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  • marye
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    looks okay here
    but if you run into trouble lemme know and I'll nuke the extra.
  • jimmieji
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    the Long and the Short of it
    Sorry for the double post I can't figure out how to delete a post
  • jimmieji
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    the Long and the Short of it
    My 1st Grateful Dead show was NYE 1971 at Winterland.I spent the next 15 years on the road and mostly in the "alternative" economic system in the Greater SF Bay area and counties to the north (with a brief sojourn in Tucson, Arizona). Most of the middle 70s to early 80s were spent "up North," guerrilla gardening. During all that time The Dead and my particular family of fellow Dead Heads were THE CENTRAL focus of my life. Everything from the music, to romance, to children, to how I earned a living revolved around that scene. Getting high for fun, turned into getting high for profit, and finally, to getting strung out as a hard fall from grace I lost my life-partner and child. That breakup - caused by too many reasons to fathom; but definitely fanned and fed by my drug use and addiction - was an ugly, sad, tragic, period; full of self-pity, guilt, and remorse. And, of course MORE DOPE! Got another family. Got REALLY strung out. By this time I had entered the "mainstream" economy, but was shocked at all the chicanery "straight" folks could get up to. But that's beside the point. Drugs finally stopped working - literally - I could not get enough DOPE into my system in order to get high. I could stay "well," but I COULD NOT get high anymore. Had a moment of clarity - got clean, July 21, 1989. I worked a half-ass program of recovery, but by "the grace and mercy of the miracle of recovery," I stayed clean for 17 (seventeen) years! Eventually, because my participation in my own recovery and (just as important) in the recovery of others was less than enthusiastic, my spiritual conditioned began to suffer. Meetings became a bore and a chore; my fellow recovering addicts became an object of my resentmeant. I stopped going to meetings on a regular basis. Of course, before long, I relapsed - to my utter SHOCK & SURPRISE. Pain meds prescribed for a legit reason, but by an UNINFORMED doctor - I chose to keep him in the dark about my status as an addict - were the substance I began to abuse. As prescribed, "1 or 2, every 6-8 hours as needed for pain" became "6 or 8 every 1 or 2 hours as I DESIRE to get LOADED." I stayed "out there" for the next six years. Finally, I came back to "the rooms" at my wife's urging - that's right, this angel has stayed with me through thick, thin, and whatever the cat brought in. I sat in meetings for a few days, blubbering to myself while all those around me tried to get the message of recovery through my thick, muddled head. ACTION was urged by all, get a sponsor, read the literature, WORK THE STEPS! Tomorrow I see my pain doc; cop to being a 12 stepper, and begin to taper off all narcotic pain-meds. Even when prescribed for legit pain by an INFORMED doctor, FOR ME using narcotic pain meds is just too slippery-a-slope. This is NOT a judgement for any other recovering addict who has a legit need for (any kind of) medication - this is just what I have to do IN MY CASE AT THIS POINT IN TIME. Day-after-tomorrow will once again be Day 31 for this addict, as long as I don't do something really DUMB. I also meet with my sponsor on that day, as on every Saturday morning. That is the BIG CHANGE this time around - I finally have a sponsor with whom I meet on a REGULAR basis EVERY WEEK! I am learning that the 3rd step, to make a decision to surrender my will and my life over to THE CARE of a power-greater-than-myself must be followed up by ACTION: 1. GET HONEST 2. WORK THE REST OF THE STEPS Okay, that's more than I meant to share, thanks for listening, that is, if you made it this far. If not, well . . . thanks anyway! Love to all, JiJi
  • sherbear
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    ------------------------------(-----@
    If I am in New York in the US of A; can I look outmy window and see India? Great questions.
  • Moonprophet
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    HI...
