Grateful Dead

I'm not a Wharf Rat and I defer to them, but all kind thoughts and beams of strength and courage to you.

I remember drinking bag wine on the haight with Feather and thinking, "life is good". Love that sister. But life changes and you change with it. I went out to Ohio looking for love and good times. Found both..... Did the marijuana maintenance program.... But hey that was for religious purposes, right? I used to come on Dead net in the nineties frying my ass off looking for a chat buddy. I realize now that no one can really have a conversation when they're that high. But even though I really enjoyed the company of the Ohio family, I realized that there was something missing.... It took a return to California to come to terms with my addiction. I was back on dope in no time and I developed schizophrenia just all of a sudden one day. I had been "taking a break" from the dope and it had been a while since I had used when the schizophrenia came on. Scared the holy livin hell out of me. Took three years to be diagnosed. During which time I was sober, well most of the time. I was sober for four years and then one day I guess I just decided to have a drink. No real pearls of wisdom coming from my direction, just think things are gonna work out. I can't get all caught up in the dope this time. No Meth, crack, coke, heroin.... just booze and weed right? Now I'm back in school. Been back in school since last year. Been drinking again for about three months. I'm hanging on to my future by the skin of my teeth. What I really want to do is go on tour. Maybe tour will make it all clear again. Maybe I'll run into some kind Warfrats and I'll put the booze behind me. I feel alone a lot. Not like I felt when I was a teenager and I was exploring the coast. When I was young and influencial and I loved the music and the music loved me back. But just alone. Not many people my age at the school I'm going to and even though there are heads here I'm just not reaching out. Maybe I'll meet up with some kind kids on tour next year, or the year after, or...... when I have time. maybe I'll stop then. Well a toast to the love of the dead and the love we share there. Peace to Feather, Star and all the other Haight street kids over the years... may we be immortal. Forever as one. One people, One Heart, One Destiny. One LoveZelda

tj crowley got sober in '88. joined the 'yellow ballon' tribe spring tour '88 what do ya need? tom

Any wharf rats on here from tours 1988-1991, or from the sober newsletter "Grateful We're not Dead" that existed before that?

tj crowley i do not agree w/ the wharf-rat sticker 'save your face' and have voiced my opinion for many years. when my clinets complete Tx, i supply them w/ a choice of NA/AA sticker but cut out the extra section of white suppling only the skeleton and diamond/triangle. it's not 'save your face' but save your ass!! i've spent many a year trying to look/sound and pretend all is well when my ass was falling off. so....it's not save my face but my arse and as always 'any A to save my A' beside..it looks better on the back on vehicles w/o extra white area of sticker

tj crowley only suggesstion i did not take was to 'give up the dead' when i got sober'clean 'wharfrat' just formed and was glad that there was/is an outlet while attending GD shows (other than exiting the show-which is also good advice) pass it on it

Just a bump to y'all for getting and staying clean. I posted a "looking for" rant on the Dead forum awhile back because I hadn't heard from a friend. The forum moderator must have deleted it for being marginally inappropriate. Turns out the buddy I was looking for was found in his apartment surrounded by empty vodka bottles. Such a sweet, intelligent, funny, tormented soul. Last I spoke with him on the phone he claimed to be sober, but he either was pulling my leg or it didn't last long. Damn. Remember folks, if you're slipping and you're feeling alone, somebody out there loves you. If you don't feel like you can talk with your regular friends or family about it, post on this forum, call a hotline, or something, anything, to stay alive. You've got family right here. You've got family out there. "Ten years ago I walked this street, my dreams were riding tall Tonight I would be thankful, Lord, for any dream at all Some folks would be happy just to have one dream come true But everything you gather is just more that you can lose..." RIP Pablo. "May you build a ladder to the stars and climb on every rung." You'll be with me in Denver in May. Oh, the countless paths we've walked, the countless shows we've ventured... the places and spaces... the beaches and woodlands... never more will those huge toes wiggle in the muds of glee...

San Fernando Valley here.......Drop me a line........meet at the Forum......We shall surely meet as we trudge this road of happy destiny.......May God bless and keep you until then. :o) Broken heart don't feel so bad......You ain't got half of what you thought you had.

congrats that is awesome! I am down here in so. cal if anyone knows any rats out here in my neck of the woods please let me know. I would like to meet up with some like minded people! Still hoping I get a chance to catch a show this year. We will see. Anyway hello to all and keep in touch.

One show at a time!!!!