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  • MarkintheDark
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    Happy Anniversary, johnman!
    And many groovy more! ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
  • johnman
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    o.k.....so
    like 6 hours ago i was lookin' at my profile page, tryin' ta figure out when my actual aniv. as a member here is, and it said i had like, 52 weeks 18 hrs....i'm assuming this was a leap year as 52 weeks is a year, right? so i'm thinkin' 18 + 6 is 24....gotta be at 4PM right?....so 4 rolls around and i check my page and it says 1 year 2 hrs.....too make matters worse, yesterday mornin' it said 52 weeks.......and when i post it says my aniv. is the 26th.....i've always thought i never needed help being confused...apparently i have been mistaken all these years.....oh well...Merry Christmas everyone!!
  • MarkintheDark
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    Here is the smart-ass remark. Here is the smart-ass remark.
    A recent post to the site 12/24, categorized as a story (that will probably disappear before long): "Sale Info Here is the promo page. Here is the promo page. Here is the promo page. Here is the promo page. Here is the promo page. Here is the promo page. Here is the promo page. Here is the promo page. Here is the promo page. Here is the promo page." (repeated another 94 or so times) Looks like a placeholder for some webprogramming. Maybe the deadnetstore had as disappointing holiday sales season as most other stores did, but I can't help but think they'd have had better sales if they had things to sell. Actually I have solved this merchandise problem for them, using a tribal philosophy with a dash of corporate geekiness. Dead.net needs to get out of the business of selling merchandise, except perhaps for actual music (CDs, downloads or whatever) and the limited edition tie-ins, and collectibles (posters, autographed things, fundraising stuff). They can't compete, either in selection or price, with about a bazillion small businesses that are on the 'net. I investigated this during the "Long Night of the Onesie", when I tried yet again to buy something at dead.net only to discover they were out of most of the items they showed on the initial webpages for that category. When I googled "Grateful Dead Onesie" I got those bazillion hits mentioned above, and these vendors had *wonderful* selections, all in stock, everything that had been available at the dead.net store (at some time in the past, I suppose). My admittedly brief survey suggested that these stores were overall cheaper, as well. So here's what the Dead Inc. people need to do: rather than waste a lot of time and effort trying to have a store of their own and keeping the applicable webpages current (or lose sales having somebody else manage the store for them, whichever it is), they need to go the Webring route, and direct potential customers to one of those other stores that do actually carry stuff, in stock. And these stores have a *huge* variety of things, too, that you never see at dead.net. All the items that the deadstore has (excepting the Egypt '78 tie-ins, which I expect to be on sale soon) plus the usual hippy goodies, beaded curtains, incense, stickers etc etc. Lot of it appears to be licensed goods, anyway, so GDP must've gotten a little fee in there somewhere already. Deadcorp. just needs to approach these vendors and offer to link to their site for some small percentage of any sales generated by customers crossing over from dead.net. Tracking the transaction is doable. The small (well-stocked & efficient) business gets to be a Dead.net preferred vendor, customers increase as a result, dead.net doesn't need to worry about having a store, and people can easily have access to a wider variety of merchandise, clothes, jewelry, books, everything. I've gotten references to several sites through users here at dead.net, and spent several hundred dollars as a result jsut in the last few months. If I would've used a link through the website to get to these other vendors (since I always start at dead.net) then DeadCorp would have gotten some little cut of the action, for no trouble at all. Viola! the problem is solved! And in a nice, communal fashion as well. There can be a nice group of pages here with links to other stores showing their logos or whatever, categorized or not. The dead.net site already does something vaguely similar, in the "Your Own Storefront" forum, this would just be bigger, centralized, flashier and more "professional". The Dead Mall. Lots of nice groovy names, too. "Dharma Rose", "SunshineJoy", like that. Brilliant. Ah, I'm a genius. You can send me a present, out of gratitude. Probably have an extra pyramid laying around, that'll be OK I guess, as long as I don't have to pay the shipping :^) (and look, here's one of those businesses to get ya started, and Beth sends the profits to Rex!) ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
  • MarkintheDark
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    I ate all the peanut butter patties within days...
    ...of receiving my order. Samoas is (now=was) all I had left. Whole wheat muffins too! I didn't realize the NY Archive set had ever disappeared from amazon. I saw it when it was first posted, realized that it would set me back over five hundred bucks to enjoy (over $350 for the set, $150 for a blu-ray player) and couldn't look back. I have pretty low-def ears anyway. ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
  • pkpotter
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    Things are looking up
    markinthedark has moved to a much higher quality muffin meal and Neil's Archives are back up on amazon. I am sure it's just a coincedence.
