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  • Anonymous (not verified)
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    Guido reunites with Hippy...
    ...on the way to OZ. It seems that Guido was once again being forced into the role of "The Family Hammer" in this sprint to get to the great Oz,, who, it seemed, had two good bitches and two bad bitches under his control, plus a few other freaks missing vital organs, who were part of Hippy's crew. One of the evil bitches had command of the squad of flying monkeys and Guido thought there might be some easy way to use them to to make the hit on Oz. Hippy was a bad influence though. He spoiled all his bad plans with those poppies, making everybody feel like they were lost in a Chinese Opium den in NYC in the 20s. Something had to be done about this intractable situation. But what?
  • ripple70
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    are not mixing well with the beer
    am i awake,asleep,dreaming what is this road here all yellow made out of bricks and what are all they flapping hairy things flying above somebody.......
  • gratefaldean
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    Chapter 2 Hippy and Guido
    Flying monkeys are quite rare, and humans that interact with them are rarer still, so to say that Hippy and Guido had something in common is akin to saying that twins have "something" in common. But despite their obvious physical and philosophical differences, Hippy and Guido shared one other quirk of fate: they were blessed (many say "saddled" or even "cursed," but don't count Hippy or Guido among those naysayers) by their parents at birth with names that carried...expectations. Guido was raised in the Family, and the Family had a Business. Guido grew into his name and his business like corn grows in Iowa. In his early days, he acted as an enforcer for the Family: when gentler arts of persuasion failed to convince Family clients to do right (which is to say, pay up), Guido was adept at using brute strength, baseball bats, tire irons, lead pipes, and found objects by the dozen to bloody noses, bust jaws, break arms and legs, and shatter knees in order to convince recalcitrant clients to pay what was owed the Family. Even in later years as he rose through management, finally becoming a Boss, and then the Boss of Bosses, Guido remained hands-on in many of his business dealings. When it came time for a stupid, stubborn client to pay the ultimate price for crossing the Family, Guido always took the task on himself, and by himself. He had a sawed-off shotgum cunningly hidden in the trunk of every car that he owned, and used the weapon to dispatch his targets. And everywhere he went, whether it was the swamps of Jersey, the plains of Spain, the cornfields of Iowa, or that poppy field just over the rainbow from Kansas, Guido knew just the spot to stash the body where it would never, ever be found. Guido lived up to expectations, and he prospered. Hippy's story was a little different, as there was not really a family business nor history to live up to. To be honest, he grew wide at the hip in his mother's womb, causing so much grief at childbirth that she insisted that he be called "Hippy." It's right there on this birth certificate, notarized and sealed. Hippy eventually grew into his hips and became quite hip in the process. Hippy entered the burgeoning "hippie" scene in the Bay Area (what's up with that odd spelling, he often thought, as if the New York Times had any clue as to the proper spelling of "hippy"). Hippy was a hippie's hippie, admired and trusted by all. No object was more closely identified with Hippy than his 66 VW microbus, hand-painted (and over the years, hand-painted, and painted, and painted, until many wondered if there was still any steel left under all that paint) and lovingly maintained by Hippy for decades. The van has been driven over every continent but Antarctica (today Hippy looks at the shrinking ice mass at the bottom of the world, wondering if he'll get a chance for a roadtrip there before he dies), and is fast approaching the 3 million mile mark...or so. Hippy's van's odometer goes only as high as 99999.9, so keeping track of that 3 million miles has been nearly as much a challenge as keeping the old flower-powered warhorse on the road. Hippy began a tradition of, wherever he was, throwing a big party every time the odometer turned over. Usually 5 or 800 of his closest friends would show up in time for the festivities, but there was this one time in upstate New York, on a farm owned by a guy with a funny name, where things got a little out of hand. Half a million people showed up for the party, and the house bands (more and more just kept showing up) played and played and played. Hippy had grown into his name like hemp on the side of the road, and he too prospered, after his own fashion. But as much as Hippy and Guido had in common, it was their differences, especially their differences over the flying monkees, that set them on a dangerous path that one could not conceive of ending well.
  • free idea
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    poppies
    poppies poppies poppies....
  • johnman
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    IF one can...
    .......yawn!!!..........stay........awake.......poppies.......hee....heeheee......zzzzzzzz...
  • Anonymous (not verified)
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    Hippy realized the stash box...
    ...had been opened way to often and the result was all these flying monkeys and buried mimes ambling about. Funny, it used to be a lot more transcendent when that box got opened back in the day. "Should I take them to OZ", he mused? If we follow the yellow-brick road past the poppy fields things are bound the get better, though there was bad blood between some clans of the flying monkeys. Ahh well, it always seemed a rather jolly time after a jaunt through the poppy fields.
  • johnman
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    uh-oh
    the hallucinogens again....
