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continuing the free-form from where we left it...
"As the overweight frontman for Blues Traveler,..."
Does anybody besides me find that fricking bizarre? In relation to what the news article is about, does it really matter whether Popper is chubby or thin or peg-legged or an albino or anything else like that?
Just struck me weird, but perhaps is me.
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live.
Samuel Clemens
Johnman
I dated a woman in Spokane whose father is a retired police officer. It's a stat passed on by word of mouth. No scientific study here. Hey did you see my post that I saw Mickey Hart on television, yesterday. He said the band may get together for a tour next year.
I'm just saying, johnman...
That Phooey porn is some hot stuff. Wicked hot.
I've dropped a cookie myself, but the dog got to it before I could pick it up and dust it off. Pretty fast for a fat old yellow dog.
Cheers, dude!
MarkintheDark
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Hey, where did my sweet Tour Cheer go?
Coulda sworn I hit "post". Hmm
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I was taught the fable years ago...
...and finally got around to typing it up. This seemed like an appropriate place, it seems to bring out the (barely repressed) weirdness in me.
Words of wisdom, no doubt.
Glad you enjoyed it, kid!
MitD
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I've become overwhelmed by an irrepressible urge...
Pirate walks into a bar, with a large oddly shaped bulge in his pantaloons. Bartender says "excuse me sir, I couldn't help but notice - is that a ship's wheel in your pants?" and the pirate says "Yarr, it's drivin' me nuts"
Chinese guy walks into a bar with a large brightly colored parrot on his shoulder. Bartender says "well, there's something you don't see every day. Where did you get that, then?" and the parrot says "China, there's like a billion of them over there"
A priest, a rabbi, an elephant and an S&M fetishist walk into a bar and the bartender says "What is this, some kinda joke?"
A dog walks into a bar, strolls up to the bartender, rears up on his hind legs and says "Hey, looky here, I'm a talking dog. That's pretty impressive isn't it, don't you think I deserve a free drink?" and the bartender says "Sure, the toilet's down the hall and to your left"
Now to separate the philosophy majors from the boys:
Rene Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "So Rene, would you like a drink?" Descartes replies "I think not"...and disappears.
Je pense donc je suis, dudes!
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Couldn't type the best one
It involves a blue whale and a sound effect. Doesn't translate to print.
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Here we go.....
A Deadhead and his dog walked into a bar. The Deadhead said to the bartender, "Can I have a beer? I don’t have any money, but I have this talking dog." The bartender said, "If your dog can really talk, I’ll give you a beer on the house." The Deadhead said to the dog, "Hey, what’s your favorite Dead song?" The dog barked, "Wharf, Wharf, Wharf." The bartender, furious, threw the Deadhead and the dog out of the bar. Once outside, the dog turned to the Deadhead and said, "Maybe I should have said Dark Star."
HeeHee!
QUACK!
Peace,Gigi
Happy Friday!
Glad you liked it!!TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a grateful day!!
Peace,Gigi
ohhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
you people are just plain wrong............i've tried 3 times to get past "wharf, wharf" without chokin'....and i just can't do it!!................how many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?.............don't be ridiculous,everyone knows they screw in vw buses!!..........thanx mark and gigi for shining a little light on my otherwise shitty life....i can start this day with a smile and a little hope!!!!
Good job there, g-mom and johnman
Better threads get started with bartender jokes.
Cheers,
MarkintheDark
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Five blondes
walk into a bar.
You'd think at least one of them would have seen it...
Conversation is always more interesting than recitation, so speak your mind and not someone else's.
thanxs folks
Grate way to start off a Friday :) I'd like to tell a joke too, but I always F up the punchline..
PEACE
OH, now theres an idea!
nice thought, mom!grate jokes.... screw in a light bulb. HA
hippie friday all
peace
nice mouth ride!
Yeah iknowyourider, we've
Yeah iknowyourider, we've been around you long enough to know your vocabulary is more colorful than a double rainbow!....and we all know magic happens around double rainbows.;))
I LOVE FRIDAYS!!!!!!!!!
You people are so easy to manipulate...
...I should start another thread by showing my boobs.
Do you know what's brown and sticky?
