Grateful Dead

can mean many things including1: a strong coarse tobacco that has been shredded 2: a matted tangle of hair or fiber; "the dog's woolly shag" 3: a fabric with long coarse nap; "he bought a shag rug" 4: British slang terms for ‘intimate relations’ (a la Austin Powers) 5: a lively dance step consisting of hopping on each foot in turn 6: A bird of the cormorant family 7 to chase after and retrieve (baseballs hit in batting practice) 8 a haircut, short in front and longer in back, with multiple layers cut so as to produce a stylishly unkempt look This provides endless opportunities for fun. Some years ago I was driving to the college where I was a lecturer, the morning after a big storm. On the way I noticed a large black bird sat about 30 yards from the road in a freshly ploughed (plowed?) field. I stopped to have a closer look and saw to my amazement that the bird was a shag (a large bird normally found at sea) that had obviously been blown inland by the storm and had landed, exhausted in the mud. I walked out into the field to rescue it. The shag was too tired to fly, but tried to run away from me. In chasing it around the field I soon became covered in in sticky clay mud. When I finally captured it (taking care to avoid its large sharp beak) I put it into a large cardboard box. I drove on, by now very late for my first class, parked, picked up the box and my bag and ran to the lecture room. The students were all waiting patiently as I rushed in, leaving a trail of muddy footprints, put the box with the bird in it on the desk, and gleefully announced: ‘Sorry I’m late everybody, I had to stop for a shag in a muddy field!’ There was a shocked silence and few nervous laughs and quizzical stares. I savoured the moment for as long as I could before opening the box, to reveal the gratefully rescued seabird! Note: Later I took the shag to a wildlife rescue centre where it was fed lots of fish and soon released back into the wild where it still lives today, telling its disbelieving buddies about the day it went to college.

Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later? I never forget a pussy... cat.

Stepford Wives anyone?? truth is stranger than fiction! how long do you reckon before there is a whole genre of porn starring these 'real' fembots? there is no limit to the depravity of human imagination... sheesh! ( -;

Yeah, baby!

Thanks CB! CCJoe, those were too funny, as well. Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers.

Je mehr ein Mensch sich schämt, desto anständiger ist er!!!

CB, I can't see your post but I'll check back later (for some reason none of the embeds are displaying at the moment). I'd actually love to shag Elizabeth Hurley rotten! I am absolutely in love with her since "Austin Powers..." and the movie, "Bedazzled". She was absolutely fabulous in those devil costumes! Too bad she turned out to be a Fembot. Bummer, man. I like to see girls of that... caliber!

or was it Austin Powers you wanted?

I get Stefanie Powers! Yeah, baby! The Dude Abides!