  • Mr. Pid
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    Meanwhile
    The lonely Coors party ball back in the yurt began to pine for the missing monkey murder as it secretly longed to be with them given their original flight plan. It harbored secret desires to go tilting at windmills where it had heard such things might happen, and had little desire to be sentenced to either Iowa or Kansas. No, it had heard of far more interesting fields of grain, and it longed to see them. And so it began to gently strum its guitar and sing to itself, very soft, yet very clear. Guido, Tony and Bob were astonished at this display, their jaws hanging slack in amazement, but hippy was completely nonplussed as he and the beer ball went way back. "Far out, ball! I hear that," he said. "Maybe we should swing by and pick up the mimers, too. I'd bet they could use a nice vacation on the Costa Del Sol right about now!" As he was looking up the fail-safe money recall code for the day, Bob snapped out of it and said... Conversation is always more interesting than recitation, so speak your mind and not someone else's.
  • JackstrawfromC…
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    I will agree
    That swans are mean birds... really they are.. although not as vicious as turkeys, those damn things will chase you down and corner you! "It's got no signs or dividing line and very few rules to guide"
  • johnman
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    vicious swans??
    hmmmm......
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a tale in progress, by request
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Every day I get in the queue (Too much, the Magic Bus)To get on the bus that takes me to you (Too much, the Magic Bus) I'm so nervous, I just sit and smile (Too much, the Magic Bus) Your house is only another mile (Too much, the Magic Bus) Thank you, driver, for getting me here (Too much, the Magic Bus) You'll be an inspector, have no fear (Too much, the Magic Bus) I don't want to cause no fuss (Too much, the Magic Bus) But can I buy your Magic Bus? (Too much, the Magic Bus) Nooooooooo! Pete Townshend
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at the bottom of the rainbow was a pot of gold, and a bunch of very startled Oz Leprechauns, who were holding their ears in dismay at the vuvuzela fanfare.********************************** I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Wilde
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monkeys did not like the look of the leprechauns and eyed them suspiciously,the fanfare subsided and ripple asked one of the leprechauns to point him in the direction of the great wizard,the leprachauns took off swiftly they did not like the look of the ripple and his hippy.Off flew the monkeys in search of the great wizard,ripple just sat,too much the magic bus.......
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the monkeys and leprechauns stopped what they were doing. They all had a shocked and dismayed look on their little faces as if a great disturbance had occurred.......somewhere....far away in the lad of ill ah noyeee a strong, wise, and kind heart stopped beating, and they somehow knew things had changed forever though they knew not why....... (for your daddy, Tigerlilly....we love you!!)
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on this story??********************************** I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Wilde
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but I think there was something about a collision between monkeys and reindeer........
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I've though about it a little lately, have been too holidaze-lazy to do more than that.
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haven't really been following this topic just thought every would like to know that the flyin monkey is a theater in plymouth , nh ....maybe they all decided to go into acting after all they did star in the wizard of oz www.flyingmonkeynh.com
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so THAT'S where the nest is......
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I thought someone had picked up this thread again. I had a scene in my head about the van tooling down the Golden Road (aka Yellow Brick Road)...but hadn't figured out exactly where it was headed. Hmmm....flying monkeys.
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The mission was on. The road that runs through Oz (known as "the Yellow Brick Road," and by some, "The Golden Road") is nigh on impossible to navigate for the novice. The are no maps, few signs or dividing lines, and very few rules to guide. The roads themselves have a habit of dead-ending without warning; circling back on themselves; and scarier still, a path that leads to Point A one day may lead to Point B, or Z for that matter, days, weeks, or years later. This basic unreliability meant that in order to have a prayer of getting to where you want to go, you need to bring a boatload, a damn supertanker load, of experience and intuition to the process. Bertha (the woman) possessed both in spades. Not only had she made hundreds of trips over Oz hill and dale, but she could always tell the deuces from the aces in a deck of cards, easily avoided the Suicide Jack, and under her gaze, the Queen of Diamonds would shine like the sun. Bertha (the woman) therefore found herself at the wheel of Bertha (the van), Hippy riding shotgun, various and sundry of the crew piled into the back, and a group of flying monkeys settled atop the roof. Though Hippy had driven the van millions of miles, Bertha (the woman) had logged more than a few hundred thousand behind the wheel herself, spelling Hippy during their trips through the desert, taking the wheel when he was seeing double during many a San Fransiscan night. Though a few decades had passed since she'd planted her butt in that driver's seat, Bertha felt right at home. Bertha depressed the clutch, turned the key, gave the old van some gas, let out the clutch. Bertha (the van) lurched forward about 3 feet and stalled out. Bertha's clutch, you see, had a miniscule (some would say microscopic) sweet spot: if you didn't hit it and finesse it just right, your trip in Bertha was bound to be confined to a series of very annoying three-foot forward lurches...assuming that you were on level ground. Bertha (the woman) turned to Hippy and said, "You've been keeping this bucket of bolts running for close to half a century and you NEVER FIXED THE FRIGGIN' CLUTCH??" Hippy chuckled for a few seconds, then responded, "C'mon Bertha, of COURSE I fixed it. Problem is, when I got it just exactly perfect, I hated it. You have no idea how long it took me to fine tune it back to the way it was before I started 'fixing' the sucker." Bertha (the woman) touched Hippy's hand and gave him a great big smile, and Hippy's heart melted a little bit more than just a little. She cranked up the van's engine