    ...although I am in recovery, this is sort of an off topic post. I am putting it here because it seems to be the only place the webiste will allow me to post. Can anyone explain to me why the grateful dead community/family seems to be denying the existance of Bruce Hornsby? Was this at his request? Was there a falling out? How many years do you have to play with the band to become a member? I am looking at a picture of the hall of fame induction and he is clearly standing there. I have tapes with him clearly playing. I saw him live. I am not insane. Even the picturte in question (in the Grateful Dead scrapbook) shows him, but deliberately ignores him in the caption. The cardboard cutout of Jerry is clearly identified, but we are supposed to pretend that Bruce is not in the picture. What gives? Tom Constanten is listed as a member of the band and I don't beleive I ever heard a live recording with him in it.....
  • sherbear
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    ---------------jaybird13----(---@
    Found you here this morning andwanted to drop you a vibe and love and a note. Being sober will not be hard to be if you remember that's what you want to be. If you think you'd rather be (insert your shoice of words) it will be aweful and you might fail at your endeavor. *Want* to be sober and you will succeed. It won't matter where you are because our wants almost always win in our behaviors. Like minded friends just make it super extra fun. Want all good things for yourself and you'll find your wants; right at your own backdoor. We are creatures of our own pleasures; let being sober be what pleases you most and the sailing will be smoother that expected. As for the addiction part, teach your body well, it needs a new motivation for pleasure. A brisk walk can get you high as can volunteering and many other wonderful, exciting, creative, and magical choices. All the best to you, jaybird13. One of my dearest friends friend just made it to a brand new existence and their life is brand new. Wharf Rats Rock, be proud. "Whiskey got no hold on me." -Steve Earle
  • jaybird13
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    New to the Rats, new to recovery
    I just went into recovery from alcoholism last Thursday. I love my new life already but I was concerned about going to shows and festivals this summer without any sober friends. A good friend of mine told me to check into Wharf Rats to help me solve this dilemma. Man, am I glad to know you guys are out there! I will keep an eye on what's going on and will post when I'm out and about to see if any Rats will be going to the same places. I live in Jackson, TN and usually go to Memphis more than anywhere else right now. If there's anybody out there that's in the area please feel free to contact me, I need all the sober buddies I can get. Thanks!
  • OceanSage
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    From the Haight to the Love
    Hey family, Been a while since I checked in. A lot going on. My son is almost 14. Going through the growing pains of the teenage blues with him. I'm doing good. Learning how to show up different in my life, one day at a time. I'm not agro, or stressed anymore, just sort of calm and serene. I've got some inner peace that I didn't know was possible. In fact when I saw others happy and at peace I thought that they were faking it. That it wasn't real. But now I sort of just roll with the punches. Lost my grandmother in September. That was sad. But again, I've learned some tools since I've been clean and any adversity I face is just an opportunity to become stronger and add tools to my tool box. Christmas is here, yet again, my favorite time of year. I've made a lot of good friends now and most importantly I've connected with my higher power. And trust me when I say that that power metamorphasizes from moment to moment sometimes. What ever keeps me clean but I've built trust with my higher power and from that has come faith!! I am so super blessed. Actually, I used to run to Haight for the love of the family, never understanding the words of the woman at my first show, "we're your family", I guess now that means that I'm right where I need to be. As much as I love the Haight, I don't have to get outside of myself to find the love anymore. I do miss the Fam though!! One Love!! Peace and Inity forIver!!! I love you family!! 21 months and staying strong!! Zelda
  • wickerparkwharfrat
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    Chicago Further Allstate show
    Hi, I've been in recovery for 19 days. I am wondering if there will be aWharf Rat presence at the Chicago Allstate Further show this Friday. This will be my first concert that I attend sober. I was hoping to learn more about the following: 1. Where is the Wharf Rat table generally located? I realize there will be yellow balloons, but I was curious if there was a designated area inside the venue. 2. Would I need a floor ticket to access the table? 3. Is there a meeting preceding the event, and, if so, where and when? Thank you in advance for any help/information. - VM wickerparkwharfrat@gmail.com
  • hl2
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    i'm a young kid and i'm
    i'm a young kid and i'm really grateful to have a chance at recovery this early in life. i was on furthur tour for a while and uh ya know, whiskey and l was what we lived on like everyone else. i remember always walking by the wharf rats table and never knew what the hell was going on. never had any idea that those people were sober or that i was an addict. never knew why everyone was always clapping and why they weren't drinking. i always thought wharf rats was like some group of old heads and i wasn't welcome. anyways i started getting sober over the summer after catching a case in the summer and i've never been happier. i was at the spac show over the summer but couldn't find the table but i'll be at albany on tuesday and that will be my first wharf rats meeting. i live in schenectady, ny right now and go to aa meetings around the area. if you live in the area, give me a holler. i would love to meet ya and would love to know if there is already wharf rats meetings up here, and if not, i'd like to try to get it going see ya tuesday
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17 years 6 months
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Welcome, Wharf-Rats.