  • johnman
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    sounds good
    but ya'd hafta eat 'bout 9 of 'em...........ditch the samoa's tho...peanut butter patties, dude!
  • MarkintheDark
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    It's a little better tonight...
    English muffin pepperoni pizzas! (and leftover samoas) ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
  • johnman
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    ohhhhhh!!!
    the horror....the horror
  • pkpotter
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    It's a sad day
    Sir markinthedark is relegated to eating frozen pot pies, and Neil Young's Archives have been pulled from amazon today, again. ;((
  • grdaed73
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    hey johnman!
    i got an email this morning, scary shit dude! they are selling flying monkeys as stocking stuffers... must be some kinda devious plan abounding! 3 for $10, an army is amassing. be sure to cover all beer xmas day, they will be in the air!!
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continuing the free-form from where we left it...
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Does anybody besides me find that fricking bizarre? In relation to what the news article is about, does it really matter whether Popper is chubby or thin or peg-legged or an albino or anything else like that? Just struck me weird, but perhaps is me. ********************************** Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live. Samuel Clemens
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I dated a woman in Spokane whose father is a retired police officer. It's a stat passed on by word of mouth. No scientific study here. Hey did you see my post that I saw Mickey Hart on television, yesterday. He said the band may get together for a tour next year.
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16 years 8 months
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the band is adding wood to the fire, so to speak......still bet they don't hit washington state!!
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16 years 8 months
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believe ya think i'd drop a cookie..........damn!
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16 years 1 month
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That Phooey porn is some hot stuff. Wicked hot. I've dropped a cookie myself, but the dog got to it before I could pick it up and dust it off. Pretty fast for a fat old yellow dog. Cheers, dude! MarkintheDark ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
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16 years 10 months
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i LOVE that story. me want more. MORE. will give cookies for more.Peace, The Kid
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16 years 1 month
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...and finally got around to typing it up. This seemed like an appropriate place, it seems to bring out the (barely repressed) weirdness in me. Words of wisdom, no doubt. Glad you enjoyed it, kid! MitD ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
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Pirate walks into a bar, with a large oddly shaped bulge in his pantaloons. Bartender says "excuse me sir, I couldn't help but notice - is that a ship's wheel in your pants?" and the pirate says "Yarr, it's drivin' me nuts" Chinese guy walks into a bar with a large brightly colored parrot on his shoulder. Bartender says "well, there's something you don't see every day. Where did you get that, then?" and the parrot says "China, there's like a billion of them over there" A priest, a rabbi, an elephant and an S&M fetishist walk into a bar and the bartender says "What is this, some kinda joke?" A dog walks into a bar, strolls up to the bartender, rears up on his hind legs and says "Hey, looky here, I'm a talking dog. That's pretty impressive isn't it, don't you think I deserve a free drink?" and the bartender says "Sure, the toilet's down the hall and to your left" Now to separate the philosophy majors from the boys: Rene Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "So Rene, would you like a drink?" Descartes replies "I think not"...and disappears. Je pense donc je suis, dudes! ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
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It involves a blue whale and a sound effect. Doesn't translate to print. ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
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A Deadhead and his dog walked into a bar. The Deadhead said to the bartender, "Can I have a beer? I don’t have any money, but I have this talking dog." The bartender said, "If your dog can really talk, I’ll give you a beer on the house." The Deadhead said to the dog, "Hey, what’s your favorite Dead song?" The dog barked, "Wharf, Wharf, Wharf." The bartender, furious, threw the Deadhead and the dog out of the bar. Once outside, the dog turned to the Deadhead and said, "Maybe I should have said Dark Star." HeeHee! QUACK! Peace,Gigi
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17 years 3 months
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So good to start it off with that Gigi!
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17 years 1 month
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Glad you liked it!!TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a grateful day!! Peace,Gigi
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16 years 8 months
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you people are just plain wrong............i've tried 3 times to get past "wharf, wharf" without chokin'....and i just can't do it!!................how many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?.............don't be ridiculous,everyone knows they screw in vw buses!!..........thanx mark and gigi for shining a little light on my otherwise shitty life....i can start this day with a smile and a little hope!!!!
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walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would have seen it... Conversation is always more interesting than recitation, so speak your mind and not someone else's.
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17 years 1 month
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Always a blonde joke in there right?Ha!
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16 years 10 months
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Grate way to start off a Friday :) I'd like to tell a joke too, but I always F up the punchline.. PEACE
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16 years 8 months
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Haven't even had my coffee yet, it was all I could come up with! Conversation is always more interesting than recitation, so speak your mind and not someone else's.
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17 years 1 month
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Like we never heard or read the F word!!
