just love to hear Jerry and Bobby riff off of each other. That all being said, my name is Caleb. I married the love of my life, Amber, on Nov. 4th, 2006. We live in Oklahoma and are both enrolled in college here. She is a pre-med student, and I am going to school to be a special education teacher. We both have a deep passion for music, especially live music. She introduced me to the festival life and I have truly become addicted to the experience. I have a band and I believe our Myspace page is linked below. Other than that, I am looking forward to getting to know some of you and maybe meeting at some shows here and there. I am trying to talk my wife into going to Mountain Jam this June to see Bob and Ratdog in NY. I think that is all for right now. I look forward to extending my musical family with you all. Peace, Caleb

hey now!

Hi all... I am melissa, though picked up the nick name muffin about 8 years ago. Followed the Grateful Dead from about 90-mid 94...always used my real name on tour, never a "rainbow" name, which is funny as my friends giving me a nickname now, but that is a whole different story and world from tour anyway! lived in the haight, la, oakland, and many other wonderful places... I do miss my boys and would have stayed through the end if not for the state of ohio thinking differently! anyway, I have long waited to join here, and lately have had the time to do so, what with it being so cold and icky this winter! muffin www.creativemuffin.com

Welcome Muffin

i know u will find some kind people here...i loved ur website and sent my wife there to buy some of ur necklaces. stay safe and feel good! >><<<< :>

Hello to all like myself

Do people around you tell you that they are sick of hearing The Dead? That that's all you listen to> well that's what I get most of the time. So it's nice to hang with people who appreciate the finest things in life. I'll be pokin around here now and again, so maybe well bumb into each other and say Hi. PEACE

Wobbs 7

I get that too, obvioulsy "they" have no taste for the finer things in life! Peace & Welcome

"them"

there's lots of different kinds of "theys" out there, most of 'em aren't very cool, but some of 'em will do in a pinch. Thanks for the welcome

new to posting my info

i am new to posting. ive been a deadhead since mid seventies hit some shows late seventies and the eighties mostly chicago and wisconsin , area.rosemont horizon, alpine valley and popular creek. needed to stay away from the party for sometime which at times i regret but kept me alive then i went to see the other ones in pa (montage) and nj (continenal areana). excellent shows. the music never stopped i kept listening. I am grateful for this site thanks

A Recovering Lawyer

I went to law school, graduated, passed the bar and became a lawyer. I am so, so sorry about that. I really hope that the damage I did to the world will soon pass, even though the evil that men do lives on after them. At least I quit when I realized what I had done. Now I try to do some good every day to try and compensate. It's not enough, but the effort is there. I play the Dead through my headphones to try and repair my soul. Please let that be enough. But who am I kidding? I was a lawyer. My God, what have I done? Peace.

just a poem

Here I am afraid I`ll rot I beg of you to tell me not I don`t want to rot my brain to stop my heart to drop so I beg of you to tell me not you will not rot brain won`t stop your heart won`t drop so here I am to tell you not 1-30-08 One of my darkest day`s If your love is true you can make it through. 1-30-08............yes sometimes I do feel like this .... Hey Marye ,, any room for a poetry section ? I have lots of them... sure others have some they may want to share.... Peace !! Have a wonderful day !!

hm...

not a bad idea. Any other poets on the bus here?

Poets

I think CCJ is a poet with flair!

cool

good stuff

Poets u say....

i will glady pay u tuesday for a hamburger 2day...:) seriously, i think its a grate idea!!! stay safe and feel good > (~):-}

Poetry

is just a song where only you hear the music in your mind. Its in all of us. Been writing for years. Some put to music, most not. Love the words. . .

Okay, poets...

go for it! http://www.dead.net/forum/poets-corner

Many thanx Marye

Stu say`s thank you Marye !! I`ll be sure to post more !! sometimes the words just flow from my head, it is kinda strange sometimes,,..thanx again ! and thank everyone for the positive feedback !!! Love you all !!! Peace !!!! ............

an excellent idea...

its all lyric manIt took me this long to find this intro thingy, but hey everyone and hugs. i'm still just me lol Born in the bay area, have lived/traveled most of the continental US, someday will play golf in Ireland and guitar on the coast of Spain. Listened to the dead all my life and finally got on the bus in 84. The offspring (aka son-drumpup/the usual topic of my conversation if not music) is now experiencing his second year of college and doing quite well *proud mama smile* He's the self-proclaimed next Kevin Smith...although he looks more like Jay... and yes...i'm still an Oakland fan no matter what Shell game of coaches Al throws at me. I've ended up staying here in VB that i had just moved to when i started posting, have a kool new place three blocks from the ocean. its sweet. The golf playing architect (realtors lovers?:) and i finally figured out we really are meant to be together...as Jerry said 'there's nothing like a near death experience to change your outlook'. Its been quite a year but I just felt the need to say so many of ya'll have always been on my heart, always. peace Keep on rockin in the free world