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17 years 2 months
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Congrats on the 23!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We love YOU too. Thanks for the kind words and the inspiration. Have a great time at Rosemount.peace, love and recovery, lefty
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16 years 9 months
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GR8TFLPT CONGRATULATIONS One day at a time.............In a row
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17 years 4 months
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"One day at a time.............In a row" "No matter where you go, there you are..." Buckaroo Bonzai
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15 years 10 months
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congrats that is awesome! I am down here in so. cal if anyone knows any rats out here in my neck of the woods please let me know. I would like to meet up with some like minded people! Still hoping I get a chance to catch a show this year. We will see. Anyway hello to all and keep in touch.
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16 years 9 months
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San Fernando Valley here.......Drop me a line........meet at the Forum......We shall surely meet as we trudge this road of happy destiny.......May God bless and keep you until then. :o) Broken heart don't feel so bad......You ain't got half of what you thought you had.
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15 years 11 months
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Just a bump to y'all for getting and staying clean. I posted a "looking for" rant on the Dead forum awhile back because I hadn't heard from a friend. The forum moderator must have deleted it for being marginally inappropriate. Turns out the buddy I was looking for was found in his apartment surrounded by empty vodka bottles. Such a sweet, intelligent, funny, tormented soul. Last I spoke with him on the phone he claimed to be sober, but he either was pulling my leg or it didn't last long. Damn. Remember folks, if you're slipping and you're feeling alone, somebody out there loves you. If you don't feel like you can talk with your regular friends or family about it, post on this forum, call a hotline, or something, anything, to stay alive. You've got family right here. You've got family out there. "Ten years ago I walked this street, my dreams were riding tall Tonight I would be thankful, Lord, for any dream at all Some folks would be happy just to have one dream come true But everything you gather is just more that you can lose..." RIP Pablo. "May you build a ladder to the stars and climb on every rung." You'll be with me in Denver in May. Oh, the countless paths we've walked, the countless shows we've ventured... the places and spaces... the beaches and woodlands... never more will those huge toes wiggle in the muds of glee...
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tj crowley only suggesstion i did not take was to 'give up the dead' when i got sober'clean 'wharfrat' just formed and was glad that there was/is an outlet while attending GD shows (other than exiting the show-which is also good advice) pass it on it
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tj crowley i do not agree w/ the wharf-rat sticker 'save your face' and have voiced my opinion for many years. when my clinets complete Tx, i supply them w/ a choice of NA/AA sticker but cut out the extra section of white suppling only the skeleton and diamond/triangle. it's not 'save your face' but save your ass!! i've spent many a year trying to look/sound and pretend all is well when my ass was falling off. so....it's not save my face but my arse and as always 'any A to save my A' beside..it looks better on the back on vehicles w/o extra white area of sticker
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15 years 10 months
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Any wharf rats on here from tours 1988-1991, or from the sober newsletter "Grateful We're not Dead" that existed before that?