A stick
(my daughter thought that was a scream when she was five. My ex-wife didn't get it)
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Angel on the left shoulder, devil on the right...
And the angel on the left says "tell jokes, be positive, enjoy life!" while the devil on the right says "well, that's all fine but don't forget the DEADNETSTORE SUCKS!"
Sometimes, the devil is right.
Hypothetical situation: say you have a friend who has just had a baby, and you thought it would be cool to send the new baby a gift, and say you thought it would be cool if that gift was, oh, I don't know, maybe a Grateful Dead themed onesie. Let's also say you would like to buy this through the deadnetstore because maybe some tiny percentage of the profits supports this fine website. I am here to tell you the odds are four out of five you will be disappointed. Five onesies shown on the Babies and Kids apparel page, and four of them are of course "currently out of inventory" (and, of course, you have to open each individual page to find this out). Both the youth tees shown are also out of inventory. The one allegedly available Moon Jerry onesie is cute enough; I refuse to buy it just because its the only one there; it's my least favorite of the choices they used to have so I will look elsewhere.
I don't know the deal is with the store, if operation of the store is something that is contracted out or not. If so, the contractor is costing Dead, Inc. business and should be replaced. I'm all about not tying up cash in a lot of inventory, but if you're going to show it on the webpage you need to have it in stock, wouldn't be that hard to hide those webpages and take down the thumbnails. Yeah, it would be painfully obvious that the shelves are empty but c'mon, the shelves ARE empty. If on the other hand, it is a Dead, Inc operated business, maybe they should consider contracting it out. That thing ain't right. Sure, the people in customer service are all nice and friendly but all the customer service in the world doesn't do any good if you don't have jack shit to sell!
Sorry about the negativity, but, you know, SUCKS.
Ok, shoo devil. I'd rather tell jokes.
(after I get back from any one of those dozens of hippie shops that always seem to have stuff in stock, usually cheaper)
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Devil's back for a short nose-rubbing visit
First off, note the time of the posts, I'm back in like two minutes - well, plus typing time, and deleting foul language.
Googled "Grateful Dead Onesie" and the first stinkin' hit is SunshineJoy, and they have *lots* of onesies. They have all five that the deadnetstore have, err had, plus six others. No irritating "out of inventory" signs, and fifty cents cheaper each (that's just 3% cheaper, but still...). Doggonit.
That's the only drawback, they have so many it's going to take me forever to decide which I like best. So many choices!
doggonit. I feel like I'm cheating on a girlfriend. But it's cheating on a girlfriend that won't put out ;^D
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Holy peanuts batman!!!!!
Ok, now I see what the uproar is about! The store ran out of the Egypt Blanket! The blanket! You can't run out of the blanket!!!
It's winter!!
Linus would not be happy with this.
I will chalk it up to overwhelming demand for products representing the Gratest Band in the Land!
Still think Linus is not happy. ;((
ok settle down guys
heres a joke for ya to calm down with.so a man and a woman statue are in this park for about 50 years, modeled as a pair of young lovers. and so one day, and angel comes down and brings them to life. He says to em "since you have been such good statues, i have decided to grant you an hour of life. The statues approach each other slowly, smile, and make a mad dash for the bushes. After half an hour of much shaking and giggling coming form the bushes, they both emerge, looking rather dissheveled, but all smiles. The angel gives them a kind look and says, you know, you still have half and hour left. They turn to each other, and the female statue says, "alright, now you hold down the pigeon and ill shit on its head."
Peace,
The Kid
I always liked the statue joke!
Good job, kid.
So this woman took her toddler son to the zoo for the first time. They walk by the elephant pen, and there's a big bull elephant there munching away on some hay.
"Mama, what kind of critter is that?" the boy asks.
"That's a big boy elephant" replies the mother.
The boy points at the elephant's trunk and asks "Mama, what's that thing the elephant is picking up the hay with?" and Mama says "why, that's the elephant's trunk. It's his big long nose that he picks up things with, and sometimes he uses it to give himself a shower."
"Wow", says the boy, "and what are those big flappy things on the side of it's head?". "Why, those are his ears that he hears with, and sometimes he flaps them around to cool off."