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17 years 3 months
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nice thought, mom!grate jokes.... screw in a light bulb. HA hippie friday all peace nice mouth ride!
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17 years 3 months
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Yeah iknowyourider, we've been around you long enough to know your vocabulary is more colorful than a double rainbow!....and we all know magic happens around double rainbows.;)) I LOVE FRIDAYS!!!!!!!!!
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...I should start another thread by showing my boobs. Do you know what's brown and sticky? A stick (my daughter thought that was a scream when she was five. My ex-wife didn't get it) ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
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16 years 6 months
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Like when " the compass always points to Terrapin?"Have a good weekend, peace-out!
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17 years 3 months
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Yes, but many times it points to Winterland! ;))
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And the angel on the left says "tell jokes, be positive, enjoy life!" while the devil on the right says "well, that's all fine but don't forget the DEADNETSTORE SUCKS!" Sometimes, the devil is right. Hypothetical situation: say you have a friend who has just had a baby, and you thought it would be cool to send the new baby a gift, and say you thought it would be cool if that gift was, oh, I don't know, maybe a Grateful Dead themed onesie. Let's also say you would like to buy this through the deadnetstore because maybe some tiny percentage of the profits supports this fine website. I am here to tell you the odds are four out of five you will be disappointed. Five onesies shown on the Babies and Kids apparel page, and four of them are of course "currently out of inventory" (and, of course, you have to open each individual page to find this out). Both the youth tees shown are also out of inventory. The one allegedly available Moon Jerry onesie is cute enough; I refuse to buy it just because its the only one there; it's my least favorite of the choices they used to have so I will look elsewhere. I don't know the deal is with the store, if operation of the store is something that is contracted out or not. If so, the contractor is costing Dead, Inc. business and should be replaced. I'm all about not tying up cash in a lot of inventory, but if you're going to show it on the webpage you need to have it in stock, wouldn't be that hard to hide those webpages and take down the thumbnails. Yeah, it would be painfully obvious that the shelves are empty but c'mon, the shelves ARE empty. If on the other hand, it is a Dead, Inc operated business, maybe they should consider contracting it out. That thing ain't right. Sure, the people in customer service are all nice and friendly but all the customer service in the world doesn't do any good if you don't have jack shit to sell! Sorry about the negativity, but, you know, SUCKS. Ok, shoo devil. I'd rather tell jokes. (after I get back from any one of those dozens of hippie shops that always seem to have stuff in stock, usually cheaper) ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
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First off, note the time of the posts, I'm back in like two minutes - well, plus typing time, and deleting foul language. Googled "Grateful Dead Onesie" and the first stinkin' hit is SunshineJoy, and they have *lots* of onesies. They have all five that the deadnetstore have, err had, plus six others. No irritating "out of inventory" signs, and fifty cents cheaper each (that's just 3% cheaper, but still...). Doggonit. That's the only drawback, they have so many it's going to take me forever to decide which I like best. So many choices! doggonit. I feel like I'm cheating on a girlfriend. But it's cheating on a girlfriend that won't put out ;^D ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
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Ok, now I see what the uproar is about! The store ran out of the Egypt Blanket! The blanket! You can't run out of the blanket!!! It's winter!! Linus would not be happy with this. I will chalk it up to overwhelming demand for products representing the Gratest Band in the Land! Still think Linus is not happy. ;((
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heres a joke for ya to calm down with.so a man and a woman statue are in this park for about 50 years, modeled as a pair of young lovers. and so one day, and angel comes down and brings them to life. He says to em "since you have been such good statues, i have decided to grant you an hour of life. The statues approach each other slowly, smile, and make a mad dash for the bushes. After half an hour of much shaking and giggling coming form the bushes, they both emerge, looking rather dissheveled, but all smiles. The angel gives them a kind look and says, you know, you still have half and hour left. They turn to each other, and the female statue says, "alright, now you hold down the pigeon and ill shit on its head." Peace, The Kid
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17 years 1 month
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Kid your Quacking me up :)
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Good job, kid. So this woman took her toddler son to the zoo for the first time. They walk by the elephant pen, and there's a big bull elephant there munching away on some hay. "Mama, what kind of critter is that?" the boy asks. "That's a big boy elephant" replies the mother. The boy points at the elephant's trunk and asks "Mama, what's that thing the elephant is picking up the hay with?" and Mama says "why, that's the elephant's trunk. It's his big long nose that he picks up things with, and sometimes he uses it to give himself a shower." "Wow", says the boy, "and what are those big flappy things on the side of it's head?". "Why, those are his ears that he hears with, and sometimes he flaps them around to cool off." "Wow" says the boy again. The boy then points down between the bull elephant's legs at the large, you know, bull elephant thing hanging down there. "Mama, what's that thing hanging down there?" "Oh, son" replies Mama, "that's not anything. Now lets go get some ice cream." A few weeks later the boy's father takes him to the zoo, and like children do the boy asked his father the same questions (to see if they can't get different answers, sneaky little imps). They walk by the elephant pen and the bull elephant is there, munching away on hay. The boy begins with the questions. He asks his father about the elephant's trunk, and his father give the same answer as the mother had. The boy asks his father about the elephant's ears, and again the father gives the same answer as the mother had. The boy then points down between the elephant's legs and asks "Papa, what's that thing hanging down there?" and the father answers "Why son, that's the elephant's penis, which he uses to pee pee with, and to help the girl elephants make baby elephants". "But Papa, Mama said that's not anything." The father chuckles and says "Well, son, I kinda spoil your mother." ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
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16 years 8 months
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is the funniest joke i have heard (heard?) in quite sometime. thank you, i really needed that
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17 years 3 months
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TigerLily has moved back to Germany i wish her the best of luck, and hope everything goes well. I am now alone in South of spain Bob - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Spanish Jam
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17 years 1 month
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Sending you moving vibes, I hope all goes GRATE for you!!QUACK QUACK!! and all good things in all good time!