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17 years 6 months
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tj crowley got sober in '88. joined the 'yellow ballon' tribe spring tour '88 what do ya need? tom
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17 years 3 months
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I remember drinking bag wine on the haight with Feather and thinking, "life is good". Love that sister. But life changes and you change with it. I went out to Ohio looking for love and good times. Found both..... Did the marijuana maintenance program.... But hey that was for religious purposes, right? I used to come on Dead net in the nineties frying my ass off looking for a chat buddy. I realize now that no one can really have a conversation when they're that high. But even though I really enjoyed the company of the Ohio family, I realized that there was something missing.... It took a return to California to come to terms with my addiction. I was back on dope in no time and I developed schizophrenia just all of a sudden one day. I had been "taking a break" from the dope and it had been a while since I had used when the schizophrenia came on. Scared the holy livin hell out of me. Took three years to be diagnosed. During which time I was sober, well most of the time. I was sober for four years and then one day I guess I just decided to have a drink. No real pearls of wisdom coming from my direction, just think things are gonna work out. I can't get all caught up in the dope this time. No Meth, crack, coke, heroin.... just booze and weed right? Now I'm back in school. Been back in school since last year. Been drinking again for about three months. I'm hanging on to my future by the skin of my teeth. What I really want to do is go on tour. Maybe tour will make it all clear again. Maybe I'll run into some kind Warfrats and I'll put the booze behind me. I feel alone a lot. Not like I felt when I was a teenager and I was exploring the coast. When I was young and influencial and I loved the music and the music loved me back. But just alone. Not many people my age at the school I'm going to and even though there are heads here I'm just not reaching out. Maybe I'll meet up with some kind kids on tour next year, or the year after, or...... when I have time. maybe I'll stop then. Well a toast to the love of the dead and the love we share there. Peace to Feather, Star and all the other Haight street kids over the years... may we be immortal. Forever as one. One people, One Heart, One Destiny. One LoveZelda
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17 years 6 months
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I'm not a Wharf Rat and I defer to them, but all kind thoughts and beams of strength and courage to you.
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15 years 10 months
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Hi heads, finally got logged in. just celebrated 11 yrs "sparklinclean" in Jan. Peace all.
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16 years 2 months
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wow-u got a lot goin on....i am almost 1 year sober...i got my masters in 2005...it was a long strange trip for sure...hang in there...dual diagnosis is tough, but u can accomplish anything if u put ur mind to it....hang in there-peace, love, light, n sobriety
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16 years 3 months
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I divorced h on feb 25 05 as a gift to myself i want to get a phat wrap i want to support someone doing the right thing if i can. So anybody get with that give me a line love to hook up or if you con help me out let me know thanks peace. "Nothing left to do but smile smile smile"
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15 years 10 months
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Just sayin "Hi" again. Was sober for many years and toured and went to Rainbow sober in the 80's and 90's. Many yellow balloon nights. I relapsed for many years, you know the story...got too busy and successful for meetings...anyway, I'm back and sober 6 months. Very active in A.A. Going to an A.A. campout (indoors) in Idaho where I live this weekend. Maybe I'll see you at a show if Phil and Friends make it up to my neck of the woods. Nobody plays in rural Idaho, but Maybe Seattle or Missoula or something. I'm living the good life, staying sober and close to the earth. Be well. Russ K.
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17 years 2 months
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you can do this thing ,but the booze won't help . You already know that . It took guts to reach out and I believe that we are all in this together so lean on us. I didn't get it the first time , second time.................. but I celebrated 19 years last Nov. My friend Jimmy C says one day at a time in a row, I like that cause thats how we do it. Sending love your way!peace,love and recovery, lefty
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17 years 6 months
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tj crowley it's one day at a time (ODAT) WE ARE MIRACLE's
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15 years 11 months
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In NA they say alcohol is a drug..period. Be careful girl. Slippery ground. May the sunlight of the spirit shine on you always.
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tj crowley theotherone2...your right and in AA they use the alcohol only to justify/rationalize use of other than alcohol. a drug is a drug is a ........ no matter how i('we') put it into our system it still needs to get to the brain where it does what it's suppossed to. whether it's legal or il-legal..over the counter or under the counter,,shot, popped, snorted or smoked...to the brain it gets effecting neuro-transmitters appropriately. kkep it simple...don't use and go to meetings any A to save your A
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17 years 3 months
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Well, I have twenty four hours now. Maybe I'll be able to celebrate my recovery on Valentines day. Thanks for all the support and kinds words.Zelda
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24 hrs is 24 hrs more than ya had yesterday, so congrats! you don't ever have to use again if you don't want to. & the best part is that you don't have to do it by yourself!