Hello

***you’ve got a lot of nerve to say you are my friend******while I was down you just stood there grinin*** I’m talking about me. If everyone could just join me in a surrealistic moment…I’m talking about me and me…I was down and I just stood there grinin…it’s a strange and terrible thing to be both I annexed Africa, a vast wasteland, a desert nobody cares about where I could do my thing…it’s the only thing I really do…really I guess in some stupid overanalyzed way, it gets exhausting especially when all I want to do is live my life, but my family is important and this is a puzzle I have to solve…so Bamski found me, and he pounced; the thing about it is, he was right, I was rambling, rambling about what to do next, what to do now with my life, because that is the only way I can communicate. I know eyes are rolling, but its true, it’s a real problem for me, and the truth of the matter is that I am a Dead Head…Pure and simple…but what Bamski was doing was only protecting what he loved, what was his…who was I? who was this new guy? This king of Africa? I’ve been a Dead Head for a long long time, but online? Hozomeen? Then there were all the great Heads that came to my rescue, those wonderful souls I have always flocked to, the ones I have always had a need to be around. You guys gave me some great insight into what has been going on with me my whole life. And it’s no coincidence that I am a Dead Head really. I went to see the captain…strangest I could find…I am looking for work right now. Until recently I was a sailor. My wife’s breast cancer last year wiped us out. We have a two year old. She can’t pick him up more than a couple times a day now. As a result, I can no longer sail. No matter, we moved to North Carolina three years ago so I could go to school and change careers. I have known something about myself. I have known that I needed a major change. I needed…needed…change in my life in order to live happily, correctly, without stress or worry or whatever you call it…that incredible bodily pain, bleeding stomach ulcers at 22, drug addiction, credit card debt, alcoholism, verbal abuse, falling out with friends, fights fights fights…I have been seeing this doctor, some kind of head doctor, uhmmm, I don’t know, anyway, he has been calling me ADHD and OCD for quite some time now, which has been very very good, but not all the questions have been answered, not really; which is not the point here, the point here is that I think I have found an answer, a condition called Asperger’s. It’s a form of autism. Lately I have been trying to find a job, any job, and it has been a major problem, confusing, not like before, but see now I am out of my comfort zone like never before…I have had bouts with these feelings in the past, but I have also been able to overcome them in some way or another; this time, this time I have hit a road block, and this time I can’t just hit the road. The main problem with my doctor is, he likes me, he likes who I am…this positive highly motivated guy, real go getter, goal oriented with confidence in himself…the fact is, though I may be all those things, I am hindered in a very real and specific way. He looks at me and says the same thing everyone has always said, “your fine, one of the best people I’ve every met.” That still doesn’t mean I’m not afraid. That still won’t reduce me, five foot ten, hundred eighty or so, state champ wrestler, sailor of the open seas, down to a teary pile of useless shit at the mere thought of going out and doing certain things…I can’t do them…they have to be done in certain ways or with certain devices or not at all…until now I have gone to great lengths to prove that I am some big tough guy…now I know what I am and I know what I’m not…and what I am is what I choose to be…what people see is a mask that my mind chooses because I can’t help it, it runs what amounts to a series of computer programs, and when it gets tripped up, like input it doesn’t recognize, you know, like when you say something to someone who is autistic, that wrong thing that sets them off, or when you type something wrong into your Apple IIe, you get the big fat Error message, and that is what you get with me too, in the flesh that is; on dead.net you get what is inside, cause for me, the possibly autistic me, this is my talent, this is what I do, I’ve been writing in notebooks and crap since I was I don’t know what… Marjie, my wife, and I had spent half our relationship by email until recently. We got engaged over an army telephone while I was in Kuwait after two months worth of emails. I sailed about 120 days at a shot and emailed her every day. I was infamous in the fleet. The email bandit or some shit. They kept up cause it was expensive. Inmarsat. Had I been an at home boyfriend, odds are she would have never gotten to know me. She sometimes asks me to write to her when I am at home; she sometimes says she misses me… it is no coincidence that I am a Dead Head. People like me have an aversion to getting picked on…they don’t know it is happening, and so they are prone to having it happen to them, I know I am, have been, was, and still are; he he he (sorry, I also like to crack myself up), the point is, it is kind of like an allergy to meanness; my sister’s husband has three brothers and it seems like they communicate with punches and insults…to me it is just crazy, I don’t understand it in the least, it almost hurts, it hurts to be over there, them all running around like dogs, dogs also all running around, children also all running around, and me…quiet, standing, drinking water mostly, sitting there in my head…so this allergy to meanness has drawn me to you, this crowd of zen, this crowd of people who are nice to one another as a rule and because you want to and not because your told… thank you everybody…thank you for being there…for being my family…for being zen…for continuing to be zen… thank you for the vast wasteland that is Africa…if there is anyone out there who needs to spill out some ramblings of there own, I also read read read and would be happy to read read read it…

Hi

The first song I heard by the Dead was Casey Jones-I was 12. I saw my first show when I was 16 in 1986. I was hooked. For the next six or so years, I went on many tours. I still lived in Virginia but I would take off for weeks or months at a time and saw alot of shows. I had so much fun... Now, Im a mom of three, 11, 7, and 2, and I attend college online-IT major. I live in the Blue Ridge Mountains inVa.... Somewhere I have a photo album I managed to hang onto for the last twenty years...there are a few pictures from some shows in there..I'll post something when I find it again. Looking forward to chatting about some fun memories....