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16 years 10 months
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best of luck and good vibes rene.mark, thats a great joke Peace, The Kid
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In spite of what you may have read, I try to maintain a positive attitude. Here are three reasons why today didn't suck so much. In no particular order: 1. I discovered that the Indian-operated Chevron gas station a few blocks from my apartment has an interesting selection of incense, quite of few of which appear to be authentically Indian and including nag champa - now I don't have to drive all the way to Electric Ladyland (a local headshop) to score smells. (this does have a big drawback, in that the employees at the headshop tend to be cute li'l alt.coeds; Raji at the gas station, although friendly, I do not find attractive) 2. I don't particularly care for either team playing Monday Night Football, so I won't be disappointed by whoever wins/loses (unlike most of Sunday's games) 3. My copy of Road Trips Vol. 2, No. 1 arrived today! Cheers! MarkintheDark ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
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16 years 8 months
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the availability of cake and/or cookies. sorry...but..............ah, well
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16 years 10 months
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daddy is going to go drink some scotch and have a cigar. cookies are on top of the fridge. if you can reach em, you can have em.Oh, and dont come crying to me when you get a bellyache form eating too many of em. Peace, The Kid
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16 years 8 months
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where is the cake?
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16 years 6 months
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watch out for phooey bird, don't wanna have to run from it!
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16 years 1 month
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It's the Phoo Bird, capital P, capital B and its named should only be uttered with a hushed tone of fearful respect. You think not sending on a chain letter will jinx ya, you don't want to phuck with the Phoo Bird. Hey johnman, cookies and cake are basic food groups to me, so they didn't factor into the "why things didn't suck so much" equation - they're *always* available. When the Little Debbie stash gets down to half a cabinet it's time to go shopping. ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
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Sounds like Mark is not so in the dark bout cookies, and just may be a man after your own heart. Just know he's slaying me in this thread.********************************** Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you will still exist, but you have ceased to live. Samuel Clemens
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16 years 6 months
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can't figure out what "not sending on a chain letter means" I was just trying to be nice but from your tone I'll say phuck you and phooey.
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17 years 3 months
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quick pop in from the road... en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wenonah,_New_Jersey#External_links please scroll down to the bottom of the page. gee whiz??!! I wonder how that got in there. good luck wiht the new place, Mom!! love and peace. yuk yuk yuk. love and peace.
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16 years 8 months
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i don't see anything of interest at the bottom of the page.....'course, i trip over my doorstep every mornin', too!
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16 years 1 month
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...because I am having a frozen pot pie, and the thought of a brand new Grateful Mom-run Italian market/deli/restaurant (note correct spelling) just made me focus on how pathetic a frozen pot pie for dinner really is. I will have to have many cookies for dessert. Good job CC. The Wiki-wonks will take it out though, they tend to be humorless that way. ********************************************* I have a sigfile! --> www.kindveggieburritos.com *********************************************
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16 years 8 months
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but i'd swear it wasn't there when i looked earlier, then again, i'd swear that a turkey pot pie ain't that bad with tobasco, shredded cheese, garlic salt, and 7 beers
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I can't see it and thats not fair...what does it say!!!! OMG we were soo freaking busy these past daze!! We are so unprepared for the crowd!! But people were so nice and we are so grateful!! Im drinking some vino now trying to chill...we need help , send some helping vibes! Peace, Gigi