again, popped the clutch, and smoothly shifted through the gears up to cruising speed. "Just like riding a bicycle," she said, right pleased and amazed at the wonders of muscle memory. "We're off to see the Wizard!" she exclaimed, more out of tradition than intent. Thus the crew began its journey down the Golden Road: Bertha's eyes fixed on the road, confidently making decisions at each fork and crossroads, Hippy's eyes fixed on Bertha, the monkeys playing five-card stud on the roof, and everyone else in the back cranking Dead tunes and playing video games. Bertha (the woman)'s good mood slowly dissipated. It started when she began to notice that the surrounding fields and forests were encroaching on the road: in some places, the yellow bricks were visible only as narrow tracks. Infrastructure problems in Oz were unheard of, and Bertha had no idea why the road wasn't being maintained. And then, They faced a vast cornfield, and the road forked wide, right and left. An empty scarecrow stand was directly ahead of them, and though there was a sign at the juncture, it characteristically and unhelpfully pointed nowhere in particular. Bertha stopped the van. She felt nothing, no inkling of the direction to take. She stuck her head out the window and said something to the flying monkeys. Immediately two monkeys folded their hands and flapped up from the van. One headed left, one headed right down the road. Bertha (the woman) looked at Hippy and said, "Hippy, something is very wrong here. I've sent those two to do some recon for us, but I have a bad feeling that we may never see them again. We need to be thinking about what to do if they don't come back, because this very well could be...the end."
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The end of what, many might ask....
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For this story, so I thought I'd bring it to an end...but made sure it wasn't really an end to the story, just in case someone might like to pick it up again at a later date.
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....were actually reeper and predator drones designed to fool he Taliban. by locating the yellow brick road and it's adjacent crops. This they did very well and returned with a light "thud" to the bus where they were fed terminator remnants. Now, there were good and bad flying monkeys and the micro-bus had unfortunately discovered the wrong kind. What was called for now were empathetic healing flying monkey drones to replenish the crops.and bring peace to the kingdom, hippy & bertha.
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the beginning or the end? thought thease monkeys flew off months ago are they back
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Another opens, Ripple. Is it the end or the beginning? I dunno...I felt as if the thing had kind of petered out, and I'm not sure that I want to follow the Taliban into the plot, but hey, who knows?
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the taliban have no place in here brother, thinking about a new story just now!!!!1
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For a cookie and a beer, though the way today is going, beer should come first, and often.
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then a cookie, washed down with a beer. Repeat as necessary.
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Spammer has hijacked our story....release the flying monkeys!!
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perhaps Ripple's wanting to throw a huge white wedding for one of the monkeys, who fell in love. :) ********************************** I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Wilde
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You can gussy up a flying monkey in a wedding dress, but I'm thinking that the phrase "beautiful bride" will not get much use during or after the ceremony.
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well I would hope that the lucky monkey's husband-to-be finds her to be a beautiful bride in her spammy wedding dress ;)********************************** I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Wilde
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I don't think that counts within the spirit of fictional improvisation. Out it goes.
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Is, as you may not know, considered a delicacy among flying monkeys. But there's nothing delicate about the winged apes' reaction to this traditional "mystery meat" product. Just a hint, a glimpse of an iconic blue can of spam will set them to tying napkins (or any substitute scrap of fabric, including wedding dresses) around their necks in eager anticipation of feasting on this salty treasure. Once the can is open, the monkeys will engage in a feeding frenzy the likes of which should not be witnessed in a family-friendly story such as this. Yes, flying monkeys do love their spam. And for those who would like to see spam erased from this world, virtual and real, I say again, release the flying monkeys!!
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thank you for that informational tidbit, Dean! :) Let the flying monkeys have a spam frenzy-and rid us of this plague indeed!********************************** I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Wilde
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And figured I'd percolate this now very-much-out-of-sequence funtime project back up to the top of the Forum list to say it. Anyone heard from him since he lost his internet connection? I hope things are going better... For that matter, ripple70 disappeared pretty suddenly, without warning, as well, and I can't say that I've seen Mr Pid in these parts of late either. Get back to where you once belonged....
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i wonder about a lot of handles that come and go
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That there's some number of Dead.net users who reinvent themselves with a new "nomme de mort," new avatar, new profile? I'm in kind of a "shedding my skin" mood myself...
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Got connection back via smartphone about 2.5 years ago, though getting into dead.net was close to impossible. I now have a laptop, but using hotspot on my phone still allows me only limited access due to time constraints. Had to move in with my father when he could no longer care for himself. The 55 and up community he lives in had free cable and internet, but dropped those amenities not long after I acquired the laptop, hence the use of Hotspot/wi-fi...time will tell if our finances improve...nice being back, though this device works different than my home PC. Still learning....
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is nice to have around, johnman. I hope you get lots of beer and cookies from Santa this year. Do you leave out beer and cookies for Santa? That would kinda make it Even-Steven, I would think.