"Wow" says the boy again. The boy then points down between the bull elephant's legs at the large, you know, bull elephant thing hanging down there.
"Mama, what's that thing hanging down there?" "Oh, son" replies Mama, "that's not anything. Now lets go get some ice cream."
A few weeks later the boy's father takes him to the zoo, and like children do the boy asked his father the same questions (to see if they can't get different answers, sneaky little imps). They walk by the elephant pen and the bull elephant is there, munching away on hay. The boy begins with the questions. He asks his father about the elephant's trunk, and his father give the same answer as the mother had. The boy asks his father about the elephant's ears, and again the father gives the same answer as the mother had.
The boy then points down between the elephant's legs and asks "Papa, what's that thing hanging down there?" and the father answers "Why son, that's the elephant's penis, which he uses to pee pee with, and to help the girl elephants make baby elephants".
"But Papa, Mama said that's not anything."
The father chuckles and says "Well, son, I kinda spoil your mother."
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now THAT, kid,
is the funniest joke i have heard (heard?) in quite sometime. thank you, i really needed that
Best of Luck Lil
TigerLily has moved back to Germany
i wish her the best of luck, and hope everything goes well.
I am now alone in South of spain
Bob
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Spanish Jam
Hey Rene'.......QUACK!
Sending you moving vibes, I hope all goes GRATE for you!!QUACK QUACK!!
and all good things in all good time!
Three reasons why today didn't suck so much
In spite of what you may have read, I try to maintain a positive attitude. Here are three reasons why today didn't suck so much. In no particular order:
1. I discovered that the Indian-operated Chevron gas station a few blocks from my apartment has an interesting selection of incense, quite of few of which appear to be authentically Indian and including nag champa - now I don't have to drive all the way to Electric Ladyland (a local headshop) to score smells. (this does have a big drawback, in that the employees at the headshop tend to be cute li'l alt.coeds; Raji at the gas station, although friendly, I do not find attractive)
2. I don't particularly care for either team playing Monday Night Football, so I won't be disappointed by whoever wins/loses (unlike most of Sunday's games)
3. My copy of Road Trips Vol. 2, No. 1 arrived today!
Cheers!
MarkintheDark
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you failed to mention
the availability of cake and/or cookies. sorry...but..............ah, well
It's the Phoo Bird!
It's the Phoo Bird, capital P, capital B and its named should only be uttered with a hushed tone of fearful respect. You think not sending on a chain letter will jinx ya, you don't want to phuck with the Phoo Bird.
Hey johnman, cookies and cake are basic food groups to me, so they didn't factor into the "why things didn't suck so much" equation - they're *always* available. When the Little Debbie stash gets down to half a cabinet it's time to go shopping.
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Oh Johnman
Sounds like Mark is not so in the dark bout cookies, and just may be a man after your own heart. Just know he's slaying me in this thread.**********************************
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live.
Samuel Clemens
Apparently didn't pick up on the tone either, dude.
But the good news is: TigerLilly is easily amused :^D
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quick pop in
quick pop in from the road...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wenonah,_New_Jersey#External_links
please scroll down to the bottom of the page.
gee whiz??!!
I wonder how that got in there.
good luck wiht the new place, Mom!!
love and peace.
yuk yuk yuk.
love and peace.
guess it must be a private joke
i don't see anything of interest at the bottom of the page.....'course, i trip over my doorstep every mornin', too!
I saw it, and it ruined my dinner...
...because I am having a frozen pot pie, and the thought of a brand new Grateful Mom-run Italian market/deli/restaurant (note correct spelling) just made me focus on how pathetic a frozen pot pie for dinner really is.
I will have to have many cookies for dessert.
Good job CC. The Wiki-wonks will take it out though, they tend to be humorless that way.
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ok, found it
but i'd swear it wasn't there when i looked earlier, then again, i'd swear that a turkey pot pie ain't that bad with tobasco, shredded cheese, garlic salt, and 7 beers
Hey now!
I can't see it and thats not fair...what does it say!!!!
OMG we were soo freaking busy these past daze!!
We are so unprepared for the crowd!!
But people were so nice and we are so grateful!!
Im drinking some vino now trying to chill...we need help , send some helping vibes!
Peace, Gigi