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15 years 11 months
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All any of us in recovery has is another 24. A day at a time. Whatever you did to stay clean for the past 24, why not try it again today? Congrats!! Keep comin back. "I'll get up and fly away"
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17 years 5 months
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That's what I was going to mention. It's great to have a record of success but whether it's days, months, or years we got there ONE DAY AT A TIME. Just like the music, the one comes around every day and what came before doesn't really count. We have to make it through this measure. Take it easy and do it one minute at a time if necessary.
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17 years 2 months
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Right On!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Peace, Love and Recovery, Lefty
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17 years 6 months
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tj crowleyi used holidays all the time.....thanksgiving, xmas, fried-day(s), tuesdays, doris day(s), so celebrate not only being six feet up sucking wind but for not using not using is contra to our being CELEBRATE EVERYDAY!!!!!!!!! congrats
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tj crowley yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is a gift that's why it's the/a present
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15 years 10 months
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I intend to be sober at the Chicago show on May 5th. I know nothing about this group, but see you all there.May innumerable beings benefit.
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1210 days........In a row.........And I still believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.......LOL.......( You know its gonna get stranger.......so,....Let's get on with the show! ).......And only by the Grace of that Power.....I'll meet many more wharfrats at the 2 shows in Chicago, 1 show in Denver, 1 show in Los Angeles, 1 show in Mountain view, and a show at the gorge.......One Show at a Time.....So, lack of power is my dilemma.......I have to find that power......The BB tells usme......There is One who has all power. That One is God.......And the BB tells me exactly where to find Him.......and may you find Him........NOWIn order to be in the presence....You must be in the present...........Marvel in the ordinary (((HUGS))) Lefty............Congrats Zelda(((HUGS)))...........May innumerable beings benefit.......Thanks for that one Unborn Poet(((HUGS)))..........(((HUGS))) to ALL......And you shall surely meet some of us as you trudge this road.......( tour this tour ).......of HAPPY destiny........May God bless you and keep you until then. :o) Peace, Love , and Recovery Jimmy C. November and more as I wait for the score. They're tellin' me forgivness is the key to every door.
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15 years 10 months
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plus 6 months as of today. grateful for recovery and grateful to have seen what we saw and been where we were too. first show 7/7/86, last show 7/9/95 and a couple hundred days between. sorry i missed out on the fellowship at the shows, i guess i just wasn't ready. thank god i survived long enough to be here now. thank you wharfrats. any michigan sober heads out there, drop me a line
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17 years 4 months
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Well, today is my birthday, my real birthday. Getting older, but lovin' every minute of it. I can't wait for the shows, I'll be going to 2 in Philly. I love to read these posts becasue you all remind me that I'm doing the right thing. I know that I am, but you help remind me. I love my life, I love that I know what I'm doing now and that I remember all the great things I do and the great shows that I see and hear. I just celebrated 39 years of life and I've got 4 years+ of sober life. One day at a time is right.Someone recently posted that saying, "No matter where you go, there you are." I love that! Enjoy yourselves and celebrate every day!!!! Nothin' left to do but smile, smile, smile!
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15 years 11 months
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I like the posts that is so true I have to hear it and see it to believe it but it is IT!! I thought I would just wonder round till I came to the end but I will have 425 days on the 28th God willing- anyone who wants to drop me a line would be appreciated i was hesitant to go to any shows but I decided to get tix for worcester and hartford but worried I might "glorify" the scene and forget what I am - anyone else going those shows clean and sober? I'm gettin a miracle EVERY DAY!!!
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15 years 9 months
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Hi everyone, my name is Brian and I'm New to the Wharf Rats. My sponsor and I were wondering if anyone is goig to the phiily fri show and to Derek trucks band in Reading,Pa April4? also, Mountain jam at Hunter mtn. and the Beacon run. Ia m relatively new to sobriety and it would be great to meet some sober people down at the shows to " keep it simple " and not as tempting . My e-mail address is BSharp267@gmail.com. Thanks
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15 years 11 months
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Welcome aboard. This bus has a new driver, greater than me or you. Good that you're connecting before you start goin to shows. We dont do this alone. Im sure you will find some Rats in your area, and when you get to your first sober show look for the WR table. We are everywhere. Follow the yellow balloons. Heres a site you should check out.. http://liwarfrats.sampasite.com/liwharfrats/ Peace...."I'll get up and fly away"
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17 years 3 months
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Well thought I'd keep everybody posted... I had one week yesterday!! I'm gonna go to the show at the Gorge in Quincy so maybe I'll see some of you there!!Zelda
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17 years 6 months
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tj crowley congrats on ODAT be aware of walking (dancing) into the lions lair tho the support (warf-rats) is on location, the den is still il-advised in early sobriety remember..walk leggs walked in to venue can walk you out should the surrounding(s) be enticing/uncomfortable bring sober folk w/ you to show(s) !!!!!!!!!!
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15 years 9 months
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New to being sober and am looking to met any one who is going to the show in may.Would like to met other sober heads at the show.
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tj crowley too often i have heard in session (and/or at mtg's) of folk relapsing because they were not vigilant re; sobriety/abstinence... attending (grateful)dead gigs is a p p & t (people place and thing)!!!! as Elmer said in his approach to the wabbit....'be weary carful' anything 'we' put before our sobriety can/will set up for relapse
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16 years 2 months
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havent posted in a while....Happy B-day Jenny n congrats on all of u newly sober folks!! If we are smart we will remember that we are all new to sobriety no matter how many 24 hours we have under our belts....Finally-finally-finally-gettin close to that one year mark.....cant believe it...only through the grace of God n the power of AA....n knowin some great rats too...Lefty! Hope to see some of you in April!!!love n light
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15 years 10 months
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Easter night will be the 38th anniversary of my first Dead show which was 4/12/71 Pittsburgh .. NRPS (with Jer on Pedal Steel) opened ... The night was magical and I was on The Bus .. was also a very colorful chemically induced purple haze. Saw many shows over the years before I got clean and sober. My sobriety date is 12/31/82 ... first shows sober were the Hampton '87 Spring run ... Have attended many WharfRat meetings at many shows since then...Happy to say that this will be the first show that my 18 & 20 yr old children have attended ... although they were raised on The Dead, my wife was against taking young children to shows. Can't wait to shake these old bones with my young'uns. See you all at the Yellow Balloon 'jubilee'
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15 years 10 months
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would like to hook up with Wharf rats, live in bella vista AR a retirement community (not manydead fans here!) need a person to identify with especially after all the TRIPS, most of these AA folks have no idea, please respond
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17 years 6 months
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Hope to run into you at the show!!!!
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17 years 2 months
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Anyone going to Denver? Maybe doin' a table?TommyO
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15 years 11 months
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3 days+ and no rats on the forum???????????
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17 years 6 months
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Whoooo Hoooo dont need dope to dance!!!
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16 years 9 months
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Is so cool :o) November and more as I wait for the score. They're tellin' me forgivness is the key to every door.
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15 years 9 months
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I first found the Warf rat's by mistake stumbling up the steep lawn with my fists clinging 2 overpriced beers. As I paused to catch my balance I noticed that i was in a 12 step like environment. I don't want to make any assumptions but with any luck i will make my first sober shows on the 4th and 5th of May!! ONE DAY/Show at a time. The music known as the Grateful Dead started 40 years ago. It has never stopped. It will live on as long as the Legend remains alive through all of us deadheads. Let the songs be sung and the rhythms played in combo with perfectly improvised melody. Grateful till I'm Dead Joe
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17 years 6 months
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hi folks--there is now a Meet Me at... topic for each stop on the tour, so feel free to discuss local logistics there, though you're of course welcome to discuss them here too. Whatever works! Thanks! ME